Goodbye 2011 ... And to a Large Part of Me

I think the calendar year is constructed well with spiritual and secular holidays. For Thanksgiving we give thanks; into Christmas where we remember our Creator, shortly followed by the turnover of the calendar into a new year. It's reflective. It's rejuvinating. It's a tangible line in the sand for one to step over and start again.

In reflecting, what stands out with the kids is Karissa's wonderful year of growth and milestones, while Kole ramped up his potty training, comprehension and vocabulary. We have introduced the concept of a "big boy" to Kole and are losing grasp with the things that made him a cuddly little baby and toddler. Karissa now has a small plate of what we eat - as her bottles and bottle washing gear, begin to collect dust and clog up our cabinet space. Every time we turn around we see some toy that doesn't belong. Something that somehow escaped a bedroom closet, or stash space in the living area.

It's a rattle, or a teething ring, or a finger puppet. It's something for a little itty-bitty baby, and now depresingly out of place.

Kathy is a better mother than she'll ever give herself credit for, but has recently come to the conclusion that she is ready to re-enter the workforce on a part-time basis. She will work two days a week at her old X-ray job, then every other week she will work three days in a week. Five days every two weeks. Semi-permanant daycare has had to be established. The home and lives of the people therein continue to evolve.

And then there's the daddy. Good year. The higlights, outside of every day and hour spent with my wife and kids, has to be attending the Rangers ALCS playoff games against Detroit. I've been a Rangers fan all my life, and covered them every day as a reporter on the Budweiser Rangers Report on Channel 5 for four years. I cover other sports for a living now. I go to no fewer than 100 live sporting events every year - but I'm never allowed to be a fan, even if I want a team to win. The Rangers were a different territory. It wasn't for work. It was on the doorstep of the World Series. Luckily, cousin Brent is far more successful than I am and could afford playoff tickets and invited me to three ALCS games. I'll never forget the clinching Game 6. Being able to cheer like a kid again - screaming and jumping in my seat like a mental patient off his meds. I cared about the Rangers in the World Series. I wish I could say I didn't. But, I did. It sucks they lost. But, being there when they clinched the ALCS and made it to the World Series was an experience I'll treasure.

Now, on to the part that is the most personal I've ever blogged about, and toughest to admit.

In February, I turned 40. Quite a milestone. At that time, I had a 2-year-old and a 5-month old. And without stepping on a scale, I knew I was well over 300 pounds. A scale didn't need to tell me. A scale some time before informed me that I was 280, then 285, then 290, then 295. Then I stayed away from the scale. But, I knew. Whether it was 301 or 311 was essentially insignificant. I knew I hit a number that was not only undesirable and unattractive to the superficial world. It was dangerous. It was irresponsible. Being the breadwinner in a household of three precious others, I had collateral damage all around me. It was ignorant and selfish. It was lazy.

Was there a breaking point beyond just looking into a mirror? Of course there was. March 4, an American Eagle flight from DFW to Des Moines for a championship event at Iowa State. I was seated and reading a book while the boarding process continued. As a flight attendant began shutting overhead bins, she came to my seat and said, "Can you buckle your seat belt." I then clumsily marked my book and put it in the seat pocket in front of me, then did that squirmy dance where I look for the straps of the seatbelt from underneath my loins, yanking and tugging them out.

All the while, the flight attendant stood and watched and waited. I quickly glanced at her and made eye contact. She was giving me that look of partial pity and partial impatience. I then realized that her previous comment was not a statement of instruction.

It was a question.

Not, Can you buckle your seatbelt - pretty-please with sugar on top? It was - Are you capable of fastening that belt around your ample waist and belly? My face had to have been as red as it ever has been in my life. Not red with embarrassment. Red with anger.

I grabbed both sides of the seatbelt, scooted back in my seat, inhaled, and clamped the two ends together with no slack to spare. I smiled back at the flight attendant, like, "Happy?" Before stepping away she leaned in and in a hushed voice said, "Let me know if you need an extension."

I stared at my open book for the rest of the flight but never read a word. I just fumed. An extension? That's a tool used by people who buy clothes at Big & Tall shops, motor through a grocery store on a Rascal and take the fatty ramp to the all-you-can-eat buffet. No matter how I wanted to view myself and my generous love handles, it was clear that society and the medical field was viewing me as obese. A heart attack waiting to happen.

For the next few months my brain would stew. I knew my weaknesses. It was not sweets or fried food or fast food. It wasn't a food classification. It was volume. It was portions. Even if it was healthy and low-fat, I'd pile it on and lick the plate clean and go back for more. And with little ones in the house, empty calories are everywhere - Doritos, Oreos, etc.

Women must wonder what is going through their husband's mind when they talk and talk, and the husband is zoned out, mind somewhere else. We get accused of tuning them out. Comedians, men and women alike, can live like a king making fodder of this interaction. Many, many nights, I would come home and be completely tuned out and zoned out. I would get busted tuning Kathy out. It made a tough time tougher. Yes, I know I should have talked about it. But, I didn't want to. I wanted to grovel. I wanted to stew. I wanted to plot. I wanted to do something about my weight that was bullshit proof. I tried to do as much of this thinking as possible away from home, but sometimes I couldn't help but to let it follow me through the door when I should have been paying attention to the others inside.

I knew my weaknesses and strengths. I tried gyms and fitness centers and couldn't make it fit my schedule. I wasn't going to realistically stick with a plan that was based on eating pre-packaged low-cal crap. I didn't want to sit in meetings, participating in Pity Parties and heaping false praise on strangers just to get the same in return. I had to start a regular workout regiment. But how? When? I got two little ones and a wife who is routinely stir crazy from them once I get home from work and often wasn't up to cooking right after one or both kids refused to go down for a nap - and I don't blame her.

It took me a few months to find those answers, research them, and plot a plan of attack. I didn't need New Year's Day for mental moxie and a phony resolution. I had that. Another frustrating piece of this puzzle. I just needed all the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place. And after Kole's 3rd birthday in June, my work schedule lightened up. The weekend after Kole's birthday was a little RV get-away that Kole, myself and my dad took to Lake Whitney. When I got back, the door was wide open for at least 6-8 weeks where my work was about as close to a stand-still as it is all year. Lots of down time, half-days and half-weeks. That's when the plan was going to be enacted.

On June 30, I stepped on a scale for the first time in a long time. I weighed 307 pounds. I really felt like it could have been more. I began a high-protein, low-carb/no-carb diet of less than 1000 calories per day. I drank at least one gallon of water throughout the day. After a couple of weeks, I began going for walks around the neighborhood. It was early July and the DFW area was in the midst of a record heat wave. The summer saw 70 days of at least 100 degrees, 40 of those days were consecutive and included the entire month of July. Many days clipped over 105. In the late afternoon, when the temperature was peaking - but the kids napping - is when I hit the pavement and began going on extended walks. I slowly increased my distance and time spent walking. Soon enough, I found myself walking more than four miles in relentless 106 degree heat without even a whisper of a breeze.

