Karissa's New Look (for a while)

Before a parent becomes a parent, they most likely are very judgemental spectators of other parents, who ...
*can't imagine why someone just can't keep their kid quiet in a restaurant.
*wonder what's so hard about making a kid eat vegetables.
*would never let a kid talk back to them.
... etc.

At some point, Kathy and I have probably made the same observations. It happens. It's part of being young and full of all the answers.

Sometimes the judgementalism doesn't stop, even after people become parents.

'Why do parents let their kids' head get all out of shape to the point where they have to wear one of those helmets?'

Well, now, even if we don't have all the solutions, we damn sure know the answers to the questions.
*Your version and our version of quiet aren't nearly the same. He seems pretty darned quiet and well behaved to us.
*Once a kid gets the taste of candy and mac-n-cheese, then spinach and green beans become a bigger challenge. It was for me and every kid I ever knew, every kid I know now, and mine too.
*Yes, my kid may talk back now where you can here it, but there are consequences paid when you're not around.
*Babies, true infant babies, aren't as easily molded and cooperative as the books and TV specials make it out to seem. As we've learned, breast feeding is far from automatic. Neither is tummy sleeping.

Karissa was essentially born in to a family of hacking, sniffling and sneezing. On September 22, 2010, the Fletcher house was going through a box of Kleenex about every other day. She quickly acquired every sniffle we had to offer. I can still picture her as a fresh-out-of-the-chute infant gurgling phlegm and snorting snot while trying to feed. For naps and sleep, if put on her tummy, she could barely breathe well enough to cry her heart out. The sound of wailing and gurgling was almost unbearable. She was not going to be a tummy sleeper. So on her back she went. It didn't take long for her to develop a sort of pattern of sleeping with her head tilted to the right.

Over time, with her skull still soft and easily maleable, it slowly over time began showing subtle signs of becoming misshapen. If you're looking at her face-forward there's really no way to tell. She's always taken a great picure. But, if she were sitting up, like in a Bumbo seat or her Jumperoo, and you were to take an over-head look, a bird's-eye view, you could see how the back-right of her head was more flat. And since for every action there is a reaction, her front-left is beginning a slight jut forward. It is ever so subtle. But if you look the right way it's clearly obvious. So, we recently took her to Cranial Technologies and got her fitted for a a Doc Band, more commonly referred to and seen as a helmet.

The band/helmet was ready today and she finally has it on. It's a different look, but because she has it so young (just shy of 7 months) she should only have to wear it a shorter amount of time. The longer we waited, the firmer her skull would become and the longer it would be to correct. So, as it is, this should be about a three month project. She's scheduled to be done with it by July if all goes well.

In the end, this is more cosmetic than a matter of necessity. If she did not have the helmet it would not affect the growth of her brain, her capacity to learn or thing, etc. She'd just have a funky looking head when she got older - which would mostly be invisible and covered by hair. But, if she got her hair wet or wanted to put her hair up in a ponytail, it the misshapen back of her head would be obvious. It's something that's worth correcting and we wanted to jump on the opportunity as young as possible. So, here we are. Once things correct and she gets the helmet off, she can go back to laying on her back, head turned to the right - just like the photo above; arms out, legs out, as if she were dropped from the ceiling and went splat! on the matress.

It's more jarring for other people to see who don't know what it is than it is for her or us. It's no more a sign of faulty parenting than is Kole still falling short of our potty training goals at the present. Sometimes kids just do whatever they're going to do, and it's not out of parental defiance. This is a cosmetic fix. She'll thank us for it later, once she old enough to notice someone with an unfixed flattened head. It's about three months. She'll never remember any of this. It's the right thing to do.

And Then .. He Found His Groove

So, that last post, posted just about 24 hours ago, would make it seem as if our oldest child has no showmanship. No moxie. No cajones.

Today, Kathy and I made a trek to Stephenville for a cousin of Kathy's, Stephen, getting married to Taylor - both are students at Tarleton State U. in Stephenville. Small wedding at a church that looks like it wouldn't last 5 seconds if an F1 tornado were within 100 yards of it. The reception was at a nearby VFW hall. Very old school for a couple 20 and 21 years of age, very cool, very quaint and wonderful. At the reception, the college kids were ready to get their groove on ... and Kole was ready to go step for step with them


Yesterday he was in full catatonic freeze at his school play. Today, he had the run of the dance floor. Yesterday it seemed as if a room full of strangers was the last place he wanted to be. Tonight, without spotlights and a sea of hungry eyes waiting for a crumb to nibble on, he gleefully danced without fear or shame and he was scanning the room to make sure everyone was at full attention of his shenanigans.

