Kat at Home

We've been asked if Kathy is going to return to work, and we purposely left our options open. She didn't feel strongly enough before the birth that she definitely wanted to stay home and be a mom, or definitely go back to work. Our finances will be fine for a while, we saved pretty good heading into the birth, but gas and everything going through the roof and the stock market down, etc., I said just after the birth that if she wanted to stay home that would be fine ... until maybe the new year. After the holidays we could use the cash and Kathy by that point may be more ready to have some time away for a few hours a day. Well, her maternity leave time was coming up at her work, and Kathy wanted to give them plenty of notice to leave - so that's what she did, letting Arlington Orthopedic know that she will not return to work. As it turned out, the decision had less to do with finances or her motherly nerves, and more to do with her recovery. There's no real red-flag concern, but also not something I'm privy to discuss in an open forum, but let's just say that she still needs some time to recover. Child-birth related woman stuff. So, she'll be around the house a little more in the coming months.

All the books told us that we'll start to know our baby's cries. We'll eventually interpret cries and what each mean. Right now we know his cry when he's hungry. After that, I interpret every other cry as him crying "Mommy!", while Kathy - coincidentally enough - interprets the same cries as him saying "Daddy!" We have interesting debates about this on a nightly basis and it often brings humor to a non-humorous event.

Dining Out

There probably isn't a more white-knuckle experience for a new parent than to go out to dinner for the first time toting the little one. We spend 75% of our lives rolling our eyes at the table with the screaming kid, and now we tempt having the cross-hairs of loathing fixed squarely on ourselves.
It wasn't even my idea. The middle of Saturday, Kathy came up and decided she was having a craving for the blue cheese crumble wedge salad at BJ's Brewhouse by the Parks Mall. Pregnancy had cut her off from blue cheese and now she was ready to OD. We actually took about 20 seconds to review whether Kathy's mom would be up to seeing her beautiful grandson for an hour or two, as we greedily plotted to throw in a trip to Costco or Target into the mix. But ... with sly grins, we both knew it was time to get initiated into bringing him along. The only other trip we'd gone on with him was to Brent & Courtney's house for Parker's second birthday party - not only a controlled family environment, but a kid-friendly home with family expected to be tolerant of a screaming baby. But, a date with John Q. Public was a new one.
Kole was about an hour away from his next feeding, and we sprinted into action around the house to head it off like we'd just got some red-alert that the President was popping in for a visit. I showered and changed ... Kathy got the diaper bag ready ... I eventually made some adjustments to his car seat carriage that I had been putting off before ... it was a mad scramble all around the house. Finally Kathy began feeding him and the house hit a lull. As soon as he was done and groggy - into the car he would go, hopefully fall asleep from the car ride, then everything would go peacefully at the restaurant. We even did a diaper change at the burp intermission, just to be sure.
After he was done Kathy announced "I think he's getting drowsy", and it was on. I put him in his car seat then into the car and got it running with the air blowing. We got on our way and he never really fell asleep. He was alert and seems to enjoy car rides. At BJ's, we took the big entrance - everyone taking a peak in the car seat, pointing and goo-gooing at Kole. At the table we got the sling basket to put him car-seat-and-all into. Kathy and I eventually giggled at ourselves, nervously watching him out of the corners of our eyes instead of just relaxing and talking about whatever. Waiting for him to erupt. But, he slept at first. Our waitress made a point to say that we were "lucky" he was sleeping, and was otherwise disinterested with the presence of a newborn baby at the table. When she left I told Kathy I'll wait to feel lucky when we're heading out the doors. We had the first booth next to the bathrooms, so Kole got lots of rubbernecking traffic - including one near collision between a distracted, admiring woman heading for the loo and a rushing waiter crossing in her path.
Eventually the food came, we got a few bites in, then the feet started kicking underneath his blanket. Eyes open. No crying yet, but we're familiar with the routine. Soon enough, some squawks and grunts. We scarfed down what we could then asked for to-go containers. We took turns holding him when light groans and whines came along. It wasn't full-blown "I'm hungry", and was still far from a pissed off tirade from a 3-year-old who wants more cherries in his Coke. The stares we got from neighboring tables were actually accompanied with smiles, as everyone saw how tiny and new Kole was and how innocent the crying was. By the time he was back in his car seat and we were leaving he was back quiet again. In the car, he was unimpressed by the ride. He let loose and made an ear-shattering disagreement to be dragged along into a Target. So, we headed straight home then I made the store runs afterwards.
Overall - nothing tragic, no big scene made, no big poops that needed addressing. We barely tasted the food and were still throwing high-5s back at the house.