On August 5, just before Kathy and I's 6th Anniversary, I weighed 276. I had dropped 30 pounds in July alone. Down another 10 pounds in August. Then another 10 pounds by Karissa's 1st birthday on Sept. 22 - officially the 50 pound mark, in just under three months. I've lost another 10 since then, while enjoying the holidays and all the solid and liquid treats that come along with it. I've attempted to at least maintain my weight, if not losing, and have done so. I'll hit January 1st at least 60 pounds lighter than I was on July 1st and a full 10 fewer inches around my belly.

Work was cranked up and busy by September, but I was walking - and occasionally jogging - after the kids went to bed, around 8:30. I discovered podcasts, and found some programs I actually enjoyed listening to, as opposed to the same 16 songs on shuffle every day. I challenged myself: Jog all the way to that light pole, then walk no further than that corner before jogging again for at least a 60-Mississippi count.

I stayed firm to my calorie intake and portions. Kathy and the kids deserve credit for tolerating me. Most nights, I ate something different than the rest of them. Overall, they were good sports and helped make my journey tolerable. Every night as Kole got in his PJs, I got in my walking shoes and earbuds. More recently, a jacket and hat and gloves join the mix. "Daddy go for a walk" he'll say.

Yep. Going for a walk. Walking away from an early grave. I've attached some before-and-after photos, but I'll end with two stats: In June, on a routine dental check-up, they nearly wouldn't clean my teeth because my blood pressure was 152/98. At last check, on Dec. 9, it was 118/72.

I have no New Year's resolution except to be a better husband and father and to enjoy life more now that I'm not toting around the 60 pounds I started the year with. I won't worry about busting a button on an XXL shirt, now that I'm loosely draped by my old XLs, plus some new Christmas ones. Although, by my birthday in February I do have a goal weight in mind. We'll see.

Karissa Update

Karissa went in for a 15-month checkup and a shot. She weighs 21.4 pounds, which is in the 25%, and is 32 inches long, which is 90%. So, in other words, 75% of American babies her age weigh more, while only 10% are longer. Tall and slender. I think she got the best of both of her parents' attributes. For now.

Verbally, she's a bit behind the curve. However, her coordination and much of her physical attributes are very advanced for her age.

She is healthy. She is happy. She does gymnastics on the sofa - she is now climbing on all the furniture and has a weird sense of when she's at the edge and about to fall off, and quickly self-corrects. She kicks and throws balls with enthusiasm, while Kole even now is still getting the hang of it. 2011 was an eventful year for her - four months of it spent in a cranial corrective helmet. Her other updated stat from the doctor visit is a 44.5 cm head circumference, which is 15%. She is long out of that head contraption, her hair is growing longer and more girlie, and she is the most beautiful little girl in the history of the world.

Christmas 2011: Santa is Here

I don't believe that Santa Claus is a lie. Santa Claus is part a fantasy, a vivid world of make believe, which is something that children do and handle very well. It's a wonderful part of childhood.

Kathy and I have different memories of Santa Claus as kids ourselves. I remember a handful of Christmases where I really wanted something, waking up in the morning, and seeing some or all of them around the fireplace. Cookies reduced to crumbles. Milk glass drained. A house that was bereft of toys and Christmas energy, after a night's sleep, had been transformed. I remember it as a magical, beneficial childhood experience.

With that, we played up Santa to the hilt with Kole this year. For three or four weeks leading up, St. Nick and an army of CIA-trained elves were watching with arms folded and a tapping foot making sure he was being nice, and was not too tolerable of naughty behavior. Not sure how much it helped, but it was a useful tool every now and then to straighten him up for a bit. Really, at 3-and-1/2, Kole still wasn't sure what he wanted for Christmas beyond "toys". We still have a challenge of rotating toys he currently has, since he quickly bores of them, plus he has access to all of Karissa's toys, which he gleefully takes ownership of.

Christmas festivities began two weeks ago with my mom's family at our house. Mom and Pa Gedy, aunt Doris, Kelley and Kelly and the girls were in from Midland, newlyweds Shanna and Paul, Ben and girlfriend Stephanie. I wish there was more of this event that I could write about. Again, I'll be writing at the end of the year about a large physical transformation I've gone under this year, losing 60-plus pounds. Suffice to say, I can count the number of spirited beverages I've had since July on both hands. I have become a lighweight. So, it didn't take too many Sangria wines to promptly knock me on my kiester. I was having a great time, then things got a little foggy and the next thing I know I was being led to bed. In hindsight, there's nothing more embarrassing or idiotic than not having control of oneself. It's really not that hard. So, I feel like a jackass after all of that, but we did have a great time together. Kole got to see his cousins Riley and Reagan, which happens few and far between now, and that's what I was happiest about. They are his only cousins, and unless a small miracle happens from Kathy's brother or sister, they will be his and Karissa's only cousins. I hope their relationship together is as strong and meaningful as Kelley and I had with our cousins growing up.

We had a Chinese gift exchange, but the more interesting gift was one we collectively gave to a family in need. At Thanksgiving, everyone gave at least $20. Some gave more. The hope was to give that gift collectively to a family who probably wouldn't have a Christmas otherwise. Through our church, I was led to Austin Elementary in Grand Prairie, where I was led to our helpful angel, school counselor Tonya. She extends herself every year beyond what the GPISD is paying her to know who in her school needs help, then brokers families like ours towards them. I did the leg work with Tonya in finding a family of four kids, ages 11 to 5, three girls and a boy the youngest. The dad works two jobs. Mom is out of the picture. An aunt watches the kids wile dad works a night job. Grandpa also lives at the home but apparently isn't much help. That's the sketch I was given. The kids are all qualified for a government assistance for breakfast and lunch at the school, and all are on the receiving end of an annual coat drive that our church orchestrates each year. This was a family we were looking for and we were able to provide them with $300 in Wal-Mart gift cards, to be spent on Christmas or whatever they needed. Kathy and the kids and I went up and met the family and the dad, Roy. Everyone was thankful. It's something I hope we do every year and I hope our kids learn to appreciate.

Next was Kathy's family on Christmas Eve - Grandma, Uncle Dewayne, Aunt Dawnell and her husband John. We again had everyone at our house, ordered pizzas, exchanged gifts and played Taboo. Mostly it was watching Kole and Karissa open and enjoy their gifts. Dwayne got Kole a Hot Wheels race track, one that electronically can keep the car going on a continuous loop, over and over and over again. At one point Kole was standing, holding his tinkle gear, doing a small dance. We asked him if he had to go pee-pee. Yes, he had to pee-pee. We told him to go pee-pee in the potty. He then expressed concern for leaving his racetrack and didn't want Karissa interfering with it. We assured him that we would keep Karissa away and he could safely vacate his track and not have to worry about it. Kole still showed hesitation at leaving. Then, he lowered his pants and underwear to his ankles, still standing at the track behind our sofa in the living room. He then inched away from the track, then turned it into a full sprint - or as fast as 3-year-old legs can go with pants and underwear shackling his ankles. He disappeared into the loo, reappeared 17 seconds later, and was on a desperate sprint back to the track - where he then, and only then, was able to safely pull up his pants and resume watching his Hot Wheels go round and around. Karissa was given great toys, but had just as much fun in the trash, walking through and throwing around the bits and scraps of wrapping and tissue paper.