The cool thing is, for us, it's not like he came out of a shell. Tonight he was being Kole. Last night was the apparition. He was also a gentleman during the service, mostly quiet, and definitely the star toddler of the night. One in the row in front of us ended up underneath the chairs. The others were ring-bearers and flower girls caught in a spot they did not want to be in. After the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their march, a distinctive cry and howl was coming from the fourier. When the doors flew open a teenaged usher with a beaten-down look on his face was pulling a RadioFlyer wagon painted entirely white, with lace and flowers and billowy things all around it. In the wagon were a toddler-aged flower girl and ring bearer ... and they wanted NOTHING to do with the scene they found themselves in. The girl was crying hysterically and trying to crawl out, while her mother walked along side the wagon holding her in. The little boy seemed fairly at ease with the ride, but was obviously unhappy that he was seated next to Princess Panic Attack. He sat still, but his face looked upwards in a howling cry. The whole scene dripped of a great idea on paper during a bachelorette pedicure session, probably executed perfectly in rehearsal, then became an abysmal failure upon gameday execution - to the absolute delight of all the other spectators in the crowd.

So by those standards, Kole was great just being restless in his seat a few times, and pointing out - aloud - when the preacher would cough or clear his throat. "Coughing!" his little voice would pierce the silence of the church afterwards. Yes, he's coughing, now whisper, gosh dangit! Sweet Karissa, just like the night before at Kole's school performance, sat like an angel in her Grandma's lap, looking at the world and snacking on her own little hands and Grandma's necklace.

Then came the reception. Then the cake. Full of sugar, Kole took the dancefloor and the rest is history. I think we found his calling.

The Performance

Friday was Family Day for TLC, Kole's Mother's Day Out school at The Woods Methodist Church near our home. Not only is it where he goes every Tuesday and Thursday for 5 hours, but Aunt Kelley teaches in the next classroom over, so it's nice having family nearby. Kole every so often will come home singing a song we didn't teach him, or identify something or say a sentence that we know didn't come from us. He's 2 and his vocabulary is still very raw, so everything he's learning isn't entirely worn on his sleeves, but we can tell he's getting a lot out of it.

But Friday was sort of an end-of-year culmination, where each class gives a presentation of some kind. Kole is in the Frogs class of mostly 2-year-olds not potty trained. Aunt Kelley teaches Turtles in the next room over, 6-months-old to just over 1. Classes go up to pre-K, identified as Monkey and Giraffe classes, etc.

So Friday night was the big show. We were joined by Grandma (Kathy's mom) as well as Pa Pa and Grams (Keith's dad and step-mom). Plus, Uncle Kelly and cousin Riley, who were there to aid and assist the program that Kelley helped lead. The big year-end slideshow music video was dedicated to her, a sort of collective recognition from the teaching staff.

The video of Kole's performance pretty much speaks for itself. It was the youngest class to do an act, and was preceded by the director informing the gathering of 200+ parents, relatives and family friends that these are the youngest and to please understand and be supportive if one or more begins to cry or wander off stage.

And in they strolled, marching along while all holding a rope to all stay together, Kole sticking out in the back since he's a good inch taller than everyone in his class. Some classes would eventually do skits dressed in an Army/soldier theme, or 50's sock-hop themed, but the Frogs came just wearing matching white shirts with their backpacks on their backs. On Kole's last day of school, this past Thursday, we were informed that Kole was singing loudly in rehearsal, and was not hitting the girl to his left in the head, which he had done on Tuesday. I actually had medium-high hopes that he may not freeze up completely and at least sing a stanza or two. But, what we got from him is what we got from every single kid on stage - a gaggle of bewildered toddler spectators, watching as their teachers led them in singing just in front of them. Some moved their hands with the accompanying sign language that goes with "Jesus Loves Me", it got a bit of a head-bob from Kole, but nobody sang a peep in front of the throng of giggly parents.

I was easily the biggest video nerd in the room, complete with Sony minicam and tripod. Everyone else just whipped out their Flip video or iPhones and recorded away. In hindsight, I'm glad I had the tripod because otherwise the video would be a jiggly mess, I was laughing so hard I could not have held the camera straight, especially from a distance. He was just frozen up there, but nowhere near tears or panic. For a little ham bone who so frequently demands attention while engaged in various forms of tomfoolery in familiar company, he was gloriously out of his element on a stage with an audience, making it a very entertaining moment for the family who came to watch it in person.

Notice Anything?

Karissa's first tooth came some weeks ago, a little nub you had to feel with your finger. Then came the second another couple of weeks ago. Now, we finally have some proof of some coming chompers and it makes a beautiful smile just a little more adorable.

Spring Catch Up - No Foolin

I know it's been a while since we've posted anything. March is my (Keith's) busiest time of the year, and at one stretch I was on the road 12 out of 18 straight days, covering Big 12 championships of swimming & diving (UT/Austin), wrestling (Iowa State), basketball (Kansas City) and gymnastics (U. of Missouri/Columbia). Crazy, crazy time - and Kathy spent much of that alone in the house with the two little ones. A lot has happened, so it's time to catch up - no April Fools.