Beer Songs

It was weird coming home last night - seeing my little son for the first time after three nights on the road. I guess I was waiting for him to meet me with hungry eyes and a big giggle. Instead he stuck his tongue out, leaned his head back and farted. Good to see you too, Junior.
Kathy had solo duty with him for the first time while I was gone, then cheated and had her mom over another night. He treated her very well, as he continues to sleep well at night.
We each are finding our own tune to hum or sing while we hold him and calm him down, before or after a feeding when he's a little cranky. Kathy began humming a tune before I left for KC that had a quick, snappy, and repetitive chorus. I quickly identified the tune as "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". She says it repeats itself easy enough and doesn't have to get into any tricky musical pitch bridges.
For more than a week, I began humming a tune over and over again that initially I could only identify loosely as an old television commercial jingle, from at least the 80s and possibly even the 70s. I couldn't remember all the words or the product. But, over time I began piecing more and more bits of the tune together. What I've arrived at, and the tune that I hum to my son during prime DWI hours of 2:00-5:00am, is the following ...
Here's to good friends
Tonight is kind of special
The beer will pour
Must say something more somehoowwww....
So tonight ... toniiiiiggghht ....
Let it be Lowenbrau.
I've found that it too does not have any big peaks in pitch and allows me to stay in a bass that I think is soothing to Kole as he feels the vibrations off my chest.

Incidentally, in an update of the previous post, we got our bill from the anaesthesiologist, and his total charges were $3630, of which we are stuck with paying $469. The previous charge I noted below had something to do with anaesthesiology that had something to do with the hospital. So, anyway, put that final price tag at $20,703 to bring a healthy baby into the world without a single complication whatsoever. Real nice, huh?

1-Month State of the Family

Kole is a month old today. But then, he was 4-weeks old this past Wednesday ... so, whichever calculator you’re using, he’s growing up fast. Many of you have met him, many others have not. Here’s what I can say about him and his life today and what we’ve figured out about him over the past four weeks.
He likes bottles of formula; his mom’s boobs; getting a diaper taken off and letting his twig and berries air out; swinging; having his head rubbed; laying against his mom or dad’s chest while they hum or talk so he can feel the vibrations of their voice.
He does not like having his clothes changed (garments pulled over his head either way); sitting in a wet diaper or taking a bath. And he does not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, care to be left laying in a bassinet or swing when he is HUNGRY! That’s a recipe for shit to hit the fan. And when the shit in this scenario is green, soupy, and smells of a possum carcass - LOOK OUT!
Speaking of which ... we are desperately trying to close out his Newborn diapers while they can still tape up. He is so ready for the next stage (8-14 lb.) of diapers it’s not funny.
In a recent inventory of clothing, we realized that there were actually three little onesies that we deemed were to small for him in the first place and he never wore. The size on the tag said “newborn” but it was obvious that they would squeeze him like a body suit.
The BabyCenter.com site has a Milestone chart of things babies should be doing, what some are doing, and what advanced babies may be doing at different stages.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_milestone-chart-1-to-6-months_1496585.bc