Taboo was boys against girls and the boys won. We all had a great time together, but it was Christmas Eve and we had kept Kole from napping so he may crash on the night we were expecting Santa. It kinda backfired. Kole was punchy by 9:00, tired to the point of being a little delirious. We got Karissa off to bed and she was asleep in no time. God bless her. With all the challenges that Kole can be surrounding sleep, Karissa snoozes away almost on command and stays in good spirit through the day. Kole got then put out the chocolate chip cookies and milk for Santa. We moved our fireplace guard. Karissa can't have access to the fireplace or else she'll try to eat the lava rocks. So, we keep a piece of cardboard duct-taped to it. That was removed on Christmas eve night, and you could tell Kole was still a bit curious about everything but excited. I'll attach the picture here of our attempted pose of Kole and Karissa in front of Santa's cookies and milk. Karissa was not prepared to understand that cookies just sitting out on a table were not for her, and pushing them further away from her just to take a picture was as good as eating it in front of her face with a smile. She burst into tears and made several failed attempts to scramble onto the table for the cookies.

It took Kole a while to cooperate and fall asleep, but Kathy and I eventually got the presents out and set up. It's something I'll have a fond memory of. It's the first time I've been a part of something like this for our kids, and knowing my memories of Christmas, it was especially eventful. This year, Santa brought gifts for all of us. Wrapped Christmas presents weren't going to last very long under the tree any earlier because of Karissa's easy access and stealthy curiosity, so the tree was bare underneath up until this point. In fact, because of the same curious little girl, the tree itself sort of had a noticeable equator where the main decorations were in the northern hemisphere, while the southern hemisphere was sans the glass balls and decorative ornaments. Christmas will be an evolving process, but this year all the presents came on Christmas eve when the kids hit the hay, all wrapped.

On Christmas morning, we got Kole up around 7:15. He walked to the living room bleary-eyed and stumbling. But, he quickly caught the enormity of the scene. His first reaction was to look around, left and right for Santa. We had to inform him that Santa had already left and was now safely back at the North Pole. Kole continued to take in the sight of the presents. And his eyes kept going back to the plate of cookies, now a plate of crumbs and milk glass empty. He smiled and contained his bewilderment. It was official: Santa Claus is not some harmful lie. It's a great theater of make believe, it's traditional and cultural, and it's fun for the parents too. Soon enough, Karissa was awaken and she joined the fun. Presents were opened and a litter box of wrapping paper was quickly established in the floor. Later in the day we went to my dad and Kay's, where Alison and Mike and his kids plus Kay's niece and husband were there. A traditional turkey dinner was served and there was seemingly a desert for every side dish. The kids destroyed presents and we all had a great time. But that, like so much of Christmas Day, seems like a sad anticlimactic ending to at least a two, sometimes a three, often a four-week build up. I was fortunate that going back to Thanksgiving, I saw all of my family and first cousins with the exception of cousin Jason, a missionary doctor in the African country of Mali.

Without singling out any one gift, everyone got something they wanted for Christmas, and then some. We got and we gave, we spent quality time with loved ones, we snapped more pictures than a Japanese tourist, we helped a family in need, we watched "Elf" no fewer than 10 times (that's not sarcastic), we acknowledged Christmas as a celebration of Christ's birth, we ate like we were on vacation and some of us drank like a college kid at Spring Break. It was a very, very Merry Christmas for the Fletchers in 2011.

Giving Thanks

A holiday is a good cue to write about some of the things we are thankful for, even if it is a week late.

First and foremost, everyone is healthy and happy. Kole is tall enough to turn lights on and off. That's a head trip. Talk about a senior moment, one day I stood spinning like a top, hands on hips and eyebrows furled, trying to figure out how a hall light kept coming on that I had turned off. Karissa silently gets into mischief when she gets into any room so we try to keep all the doors closed. Kole comes and goes as he pleases and never remembers to shut a door. So, in the evening, I try to restrict activity around the front of the house where their bedrooms are by keeping the hallway lights off. And one day, magically, it kept coming on moments after I had turned it off. I finally stepped into the kitchen and listened closely to anything and finally saw and heard the light switch on. Yes, it was Kole. But, it wasn't with the aid of something to boost him up a step, quickly propped and disassembled in the flash of an eye. He just stood on his tip-toes flicking the switch either way.

It's a moment that quickly freezes in time, where physical, literal signs of our little boy growing up just randomly drop in. It is an ice cold can of beer on the back of your thigh - shocking you into into a dance and realizing that while life seemingly just sat in neutral and coasted along, our boy was growing and becoming wiser.

Karissa's walk has become a rapid trot. She is cutting molars, and all the discomfort that comes along with teething has been the theme of the past few months. Her babble is more babblish, but she still doesn't have an official first word - clearly identifying something with a word, be it Mommy, Daddy, cracker or milk. She is a great eater, but is slow as the Great Northern Glacier. She carefully chews and is easily distracted by the TV or her brother. She has figured out that if she presses down the spout of her sippy cup onto her little table it will create a small pool of milk that she can then splash and spread around. She is interested by books and TV - things draw and hold her attention more quickly than they did Kole. Like her brother, she's not a frequent cuddler. She'd rather squirm away and do her own thing than be held and loved by her mom or dad, but just often enough she will not only allow it but enjoy it.

Kathy has been challenged with motherhood duty of a 1-year-old and a potty-training 3-year-old. It depends on how you slice it up, I know, but I can't imagine that it gets any tougher than this year. She's been phenomenal. You wouldn't know that if you were conferenced into my calls home after 5:00 when I head home and she's on the verge of tears from either Kole being a brat or deciding that he's forgotten where the potty is and deciding to crap his big-boy underwear (or on the floor). She has decided recently that she will go back to work part-time in January, working at her old job. That will get her out of the house, around adults, put some cash in the bank, and hopefully allow everyone to see some new faces and refresh.

This has been a strange year for Dad. Very thankful for a great job that provides a great creative outlet and an environment around cool people. This has been a great year for sponsors, which I'm thankful for. Being in cable television, success of my shows are shown with sponsors, not ratings. SportClips Haircuts, On The Border, Woodmen Of The World and Texas Pete hot sauce have all stepped up to the plate, earning my Big 12 Showcase program a nice paycheck, which reflects well on the producer.

2011 has been a real up-and-down year, to say the least. I'll write more about this at the end of the year, but as it is I'm 60 pounds lighter than I was on July 1. I survived Thanksgiving - enjoying myself, splurging on pies and all, but still maintain a new mindset and eating structure.

I'm thankful my family is healthy, our faith is strong, and we still have a good roof over our heads.

Happy Halloween!

Kole's third and Karissa's second Halloween went off without a hitch. There were actually two events. Thanks to Aunt Dawnell, Kole went as a race car driver.
... while little Karissa, at 13 months old, went as a ladybug ...