KARISSA UPDATE
Karissa turned 6 months old a week or so ago. She was 26-and-1/4 inches long (75%) and 15 pounds, 13 ounces (50%), so she's very normal and maybe a tad on the long side.
On March 17th, we finally felt her first tooth protruding through her bottom gum. Ever since then we've had the headaches that follow that - the profuse drooling, the teething pain and crying, etc. Then just a few days ago, we actually felt her second tooth coming in. She is eating solids now (supplementally she's having oatmeal cereal) and in perfect health. She turns herself over, both ways, and now sits up for a few ticks on her own.

One thing that has come along is that the shape of her head has not developed just so. If you look at her face-on you wouldn't notice a thing. At different angles, however, you'll notice one side flatter than another. Karissa never took to laying on her belly. She was essentially born with congestion. The day we brought her home she had a snorting head full of snot, and laying on her belly only made her gurgle and gag and that was not an option for much longer. She spent so much time on her back because of that she never really took to tummy time. And when I say she never took to it - she would spend 10 seconds on her belly and roar her indifference. The result is some slightly misshapen parts of her head. Now the thing is, she's still very young and at the point where it's the easiest to treat. She'll wear a band (you've seen the kids and probably called it a 'helmet', like we do, but they call it a 'band') for about 2-3 months. The older kids get, and the more their skull hardens, it takes considerably longer. So, we've made a quick decision to address this while she is young and it's easiest to manage. She'll thank us later. It's chiefly cosmetic, to be honest. There's nothing wrong with her head and it has nothing to do with the development of the brain. Basically, when she's older, if she wanted to put her hair up in a ponytail, or if her hair was short and she got out of the pool, it would be noticeable. Not really otherwise. So, we'll go ahead and do that now and just help her head look as perfect as her face.

While visiting the Cranial Technologies in Dallas, the technician held Karissa and examined her, holding her on her lap with Karissa's back to her. Karissa was darting her head and eyes over her shoulder left and right, staring the tech up and down. The tech seemed amazed at how alert she was, talking about how uncommon it was for a 6-month-old to be THAT alert and curious. We've thought the same thing for some time, but found it interesting that someone who sees different babies all day every day to mention the same unsolicited. Karissa notices and motions and laughs at our dog Maggie. She's even taken to a Baby Einstein video "Neighborhood Animals".

Right now Karissa's most outgoing personality trait is her nighttime wake-up call. When she's awake you won't hear crying necessarily. You'll hear thumps. Like someone is banging on the front door thumps. What she does is lift her feet in front of her face while laying down, then slam her feet down. The resulting thwump! can be heard at the other end of the house. And yes, it will be heard over a monitor in the middle of the night. So, a nickname of "Thumper" or something similar hasn't officially taken place, but it may not be long.

KOLE UPDATE
Not much to update on the potty training front. He has and will produce some poop on the potty, but it has no regularity (in reference to his potty appearances, not his BMs). He is experimenting with big-boy underwear. The idea, according to the books and magazine articles, is that when he wets or poops in them, he'll get a different and much more comfortable experience than with a diaper. Well ... maybe in theory. In reality, Kole can go just as long in a peed-on and pooped-in underwear as he can in a diaper. No difference and no deterrence.

Kole knows his colors and most of the alphabet on site. He cheerfully sits in his car seat now pointing out all the cars ... "orange car! Red truck! White car!" etc. He's also starting to express himself in more complete sentences and thoughts, not just one- or two-word commands. "Mommy - cahab juice peese!" (can I have juice please); "uh guh out-SIIIDE, uh wuh red firetruck!". And so on. He uses bigger more complex words. He'll actually be doing something like drawing with a Crayola and say "learn at school", referring to his mother's-day-out school he still goes to twice a week.

Speaking of school, we finally got a report this week that he was disciplined for his behavior. It seems that there's some box of some kind in the classroom that he has taken a shine to climbing on top of. He was told more than once not to get on the box, and he finally had to do a Timeout after doing it again. Each day he gets a little report card mentioning what happened that day and it has three things for Behavior that could potentially be circled: Great, Good or Acted Out. On the day of the Timeout he actually got a Good behavior, but he has got a Acted Out once before. It seems that when other kids come to play with him or maybe attempt to share a toy, or even take it from him, his reaction is to push or shove. He didn't learn it here, but it appears to be an easy thing to pick up from any school activity or play date with other little friends he sees with Kathy's friends or even at church. One time a couple of months ago I took him to the indoor playground at a nearby Chick-Fil-A and watched a kid shove Kole, just to get him out of the way so he could slide down a slide. I had words with the kid afterwards. But, I guess Kole has been exposed to shoving and now he partakes of the act from time to time.

He rides his tricycle and now propels himself with the pedals, after several months of Fred Flintstone footwork. He's active, he's happy, he's healthy, and for the most part he's a very, very good boy and the joy of our lives.