Kole is vocalizing and cooing, but I don’t know if I’d categorize them as “oohs and aahs”. He smiles briefly, but has not laughed. He can hold his head at a 45-degree angle. He’s already doing things it says 2-months old do, as he follows objects across his field of vision and he notices his hands; and if you’re laying him on your chest - like burping him - he will hold his head up for short periods. So - he’s ahead of the bell curve on some things, maybe behind on others. Take that for what it’s worth.
For the parents-to-be whom I know, and I know are reading this, we have been able to do some final math on what having a child cost us, the medical bills alone. When Kathy was confirmed pregnant by her ObGyn last October we got packets and packets of information, a gift basket, and essentially a 9-month payment plan which would cover all of their expenses for her prenatal care all the way through delivery and recovery, less deductibles, out-of-pocket, etc., lock-stock-and-barrel. The idea being to have all of their bills paid before the baby comes. Then came the recent hospital bill. Then came the pediatrician’s bill. After taking nearly an hour to sift through papers and add it all up ... (catch my breath) ... it cost about $17,870 to bring a perfect, healthy child into this world without ever paying for the first diaper or bottle or can of blue paint for his room. After insurance stepped in and did what they’re supposed to, as United Healthcare is the Fox Entertainment Group’s provider of choice, our out-of-pocket final tally was $2972. The biggest chunk of that came from Arlington Memorial for “Room & Board; IH Misc. Services” which was $11,999; not including the services of the anaesthesiologist which was $797. Those two things alone accounted for $1953 of our out-of-pocket expense.
God bless the USA and our current state of health care.

A 4th Generation

Kole today met his only living great-grandparent. Kathy's grandmother (her mother's mother) is 89-year-old Ora Jane Wood. Kole is her 11th great grandchild, and she even has a great-great grandchild. With all that expertise, her reaction of Kole is that he is "beautiful - just beautiful!" Ora lives in the Indian Hills neighborhood of Grand Prairie, and has for eons, on Bennie Lane, probably about 7 doors down from where my grandma and grandpa Landers lived all of my life. Kathy and I were probably yards away from one another years ago and never knew it.
Kathy and her mom took Kole to see her, while I actually did some volunteer work that was not court ordered. FSN Southwest has teamed with the Texas Rangers and Habitat for Humanity to build a home for a family in need and I signed up for a shift today, spent on the west side of Dallas helping repair the roof, installing windows and insulation. It was a lot of fun and very rewarding, but I feel like the way you do after 10 hours of non-stop skiing for the first time in a long time.

Milk Poo (in Haiku)

The milk mystery:
How can something start so white
And end up so green?

Random Thoughts

I have some thoughts, but frankly I am so tired right now that I have no urge to put them all together in a logical, flowing story-telling monologue. Instead, I have these offerings in no order or priority.
*We have now switched Kole’s formula again to one with natural cultures, which is still milk-based but supposed to be better for digestion, and the cultures are supposed to be good for colic - which we still haven’t officially diagnosed him. We’re using the Nestle Good Start Natural Cultures.
*I can sleep with more noise than I used to. We’ve always slept with white noise - a ceiling fan and an air purifier which nearly sounds like the motor of a Yamaha motor bike. But, now I can sleep or nap with the TV volume higher than I ever thought I could. Even at night, we used to lower the volume before going to sleep and putting the TV on a sleep timer to turn itself off in two hours. Now I can sleep soundly with the TV at a volume where I normally would need to turn it down just to hear Kathy talking 5 feet from me.
*The house is in a constant state of noise. Kathy retrieved the boom-box/CD player from her work and we have that in Kole’s room. Since he doesn’t know “Mary Had A Little Lamb” from U2's “Vertigo” we just keep it on one of the normal stations we would - Jack, or whatever.
*The guest bedroom has become a nightly fixture for the graveyard shift of feeding. No need for both of us to lose sleep. For example, If Kathy is going to do the midnight feeding, she’ll go in the second bedroom while I sleep in our bedroom. After his midnight feeding and Kole is back to sleep, she’ll roll the bassinet into the bedroom with me, then she’ll go back to sleep in the other bedroom. That way she’ll sleep through the next wake-up call at around 4:00 or 5:00am when it’s my turn..
*I hope women don’t start hating my wife. Here 24 days after Kole’s birth, she’s just 7 pounds off her pre-pregnancy weight. Her medical condition in conjunction with the birth is getting better. She did lose a suture somewhere along the way, but the doctor says it’s fine.
*The kid is definitely acknowledging more - quickly darting his eyes to notice things while he’s in his swing. Our lovely 58-inch HD TV is a mile wide for him, so he has to look all around in order to take in the images he sees.
*I don’t shave very often. Since work is so sporadic and I don’t have to go in every single day, and since it’s such a challenge just to get away for any good length of time while at home, shaving has been put off until it is absolutely necessary. I’ve become accustomed to having a regular scruff of a beard, which I use to comb Kole’s head when I’m holding him and trying to calm him from a cry. It normally works and I’m starting to consider it my secret weapon.