First, there was an event at our church over the weekend. If you haven't noticed, many churches are moving away from "Halloween" as a holiday celebrating dark magic, evil and death. Instead opting for a "Fall Festival" where kids get to dress up, get candy, etc. No big fuss made about those who stick to Halloween, just a different title with the same rules and theme of season. It would be nice if Atheists could learn a thing or two - at least the one (sometimes, literally, ONE) who annually gets a bug up his ass about some public display of Christmas and can't let it go without ruining it for the entire town. But anyway - the non-protesting, culturally cohesive and tolerant Fall Festival: Games and a bounce house and things to do for costumed kids to earn candy ...Then came the big day, Monday - Halloween Night ...
They trick-or-treated together for a little more than half and hour. We have a lame neighborhood - lots of porch lights out. Karissa wasn't going to last on a big, extended neighborhood venture, so she and Mommy stayed back at the house to hand out candy then Kole and I took to the streets and made a pretty good haul. A very good haul for a 3-year-old race car driver who can barely keep a Big Wheel on the sidewalk without swaying into the grass.
Happy Halloween!

State Fair Day

We got a sitter for Karissa, figuring she would be confined to a stroller for most of the day, and figured that her napping or lack thereof may restrict or hamper our day - so Kathy, Kole and Daddy all headed for the State Fair of Texas today.
It was a lot of fun and Kole had a ball. He went on far more rides than we thought he would - spooked by none of them, although on some he did want one of us with him. That's not real easy, as you can see in the one photo where Daddy is riding along side him with knees in his chest. We walked a lot, we pet animals at the petting zoo, we ate corny dogs next to Big Tex and cotton candy as we strolled through the Midway playing games and riding rides.
We had a really, really good time. We got to the Fair around 9am and left around 2pm - and the final photo of the slideshow is of Kole completely wiped out in the back of the car. He was like that practically before we pulled out of the parking lot.
Great day!

Karissa In Motion

Time to play catch-up, and prove that while I've been a bad blogger, I have not been asleep at the wheel with the camera. Here are the highlights of Karissa crawling and walking for the very first time.

Karissa Turns 1

Unbelievable. It's hard to say the time flew by. Kathy and I agree that some segments flew by, some inched by at a snail's pace, in the first year of Karissa Reese Fletcher.
It was slow out of the gate. We both vividly remember her first days and weeks - born out of the chute with a sniffle, then came the surprise stay at Cook Children's Hospital in Fort Worth with a urinary tract infection. Her first month seemed like two.
Then we went forward. She has been a great sleeper - and her parents couldn't be more thankful. Not a great napper, but when the sun goes down she's ready to dream and snooze the night away.
It's hard not compare her with Kole, strictly as a personal parental experience. There's really no fun in them being the same or almost the same, but comparing and contrasting their similarities and differences is a fascinating thing. When an infant has no conscious ability to choose one way or another, the DNA takes over and puts one on a vastly different path than the last.
It's hard to chart 12 months of progress, but here are some things we know to be true here at the 1-year mark:
*Her life has not been reported, in detail, on this blog. Sad to say, there is a large Been-There, Done-That factor with her, whereas with Kole everything was breaking news that needed reporting. I think it's a compliment to Karissa. Her parents are living in the moment more now than we did with her brother, where issues were Googled and researched and talked about and debated and blogged about. Now, with her, life happens and we deal with it and we keep moving on. Obviously, I should better manage my time to write things down. But, the simple fact is, it's harder to write about the exploits of a 1-year-old now because now there is a 3-year-old who needs time and energy focused on him. Free time isn't what it was three years ago.
*One bold prediction: Karissa will be tough as nails. Especially in the past six months, her doting brother plays with her the way a cat plays with a maimed mouse. Problem is, she laughs 70% of the time. She blissfully doesn't know better until at some point Kole gets too rough and then she cries - briefly. Otherwise, she takes a rugged wrestling match with her brother a few times a day.
*She crawls with surprising speed and is now taking her first steps. She is topping out at about 5 or 6 steps at a time before her beefy legs give way. Sometimes, she'll just stop while standing upright and take a slow, leisurely squat into a sitting position, as if sinking in quicksand.
*She will now mock Patty-Cake, clapping and rolling her hands then throwing them in the air - often without prompting. That's the best. When she just sits there minding her own business and you suddenly notice her clap her hands, roll them up, then throw them in the air.
*Where behind her brother in physical milestones like crawling and walking, we are finding that she is very intellectually aware much earlier than Kole, especially with TV. To this day, Kole has an extremely short attention span with TV. He knows who all the major players are - Barney, Elmo, Chicka from the Sprout network - but after 5-10 minutes he becomes bored and moves on to other things. We've convinced ourselves that's a good thing, that he needs other stimulation that TV can't provide. Karissa, however, for several months now, can be captivated by video. She can watch for several minutes at a time. With a 58-inch HD wide-screen, she has plenty to take in and it's fascinating to watch her eyes dart around the screen, taking it all in. Sometimes it's to a fault. At breakfast she sometimes gets so distracted by the TV that we have to turn it off so she'll eat. Otherwise she'll just bob her head around any obstruction and keep watching. We're telling ourselves that she is much quicker to be engaged and interested in video, and that's a good thing.
*She smiles more than she cries, her babble and gargle has a sweetness that resonates into a melody that plays in my head all day, and she is quite the cuddler when she is exhausted.
*She gets hand-me-downs left and right; both in color-neutral sleeping jammies and with toys and books and stuffed animals. And she's taking it all in stride and is the happiest baby she could be.
*She shares almost everything with her big brother, including many of the toys she does get first-hand, but has little say in how infrequent said brother has access to those toys. She now even shares a bath with her brother. The way we figure it, Kole had a couple of years of independence and it didn't do him any favors, so - the heck with it - the girl better get used to sharing. Here in a few years there will be more need and urgency for privacy from Kole.

The next few milestones will come fast and frantic: walking, talking, teeth and eating habits. We'll look forward to other things drawing her attention, like books and games. As it is, the thing that most easily draws her attention is a green lit power button on our cable box. She gets drawn to it like a moth to a light bulb, and there she'll stand turning the TV on and off and on and off.

We'll be ready for anything. The first year had many surprises and, to the detriment of the blog, we mostly had a great time just soaking it in and living it. And where I regret not having chronicled many events, even the more comical and mundane day-to-day things, most of the significant milestones have been photographed or videoed and just not posted. It's kind of like getting your second new car. The first one you drive around to show off to all your friends and the people who you want to make jealous. Then, the second one, you just more quietly and modestly appreciate, and spend more time cleaning and buffing it in the garage than showing it off around town.

Somewhere in the next few months, once the milestone is behind us when we never really knew that it passed, Karissa will be a toddler and we will never be the parents of an itty-bitty little baby again. That bums us out, but now we are more poised to know how to appreciate these coming days ahead. I may not be rushing the photos or the stories over to the computer and the blog, but know that we are devouring the moment and savoring every morsel.

The 6th Anniversary

We celebrated our 6th year together this past Friday and did so by ditching the kids and skipping out of town. Grammy (my mom) came over and stayed for the weekend so Kathy and I headed out to Austin.

Once again, this was a budget vacation. Last year was Vegas in comped rooms with free flights from my step sister. This year we drove and stayed in a Marriott chain where I used my Reward points. I'm sitting on over 100,000 of those points and showed Kathy the 4-star properties they had for 20,000 points a night - she settled on the Renaissance in Austin's Arboretum. Once the reservation was made, I brown-nosed one of the reservation managers - I name-dropped, I threw around the Fox Sports title, I big-timed her with everything I had. I told her she could have the balance of my remaining Reward points - I just wanted an upgrade to the Presidential Suite. It was essentially a 1,500 square foot apartment. But, I had to settle for a king suite upgrade - no charge, no points. Awesome!

