Halloween 2012

Another great Halloween here. Kole was a fireman for the second time in his brief four years of life. Karissa was a good witch, who a couple of times during her Trick-or-Treating was so stinking cute that she got extra candy from neighbors.

Kole eventually got lazy and needed his hat held, then his candy bucket held. They both got tired real quick, despite the fact that they both napped today, a bit of a rarity. Kole was the chief knocker at the doors, but still struggled with giving a sound "Trick or Treat!" He whispered it a few times, near as we can tell. His method is to wait for an open door then hold his bucket forth, if not stepping into the house and grabbing for the homeowner's candy. Karissa prefered to stand and watch and not so much as hold her bucket out, which became an issue for older neighbors who struggled to bend over to throw candy in and all Karissa would do is spectate or attempt to just take the candy from their hand. Afterwards, it was not just moving along like business as usual. She preferred to stop and inspect her candy and attempt to eat it while still standing on the stranger's porch. And what's so wrong with that? Sort of a practical approach to the day, if you ask me. We actually spent enough time out trick-or-treating and largely missed giving out candy at home, for the most part. We still have a large glut of candy still here. I think we'll manage.

Halloween History

2008: Kole - Skeleton

2009: Kole - Doctor (in Scrubs)

2010: Kole - Fireman, Karissa - Pumpkin 

2011: Kole - Race Car Driver, Karissa - Ladybug

2012: Kole - Fireman, Karissa - Good Witch

Karissa Turns 2

It's hard to write about Karissa here without feeling a little guilty. Kole, for the first two years of his life, had a monopoly on his parents' affection and left just enough of our time for plenty of story telling and chronicling of his life on this very space. But Karissa has already had to share space and time, without even knowing it, even as I type this out, with her brother, who's life is hopelessly interconnected with hers. And that's not such a bad thing. Currently, as things stand, she goes wherever he goes, and he absolutely refuses to do many things without Karissa.



Two blows to get them both out, but then, we think it was the

first time she'd ever been commanded to blow.



For 2 she is obviously on the tall and lean side. She's 26 lbs 12 oz and 35-and-1/2 inches. That's tall and skinny. 35.5 inches head to toe laying down puts her in the 95 percentile (only 5% of US kids her age are taller); 26 lbs, 12 oz is about 70th percentile. CDC stats don't need to tell us that she has an inch or two on kids her age. At church, in her daycare class, she casts a shadow on just about everyone else in the room, even though most of the shorter ones have more evolved speaking ability.

Karissa is a chatty little noise box, there are many words, but few of them are distinguishable and words that have been taught her. Lots of babbling in between, which is fine, and in fact great. Right about the same time, three words were being slurred or barked out just about simultaneously, in the battle for First Words. There was "ball", "dog" and "Daddy". Ball and dog both hard hard-O pronunciations ("DOAG"  ,"BOW") but Daddy got two hard syllables right on cue: da-DEE. And, much like Kole, Daddy was the beneficiary of being out of the house most of the time, working or otherwise, so Daddy was a more conversation word (Daddy's working, where's Daddy?, Daddy will be home soon, let's go see Daddy, etc.) and with Kole offering another voice, Daddy was the one referenced most in absence even when Mommy had solo duty in the house - though rarely referencing herself as Mommy.

Just after Karissa started walking, she began running. This is not Flo Jo in Olympic form, mind you, but little legs marching cartoonishly with arms flailing about as if she has no control of them whatsoever. Around the house, from here to there, she's running. Not being real expert at it, she falls a lot. Since she was about 14 months, I don't think a day or week has gone by that she hasn't had skinned up or bruised knees and ankles. And rarely are they from an event that brings tears. She just routinely hits all fours, maybe bringing a whimper at times, then off she goes. Upon diaper changing, we just notice the new bumps and scrapes. She's a tough gal. And her brother makes her tougher.

Life with Kole is a challenge for the whole house. He's a rambunctious 4-year-old who enjoys having his voice heard. He has reached that dreaded stage where he has constant tabs of what's his, and when it's in Karissa's hands there's often trouble in the house. Even things that are rightfully Karissa's, given to her as a gift, for example, he'll freely take them away. The tears flow from the little girl. At times, and these are the times we dread the most, he will push her or knock her down. He has been seen needlessly hitting her over the head with objects or his hand. Not good. Karissa cries often, but endures it. Once her brother has served his punishment, she's right back at his side. Most times, he's sweeter and more forgiving and mindful of sharing.

But, more times than not, Kole is a proud protector and keen bodyguard of Karissa. One day, I think we were just leaving for church, and we were heading for the door, and - as always - no idea of precisely where either kid is. We open the garage door, let the noise to bounce around the empty and quiet house, and expect kids to be cued at the door accordingly. This day, for whatever reason, Karissa must have been occupied with a toy somewhere or something, we were on our way out and Kole said we need to wait for Karissa. Kathy or I, one of us, I forget, just casually joked with Kole, "Nope. We're going to leave Karissa here, we can't find her. Just us three are going. Come one!" then began shutting the door ... Kole freaked out! "NOOOOO!!" he cried - in a literal screaming cry - he was shouting Karissa's name running through the house looking for her. Moments later, still sobbing, Kole comes down the hallway with both hands on Karissa's arm dragging her towards the garage; Karissa with a look on her face that both careless and clueless, but man did Kole ever protest the idea of leaving Karissa behind.