Chip off the old block??

Not jumping to any presumptions whatsoever. Just laying out the two photos of us at 24 days. Obviously, my yellow faded photo has been around a while and luckily my mother dated everything on the back of photos, so "24 Days" was a benchmark I've been waiting for to compare shots. Heck - this may help rule out that he'll look like me and may actually resemble his mother. If the kid only knew how to pray ...

Pain in the Ass

Hold a good thought for Kole’s butt cheeks, which are in a state of repair lately. Hopefully Child Protective Services won’t come barging in and assume too much. We were treating his rosey-red hiney with diaper rash ointment over the course of a day or two, when we noticed on Monday two dime-sized spots raising on each butt cheek. Kathy’s mom Joan referred to them as a “burn” more than a rash. Poor guy! We've been wiping him with baby wash cloths the past few days to avoid the alcohol-soaked wipes. Plus, he’s been getting all sorts of ointments and been drying out al fresco. Last night we tried to give him about 10 minutes every couple of hours with a diaper off to air out. One thing became clearly evident - that kid will pee on cue. In a 10-minute airing-out period, I think he peed nearly three times. Not a whole lot, but maybe like a dog does to a mailbox - little squirt here, little squirt there. I'm hoping it will translate to easy potty training ... he feels cool air, start to pee! But, as of late last night his diaper rash/burn condition was improving greatly.
We think the tummy/gas thing is getting better too. The Enfamil Gentlease appears to be working, plus we’ve been dropping a dose of Mylecon in the bottle. He’s been sleeping well too. Once all these little conditions get under control, especially the one with his butt, we’ll see how his eat and sleep and cry schedule go and re-evaluate whether colic has reared its ugly head or not.

Nothing interesting ... except everything

I wanted to give an update, but there’s really not a whole lot going on with Kole himself. His sleep is still all over the map. His crying fits at night are bordering on colic, but we’re still not sure. We’re trying some formula that is supposed to be easier on the tummy and better for gas. We made the mistake of giggling like Beavis and Butt-head at his farting at first, but quickly began to appreciate what his digestive system was going through. The jury is still out on the result of the formula change. I can tell you the result of his poop since the change. I never expected poop to smell like French bread straight out of the oven, but there’s definitely a difference between breast milk poop and formula poop. I think his diapers are making Maggie want to roll over and gag. Speaking of diapers, I couldn’t help but notice how much garbage we now take out. Before the baby, we put out one bag of garbage per week. Not one per trash day - one a week! Being good recyclers, our recycle bin was always out full each week. Sometimes we had to put our second recycle bin out. Now? Two weeks running - both recycle bins overflowing, mostly with Ozarka bottles since that’s what we use with the formula in the bottles, plus Kathy has been guzzling more water. We’ve now accompanied the recycle bins with two full bags of trash each trash day. One is the diaper bag. We opted away from the ‘Diaper Genie’ and other tricked up, high-maintenance specialty items with specialty bags, etc. We just keep a second trash can (with a lid) in the garage, which is 8 steps from Kole’s changing table in his room. A regular 13-gallon kitchen trash bag is about half-full every four days. He’s developed great timing for bathroom breaks. Fresh air definitely gets his system moving. We’ve had the projectile poop on a handful of occasions, then we’ve had the pee fountain several other times. I’ve since instituted a 30-second “airing-out” time period. I un-tape the dirty diaper, give his nether regions a few waves of fresh air, then stand back and wait for any secondary discharge before cleaning up and slipping under the new diaper.
Kathy still isn’t fully recovered from her tear, so that adds a level of being bummed out that’s already on top of the sleep deprivation. Hold a good thought for her. I at least get out of the house when I need to. I’m back to work, but luckily this is the slowest time of the year for us. We’re really just doing some Best Of shows during the summer. This week I’m hoping to knock out two shows, and I shouldn’t have to spend more than 20 total hours in the office to get everything knocked out, freeing up some time to help out more here. I don’t have a road trip scheduled until July 20-23 when I go to Kansas City for Big 12 football interview days.
That’s the update. He’s still not potty trained, since he doesn’t really comprehend any house rules he hasn’t defied any of them, he isn’t tugging Maggie's ears and making enemies with her, he’s just barely 3-weeks old and making life ... interesting. I can sum up the joys of fatherhood many ways, but I think that’s my favorite word these days ... interesting.