We drove down Friday by noon - taking Kathy to lunch at one of my old favorite Waco haunts, Buzzard Billy's on the Brazos River. We got to Austin by 2:30, checked into our room and indeed it was a corner-pocket suite on the 8th floor with great views of the city, and far more room than we needed. We had only been in the room a half-hour when a knock at the door came. Room service.

Champagne and chocolate covered strawberries, and a thoughtful letter from my hotel email buddy congratulating us on our anniversary. Now, I need chocolate covered strawberries like I need a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts covered with bacon buttercream icing. And to me, champagne is almost like that V8 tomato drink - it's not that I despise it so much that I'll refuse to drink it, but I can think of 88 things I'd rather drink before I settle on that. But, when it's free, and just enough for two glasses - bring it on. It was a great start to the weekend.

We went on to go out for a pre-dinner cocktail then had a phenomenal meal at Chez Zee (French pronunciation, shay-ZEE). I made an online reservation and it had an area for "any additional comments or requests" and I mentioned that it was our anniversary - so, we got one more pat on the back upon arriving ...

The food was incredible, the dessert was something to shed a tear over, but really this was a night to have to our own. No dinner to have to rush through in order to pick up the kids from someone watching them, or relieve a sitter at home. The night had a full tank of gas and could go as long as the road allowed. We had a great time being together, both talking and sitting in comfortable silence. Yes, we naturally wondered what was going on with the kids, we talked about them, we talked in our mock Kole voice - repeating everything over and over like a broken record, getting his tenses all wrong (if he wants his shoes on he'll say "Put your shoes on" to you, since that's what he hears us say to him). There was another baby a few tables from us, and it had Kathy's eye for several minutes. But, it was a really nice evening together - what one should have been. Back at the hotel, we even took a good soak in the hot tub. We were chatted up by, of all people, a 13 and 16 year old from Flower Mound. But, even that was entertaining. It was almost like a pop quiz on our lives after six years together. I think the question that stood out the most was being asked "So - do you guys like to party?" I forget which one of us answered, but the answer was - it's Friday night in Austin and we're here in a hot tub with you guys, not on 6th Street. What do you think?

I do like to party, but I also like having a night with my lady that doesn't involve fighting for parking spots, fighting crowds for a drink, walking the streets when the temperature is still in the high 90s well past 10pm, then nursing a headache the next morning. I'll pass, thank you. There's something to be said for just laying low and squeezing my lady close.

The next day we did some obligatory sight seeing at the state capitol, where the squirrels are about as visitor friendly as a petting zoo goat.

We also went to the Briscoe Center for American History at the University of Texas, attached next to the LBJ Library. We tried to get to the bottom of whether Kathy's family is connected to Alamo war hero and former Republic of Texas president, Ed Burleson. Kathy's grandmother was born Ora Jane Burleson, and the connection had never been officially documented. So, we poked around to see what we could find. Currently, we know enough about Ed the Alamo guy to work with, now we really just need more info on Kathy's family from her mother's Burleson side.

We eventually ended up taking a road trip west near Marble Falls, actually a little town called Spicewood, home of Flat Creek Winery & Vinyard. We took a wine profiling class to learn why we like or don't like certain wines. Then, at the same place, they served a big dinner from a well-known chef with wine pairings.
The wine profiling class wasn't everything we thought it would be - not that we had a lot of preconceived notions - but it was still interesting. An expert French wine maker was in town, apparently friends with the owner of Flat Creek, and it was obvious that the man was an encyclopedia of knowledge. He actually has a degree in wine making from Universite' Dijon in France. Unfortunately, English was a distant second language and not everything he said was clear. His wife picked up where he couldn't fill in. We learned many things about the profile of wine. I don't think we're more of a wine snob, but - for example - if a friend had a glass of wine and told us what they do and don't like about it, I fell confident I could go out and find a wine that would fit their preference profile, using five key markers: Color, hints/hues, intensity of the nose, vivacity of taste (dry to sweet) and alcohol sensation on the palate (light to hot). We tasted 7 different wines. The room that started out stale and stiff ended up being loose and giggly when it was all done. Everyone at least had a good time. It was impressive watching a French wine master at work - watching how he sips wine and slurps and gargles it. How he stands, pensive and focused, one hand in a pocket and the other continuing to swirl the wine in the glass - scowling at it held up to sunlight while his mouth attempts to break it down and analyze its contents down to the molecule. It felt good to connect with his tastebuds, say if we were to determine whether the Syrah had a vivacity that was Fresh/Dry/Lively, or Round, or Mellow, or Sweet - as if they're all on a linear scale of 1 to 10. I thought it was fresh and dry (actually, my favorite of the Flat Creek line) and it was quite rewarding to have the master back it up, informing the class that it was indeed dry and fresh.
Then came the wine-paired dinner. Great time with great people at our table. The chef came out before each course to explain it - looking sharp in the white chef's coat, smiling and making wise-cracks, going along like a game show host, while it's obvious that he's short of breath and his brow wiped of sweat just before heading out. It's a cool act knowing what sort of chaos he's controlling behind the scenes. The food was really incredible and the wine was great. Our table had a 50-ish married couple, then a 50-ish non-married couple along with their friend who is coming off a big break-up. The only one with kids was the woman coming off the big break-up - her kids are 30 and 27. So, we kind of felt like the kids sitting at the adult table. Moreover, it's wierd to sit with a table full of adults and not talk about our kids. It just never came up. One of the guys was a vice president of a company and he was obviously doing well. Another guy was the County Commissioner of Angelina County (where Lufkin is), his name is Scott Cooper. Before being elected into public office he was a cameraman for 18 years at KTRE-TV in Lufkin-Nacogdoches, Channel 9, which I remember well from my days at Stephen F. Austin St. University. So, it was cool having a connection with someone and it's not like we talked shop to a point where I could have got sick of it.

It was a cool night. A great date night - again, without the catch of having to watch the clock and worry about the kids. It was a cool way to cap off the weekend. Well after dinner, there were only two tables remaining - the one with the owners and their guests from France and a few other personal friends - then our table. The guy who was the VP bought another bottle of wine for us to share as a night cap for a few more laughs.

We got home to a good report card from my mom on the kids. They were angels, apparently, and it was great seeing them. It was good being away and it was really good to miss Kole and Karissa. It was good spending 60 consecutive hours together with Kathy uninterrupted by anything or anyone we didn't want. Mission accomplished.

Funny is Funny

Don't think that Karissa, in all her innocence at 10 months of age, somehow learned this from her father. One day, actually more than a couple of weeks ago. Then, her brother was all too happy to join in. The video speaks for itself.

First Bath Together

Some things don't need a whole lot of descriptive dialogue. This is one of those. The video speaks for itself. Karissa is about to the point where she's outgrown a bath in the kitchen sink, and as it turns out - she loves the water just as much as her brother.



... And The Shiner
You may or may not be able to notice in the video a new shiner on Kole's eye. If not, I'll put the accompanying photo. On Monday, Kole got a little too frisky, which he is prone to do, and fell running for the back door - falling face-first into our Plantation shutters we have there. I'll go ahead and add one additional photo - the shutter that was also on the losing end of Kole's fall. He gave a good, hearty, full-throated cry, but it wasn't long before he was back up and shaking it off. A nice blue egg began quickly forming on the side of his eye. Another one of those It could have been worse scenarios, so we feel fortunate that this was the extent of the damage.

Stand For Something

This is it. This is the actual moment. Today at 1:55 pm, Karissa made her first successful solo stand upright. She's been grabbing onto things and getting up on her knees for a couple of weeks now. But today, after church, as Kat and I were essentially minding our own business knowing that she was in a little safe play area in the back of our living room, we first noticed her taking the assumed position with hands on the toy box. Without watching every moment, we turned our attention elsewhere. A few moments later we check on her and - boom - there she was, standing up.
Her first official pull-up comes at the age of 9 months, 18 days.
Kole's first pull-up was at 8 months, 24 days.
But, Karissa pulled another milestone of sorts - two on the same day. She's now cutting two more teeth. The two teeth on either side of her bottom two front teeth began poking through today. It's more than a relief to see, since Karissa has been going through some fairly uncharacteristic stuff the past week or two. One day she barely ate a thing, barely taking 10 ounces of formula through the day - though she does now also eat some solids, cereal, etc.
Still, an exciting twist to a pretty average day.

Taking a Stand and a Major Scare

Karissa is very close to pulling herself up on her own. If given a hand up on something to balance her weight, she normally can hold herself up for close to a minute before her little legs get wobbly and give way.
She now crawls with great ease, but it may not be what you'd call a true crawl on hands and knees. Her method is to outstretch her right arm, then with her grounded forearm as an anchor thrust herself forward. Her left arm is really a maimed flipper in this process, providing more balance than anything.
We have her first official crawl on video. I'm waiting to get her progression on tape in different intervals, then post it once she's really scooting along, to show the true evolution of her crawl.
Last night, Sunday, July 3, was an event I'll never forget. A bold statement, I know, as many episodes of the kids tend to disappear before too long. But not last night.
Kathy was putting Kole to bed and I was standing Karissa on my lap, which she loves to do. She loves being upright. I had had here there for more than 10 minutes, and had spent some good time with her doing that as we watched "True Grit" last night. But as Kathy was reading Kole a story in bed, I put Karissa down to wander around for a little bit and maybe tire out so she can take her last bottle and go to bed herself.
I heard her cough and looked down just quick enough to see that her face was red. Her mouth was open and she appeared as if she wanted to cough again but couldn't. I reached over quickly and grabbed her and put her on my lap. She provided a quick hack but her face was still beet red and a tear was rolling down a cheek. I put a finger in her mouth and swabbed across and made a sweep back and forth and felt nothing. Her face was still red and she didn't appear to be breathing.
I've had time to think about this. I keep rewinding my brain DVR over and over, replaying and pausing the events. I've had time to digest the entirety of the event, which will obviously have a happy ending. But at that moment, after swiping a finger through Karissa's mouth and finding nothing foreign, and still seeing her red and breathless - it was the most frightened, scared for my life, and freaked out I have ever been. Ever.
I am 40 years old and to my knowledge I have never broken a bone in my body. The few car bang-ups I've been a part of have never produced one drop of blood. I had a knife pulled on me as a threat, but from a distance. I had Malaria when I was 11 years old, but I was medically ignorant and did not know any significance of what was going on. I had chills and fever but never knew to be scared for my life. In hindsight, my life was never in danger.

And in a couple of eye-blink moments of Sunday I did fear for my life. Not just Karissa's life - she is my life, and I was worried stiff. So stiff - I choked, the metaphoric way. Something I didn't think I was capable of. If given the chance to strum the strings of my ego and play a song, it would include 20 years worth of making quick, decisive decisions, acting mostly on instinct and careful preparation and rough-sketched anticipation with accuracy that ranks in the narrow, front slopes of the bell curve. Making television production of sports look easy; spontaneous and unpredictable moments seem as if they were following a script, a camera always in the right place, pointing the right way.
But with the red-faced Karissa on my lap and after ruling out an impediment in her mouth, I freaked out. I swear I would have forgotten the number to call 911. Completely caught off guard and allowing Panic to knock over all the cool emotion characters in the room of my brain, I did the only sensible thing a person does with Panic at the helm of the ship. I screamed like a mental patient for Kathy. If I had kept my cool, I would have called for her in a raised voice - she was in another room on the other end of the house - but without fear in my voice that could get Kole concerned or freaked out.
No dice. I forget precisely what I said but I shouted for Kathy twice to come here NOW! Not a raised voice, but a shout dripping with panic.
Kathy appeared in the living room almost instantly. I had Karissa holding her like a football, my left hand holding up her chest as she was leaning over facing the floor - figuring that something could be jarred free from her throat or mouth and fall out. I gave some firm pats on the back, and I say pats because that's all I meant them to be. If there were a surveillance camera where I could truly rewind the DVR, I'm sure any reasonable person would not describe it as a "pat", but more of a pounding.
My heart was beating out of my chest as I handed her to Kathy - for no real reason except that maybe she had a better idea than me of what to do.
Kathy took Karissa and by the time she was seated I could see that Karissa was obviously breathing - maybe she had been while I had her and couldn't see to tell - she was moving her mouth, she was swallowing, she was crying. There were at least 20 more seconds of tension to see what might be the issue. Just a couple of days previous, Karissa quite casually spit up, if not a full vomit, and there was some sort of piece of paper in it. She didn't seem at all upset by it, but it was a lot of spit-up/vomit that got all over her. It was a convenient lesson that there are small innocuous things all over the floor that she may put in her mouth.
This episode, in the end, produced absolutely nothing ... besides two extremely nervous parents and a heart rate for the father that is close to getting back to normal. We watched her carefully for the next few minutes, but it appeared to be nothing. She either swallowed whatever had been an obstruction, or perhaps she just gagged on her own saliva or another toy. All she had around her before this started was a big stuffed animal. There were no other little toys or Legos or anything around. I can't think of what it could have been. But, however it happened, it passed. Karissa's color turned normal. Kathy eventually allowed herself to cool off.
What do I say now - False alarm?
It didn't feel like it. That was Level 10 panic. It's disappointing I didn't pass it like I would have liked to. But it's a relief that it wasn't anything beyond a really big scare.

3 Years / 9 Months

Kole and Karissa had a joint doctor's appointment yesterday. It was Kole's 3-year check-up and Karissa's 9-month. Here's the stats:
Kole
Weight: 34 pounds (75%)
Height: 39.5 inches (90%) this was his very first vertical measurement. All others had been done laying down, head to heal.
Karissa
Weight: 18 pounds, 12 ounces (85%)
Length: 28.75 inches (50%)
Head: 43.5 cm (30%)

Obviously, Kole is still ahead of the game on the growth chart, in comparison with other boys his same age in the US. Karissa is pretty much average, though she's slightly on the full-figured side. Her head measures 43.5 centimeters around, which puts her in the 30% range - meaning 70% of US girls her same age have a larger head.