First Bath

A photo can't always accompany many "Milestones" - like a first smile, which probably won't come right when a camera is poised and ready. But, the first bath was definitely a Kodak moment. Even got some good video. We had to wait until his umbilical cord completely fell off before we could submerge him in water. For some reason, the books like "Baby 411" say to give a baby his first bath just before a feeding. So, once he got all riled up and fussy and hungry, we drew a bath in the little tub that Kelley loaned us, which was also used for Riley and Reagan. Kathy and I took turns bathing and doing camera duties.
We were actually able to get a clear view of the big fireworks show that went on at Joe Pool Lake. I mean, it's not like we can see water from our house, but we are much closer than I thought to the peninsula at the fork of the lake where the show originated, across the water from Lynn Creek Park. Got a clear sight line between houses when standing on our deck looking south and watched the show - plus the occasional stray bottle rocket or Roman Candle flare nearby from the neighborhood drunks.

Circle of life

October 5, 2007 - Kat's a day "late" and no surprises


December 22, 2007 - A little Christmas show


February 8, 2008 - Now she's starting to fill out - maternity attire makes a debut


April 5, 2008 - Getting regular karate kicks


June 18, 2008 - Getting down to business at 2:30am


The first 60 seconds - We were probably billed for a 'foot massage'


All Done - still my favorite photo

Good Check-up

Good visit with Dr. Carlsson, Kole's pediatrician (for the time being - Kathy's not sure if she likes him). He's now a strapping 8 pounds, 8 ounces and is 21-and-1/2 inches long - nearly a full pound up since his discharge from the hospital. Doctor was actually impressed and not a bit alarmed. His little Mr. Wee was given a healthy thumbs-up on its recovery since circumcision, so no more gauze and Vaseline down there.
Doctor was cool with us switching to formula - it's whatever we think is best, like everyone keeps saying. Kole is a little fart machine lately, blasting off some whoppers that have nearly elevated him a few inches out of his bassinet. The kid is seriously ripping off some doozies with impressive length and surprising bass. At times we've worried about how gassy he is - as normally he's predictably fussy just before lifting a leg and cranking one out. Doctor said to try keeping him more elevated upright when bottle feeding him. We'll give it a shot. This doctor, who has nothing to do with the previous hospital visit for jaundice, again picked the word "perfect" to describe his overall status.
We then went to the hospital for his PKU, which is some state-mandated test where they prick his foot to draw blood and put it on some thing they send in. He was fine after the prick, but the little nurse was jerking his leg and trying to milk his foot of blood like it was a cow udder. That got Kole pretty ticked, but otherwise he was great.
Next doctor appointment is Friday, 8-8-08. Until then - we're clear.