This is the result of her misshapen head that we got the helmet to help correct. That experiment is now over. A day before her 9-month check-up, Karissa had her final visit with Cranial Technologies where final castings and pictures were taken. The first shot really isn't to show much of her head shape changing, but to show how much SHE changed in such a short time. Such a noticeable addition of darker hair. And she's able to hold her head up a little better than she did when she was just a 6-month old. They had to wet her hair down to better show the shape of the skull, so her little fluffy chick feathers aren't prominent here.
The most telling shot of how her head changed the most is the bird's-eye shot - but really, the picture doesn't do the change justice. It's more of a thing you had to see for yourself to really know the difference. Photos are limited to just one dimension, but if you really had a good study of the top of Karissa's head before and after, the difference is pretty significant.

As noted above, her head circumference is 43.5 centimeters, which is on the smaller side for her age. But as she grows older her head will fill out - as will her hair, and no one will know a lick of difference anyways.
What's more important is that she's totally, 100% healthy and happy. She makes little teepees on her hands and feet - not quite crawling, and not quite standing up, but she definitely wants to be upright even if it's only her butt sticking up in the air. She has event shown the ability to grab hold of the coffee table or a chair leg or crib rail and attempt to pull herself up.
She is slowly getting more gabby, and her front four teeth shine when she giggles. She cuddles. She sees you from across the room and smiles and flaps her arms. She was such an unexpected surprise, I guess it was 18 months ago when we were first clued in to her arrival, but she is such an integral and special part of our lives. Kole is the squeaky wheel that gets the majority of the grease. He is 3 and needs attention and engaging most of the time. And then there's the little princess, quietly nibbling on a toy, disinterested in the chaos her brother is stirring up, waiting to lock eyes and acknowledge that she is content.
She is a joy to be around.

Another Birthday Wish

Yeah, Daddy has some contacts here and there. Big thanks to the guys at GoodDay, the morning show on Fox 4 for squeezing us in on very short notice.Needless to say - Kole was impressed. He kept asking his Mommy to watch it over and over.

Three Years Old

Three years after blessing us with a miracle after a bloodshot-eyed all-nighter of a birth (born at 2:46am, after arriving at the hospital at 7:30am the previous morning), there he is putting his own clothes on, going potty with no prompting by his parents, and being able to clearly discuss his feat, and request his prizes for producing the particular leavings.
He walks in with sandals on his feet, which he has put on himself (velcro straps). But even when the shoes are on the wrong feet, one of us instinctively says "oops - you put them on the wrong feet, you need to switch them around", which is our version of thinking out loud just before going up to do the parental task ourselves; but he beats us to the punch and sits on the floor and starts taking the shoes off, swapping them and putting them back on the proper feet. It takes a few minutes to register - He knew exactly what we said and what we were talking about. This is hardly routine, or something we practice talking about. He just ... knew.
And that's where we're at as he turns three years old. Every day, seemingly, Did we teach him that? Where did he learn that? Did you see that - how he actually furled a brow and went "hmmmm" to think about what he wanted before he spoke? Too many examples to count and cite. As we watch his little sister take on solid foods and begin crawling, we can't help but look at Kole and wonder, wasn't it just a few weeks a go we were going through this with him?
Maybe that's the creepiest part. With Karissa around so young, we still have around so many of the things that Kole once used, reminding us of his younger days.
Speaking of Karissa, we're starting to learn some differences between one child and another. Where Karissa speaks and ooohs and aahhs when it's absolutely necessary, her big brother was a carnival of sounds and yells by the same age. By the way he's turned out, we think and hope that Karissa will turn out to be on the quiet side.
No matter where we go, some stranger remarks at how cute he is in a way that normally carries some level of amazement or raised voice that seems genuine and sincere, not just a courtesy conversational ice-breaker. Most complimented: his big, deep brown eyes, his thick and silky hair, and a shy smile that can melt the heart of an ax murderer. We don't need to hear from anyone else to believe it, but it's gratifying to hear.

His vocabulary is very developed and he is putting more and more complete thoughts and sentences together. He is becoming more independent, and that includes treating his Timeout corner like a cop treats a cozy counter stool in a doughnut shop. It's not quite punishment, but he does have a very good idea of what is good behavior and what is unacceptable behavior. He's normally very good, but sometimes he's a handful for Kathy in the middle of the day. That's unfortunate, and I hope it's just a Terrible Two phase he quickly shakes off.
He even knows our real names now, and will often identify pictures by pointing to us as Keith and Kathy. That's strange. He does that with a generous giggle each time.
He is helpful, and wants to help, and he is very polite. He says "thank you" without prompting and is getting better with "please". He plays well with other kids, but occasionally we've got reports from his school that he has hit a classmate, or maybe taken a swat that wasn't necessarily mean-spirited. He'll sometimes do the same with Karissa, play a little more rough than we'd like. He hasn't been exposed to violent movies or video games, or Marilyn Manson music, or Tea Party websites that use crosshairs as markers. We'd like to blame it on something, but can't seem to nail down to anything besides maybe mockery of kids roughhousing he sees on playgrounds. Maybe it's just good ole Alpha caveman DNA combined with Terrible Twos.

He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and on occasion, has devoured two whole sandwiches in a sitting. His favorite is probably mac-n-cheese, as he can look like a 4th of July hot dog eating contestant when a bowl of it is set in front of him, barely coming up for a breath between bites. However, if he has a big blob of ketchup for dipping, he'll likely eat chicken fried muskrat or his own shoestrings. He likes his morning cereal and loves picking his favorite color of bowl - normally orange. We don't know if orange is officially his favorite color right now, or if he just loves saying the word ("oh-WEENJ"). He loves apple juice and playing outside no matter how hot it is. He loves climbing on things. If it's as tall as he is and he can get a good grip on it, he'll be on top of it in no time.

Today, the day of his birthday itself, Kathy was at a garage sale with Kelley and her friend Donna, selling off the remnants of Kole and Karissa's infant-hood. We even sold the Papasan and swing. It's weird, letting all that stuff go - but there's a certain symmetry to it happening as we celebrate Kole's third birthday as he pees and poops in the potty. Now sometimes not even in the training potty, but up on a stool whizzing away in the main throne. But, a milestone torch is being passed, we do not have newborns in this house and will never again, short of a freak miracle.
We went to Costco today to get his birthday cake. With Kathy away, I took Kole and Karissa and threw them in a cart. Along the way a worker there, an elderly black woman, asked who's birthday it is. I said it was Kole's. She then broke into the 'Happy Birthday To You' song. Kole was almost embarrassed but obviously enjoyed the attention. However, sitting two inches to his left was his little sister - who saw this scraggly old woman (with a hair net, no less, as she was one of those people serving samples) suddenly 4 feet from her, and Karissa immediately furled her bottom lip and began a howling cry. The worker never broke verse from the song. But when she was finished I consoled my little girl and she quickly cooled off.
Later, Paw Paw and Grams (my dad and step mom) plus Grandma (Kathy's mom), Uncle Duane (Kathy's bro) and Aunt Dawnell (Kathy's sister) came over with gifts and had cake. Kole saw me light the candles and immediately ran up and tried to blow them out. We all blurted out something for him to stop, and he quickly gave a pouting look like he was in trouble. But, we calmed him down, sang Happy Birthday properly, and he finally was able to blow out the candles (with some assist by Mom) and have cake.

He can be a handful. He is 100% boy, in all its inelegance. His sheer energy and inability to either understand direction or obey direction can upset his mother to a point where it then upsets his father. Maybe that's why they're called Terrible Twos. But, the language barriers are falling. Communication is becoming a two-way street with fewer obstructions and pot holes. He will become more independent. The books and magazines say he is finding and challenging his boundaries and authority. This is all very routine and predictable behavior. We hope that's all it is.
But, at the end of the day, when I lay him down to sleep, I can stare at his eyes and see a very kind, innocent, loving soul. Even when they're shut and playing dreams for his slumbering mind, I still sit and stare in wonder that is my flesh and blood recreated.
If anything many periods of the first three years went by too fast. We couldn't wait till he could start sleeping through the night; then it just seemed like we had good reason to want to speed up to the next milestone - crawling, cutting teeth, walking, saying "I love you" without prompting or in volley to your initial "I love you". Now I just wish the next three years would crawl by slower than his first elbow-tugging attempts at crawling itself.

We Haven't Forgotten

Despite her daddy-blogger's ability to keep up and write about it, Karissa continues to blossom and sprout and develop into a beautiful baby. She is sitting up on her own. She is very close to crawling. She now sits on her own in a high chair and nibbles on finger foods, and has begun other infant solids.

Her head continues to improve and grow into its proper shape and by her next appointment (she has a check-up and band adjustment every two weeks) they may be able to give us a firm time frame on how much longer she may need to wear it. Her head essentially has its proper form now. But, kind of like wearing a retainer after you get braces off your teeth, it essentially holds the improvements in place to "set". So, she'll be wearing it for at least a few more weeks. Having seen the back of her head, we are officially validated and gratified that we did the right thing. She may not think to thank us later in life, but it was definitely worth it to do this now.
Karissa continues to ramp up her cooing and communicating with her eyes and expressions. She is gaining strenth in her legs, hopping in her Jumperoo and sitting up while in her walker on the kitchen floor (though still a ways from walking even with the aid of rollers).

One thing we have noticed about Karissa's new independence and rolling on the ground is that she is extremely sensitive to bumps into furniture. A slight bump of the head or a swift accidental kick of the firm, hard coffee table will regularly get a quick display of tears. But, it does go fast. We're still at the point where we think she's at her cutest when she cries, so when we know that she's not really hurt we enjoy her little bouts of conversation.

It's easy to feel bad that Karissa's early life hasn't been blogged in micro-detail the way her brother was. It's not because she is any less interesting or that we're any less proud or impressed by her developments. I think we honestly got snared in the trap of being content parents who have been-there, done-that, who can just sit and enjoy the moment instead of being the wide-eyed parents who feel compelled to write an essay about every little detail. Sort of like riding a roller coaster the second time around. It's no less fun as the first time, and in fact a little easier to enjoy the ride.

With Kole being rambunctious and full of life, if not bratty and in need of owning all the attention in the room, free time is not what it once was with just one little baby under the roof. So, the blogging has suffered.
In the end - all is good. Kole's potty training has taken a noticeable lull, and production in the potty is few and far between. He has now specialized in repeating everything he hears. Not just mocking, but repeating, in attempted verbatim, everything he has heard. You don't have to be talking to him. You could be talking on the phone or we could be talking to each other. What he hears - he repeats. It's helped clean up any lingering salty language around here - leaving us to spell more.

Karissa's New Look (for a while)

Before a parent becomes a parent, they most likely are very judgemental spectators of other parents, who ...
*can't imagine why someone just can't keep their kid quiet in a restaurant.
*wonder what's so hard about making a kid eat vegetables.
*would never let a kid talk back to them.
... etc.

At some point, Kathy and I have probably made the same observations. It happens. It's part of being young and full of all the answers.

Sometimes the judgementalism doesn't stop, even after people become parents.

'Why do parents let their kids' head get all out of shape to the point where they have to wear one of those helmets?'

Well, now, even if we don't have all the solutions, we damn sure know the answers to the questions.
*Your version and our version of quiet aren't nearly the same. He seems pretty darned quiet and well behaved to us.
*Once a kid gets the taste of candy and mac-n-cheese, then spinach and green beans become a bigger challenge. It was for me and every kid I ever knew, every kid I know now, and mine too.
*Yes, my kid may talk back now where you can here it, but there are consequences paid when you're not around.
*Babies, true infant babies, aren't as easily molded and cooperative as the books and TV specials make it out to seem. As we've learned, breast feeding is far from automatic. Neither is tummy sleeping.

Karissa was essentially born in to a family of hacking, sniffling and sneezing. On September 22, 2010, the Fletcher house was going through a box of Kleenex about every other day. She quickly acquired every sniffle we had to offer. I can still picture her as a fresh-out-of-the-chute infant gurgling phlegm and snorting snot while trying to feed. For naps and sleep, if put on her tummy, she could barely breathe well enough to cry her heart out. The sound of wailing and gurgling was almost unbearable. She was not going to be a tummy sleeper. So on her back she went. It didn't take long for her to develop a sort of pattern of sleeping with her head tilted to the right.

Over time, with her skull still soft and easily maleable, it slowly over time began showing subtle signs of becoming misshapen. If you're looking at her face-forward there's really no way to tell. She's always taken a great picure. But, if she were sitting up, like in a Bumbo seat or her Jumperoo, and you were to take an over-head look, a bird's-eye view, you could see how the back-right of her head was more flat. And since for every action there is a reaction, her front-left is beginning a slight jut forward. It is ever so subtle. But if you look the right way it's clearly obvious. So, we recently took her to Cranial Technologies and got her fitted for a a Doc Band, more commonly referred to and seen as a helmet.

The band/helmet was ready today and she finally has it on. It's a different look, but because she has it so young (just shy of 7 months) she should only have to wear it a shorter amount of time. The longer we waited, the firmer her skull would become and the longer it would be to correct. So, as it is, this should be about a three month project. She's scheduled to be done with it by July if all goes well.

In the end, this is more cosmetic than a matter of necessity. If she did not have the helmet it would not affect the growth of her brain, her capacity to learn or thing, etc. She'd just have a funky looking head when she got older - which would mostly be invisible and covered by hair. But, if she got her hair wet or wanted to put her hair up in a ponytail, it the misshapen back of her head would be obvious. It's something that's worth correcting and we wanted to jump on the opportunity as young as possible. So, here we are. Once things correct and she gets the helmet off, she can go back to laying on her back, head turned to the right - just like the photo above; arms out, legs out, as if she were dropped from the ceiling and went splat! on the matress.

It's more jarring for other people to see who don't know what it is than it is for her or us. It's no more a sign of faulty parenting than is Kole still falling short of our potty training goals at the present. Sometimes kids just do whatever they're going to do, and it's not out of parental defiance. This is a cosmetic fix. She'll thank us for it later, once she old enough to notice someone with an unfixed flattened head. It's about three months. She'll never remember any of this. It's the right thing to do.