On September 1, Karissa was a flower girl in the wedding of Stephanie
and Ben Dunlap (Keith's step-brother) 

If Karissa's hand needs to be held when crossing a street or parking lot, Kole wants to do it. When the baby monitor confirms that Karissa is indeed awake in her crib, Kole is the first through her door to throw open the blinds and some sunlight, then chat away with her and make her laugh. If Karissa has eaten what's on her booster-chair tray and her plate of food is still out of arm's length, Kole would rather be the one to circle the table, take the plate of food and give her more. When she drops her sippy cup, his feet are the first to hit the floor to go pick it up and give it back. We know the moments are fleeting, and we are just moments away from a potential Kole meltdown when he's got a good Lego tower under construction when Karissa gets too close for comfort and the shoving and screaming starts up again, but the tender, caring moments bookend those fits with such frequency that we are ever convinced that Kole loves his sister as deeply as we do.

Most days, in the evening during prime time TV hours, Kole and Karissa will be back in Kole's room, sometimes with a movie, otherwise left to their own rules of play. Three out of four times this goes without a hitch. Then there's last night, where all is good with Tangled on DVD, never a moment of silence, constant movement and chatter, then out of nowhere - BOOMPH. The distinctive sound of a head thumping a piece of furniture then followed by high-pitched screaming and crying. It was Karissa, holding her head, Kole suddenly still and quiet like he was wrapped up in his movie. Moments pass and a bump and bruise slowly raise to the side of Karissa's left eye. How did it happen? "She fell", Kole reported. How did she fall off the bed? "I don't know" he says, eyes and head never moving from the screen with the movie.

And there, in a nutshell, is Karissa's life. It's got it's share of hard knocks. She takes it all in stride, though.

However, if there's one strident wish I had for her third year, it's that she lose the infant-like fascination with putting things in her mouth. Still, she walks around with a seemingly constant fish-face, mouth elongated with lips puckered, cheeks puffed out. We still constantly have to squeeze her cheeks to see what sort of prize is produced out her mouth. Lots of coins, small toys and especially rocks - one of her favorites. One time, when Kathy went to check on the kids outside, the contents of her pie hole turned out to be the old dried leavings of our dog Maggie.

Oh, and that's far from her first toil with feces. When Kathy and I went to the viewing of Kathy's grandmother, Ora Jane, back in July, we dropped the kids off at my Aunt Eva's nearby. Cousins Kade and Kallen (Kevin and Kathy's two youngest sons) were there as playmates and we were only going to be a few hours. When we came to pick them us, Eva entertained us with the doozy of all poop stories. Along with her own grandkids, Eva and Joe were also caring for one of Kade and Kallen's four-legged brothers. I forget even the dog's name, but it was just beyond a puppy and not well trained for doing his duty (or "doodie") outside. As Eva's story goes, the kids were playing happily in a back bedroom for some time. She finally went to check on them and the room was filled with the air of digestion's final product. A trained sniffer of poo, Eva determined it to come from a dog. To her horror, Karissa had not only found the steaming pile of droppings, but had two hands full of it and even some smears on her face and in her hair. So - long story short - not only did we get Karissa back fed and entertained, but also fully bathed.

She loves to be held, cuddled and hugged. Right about age 2, Kole would rather squirm away than really be held and loved on. Not the little girl. She likes being held and squeezed and she loves giving squeezes and pats right back. She has the sweetest, prettiest face, and a voice to match. Now, just to hear her voice, Kathy and I like asking her things we know she'll answer affirmative. Instead of just putting out a snack and telling her it's ready, ask her - do you want a snack? "Yes!" she says in perfect diction. After a couple of bites - are you all done? "No!" And it's not a quick, snapped "no", it's a very sing-song "no", sometimes taking two or three full seconds to complete.

She's still in her crib, but not for long. We haven't begun potty-training, but that's not far away. She'll always be the baby of the family, but as a growing toddler she's started to shed those last few characteristics that make her a baby. We'll hang on to them as long as we can, but embrace her growth. When she's not crying from some torment from her brother, or not with fish-lips and rocks in her mouth, she is in a constant state of a smile or laugh. She is, per capita, per moment, the happiest person in Dallas County. From the moment we pull her out of the crib until we sing "Jesus Loves Me" at night and put her back down, she radiates joy and happiness. No matter what else is happening in the lives of the three around her in the house, she lifts the spirits of everyone. She's never had a bad day. As a result, there's never been a day with her here that hasn't been one of the greatest of our lives.

Summer 2012

What an eventful summer it has been in the Fletcher house. It's hard to pick up where the summer started around our house, but I'll pick up just after Kole's birthday.  Obviously there was plenty of time for swimming and wearing the kids out like dogs. For us - without a big fancy cement pond in our back yard - that meant trips to Grand Prairie's nearby Splash Park. It's actually better for the kids, since there's really no standing water anywhere but a series of spouts and sprayers.

We also went to nearby Joe Pool Lake's Lynn Creek Park, which has a swimming area, picnic area and even a regular park area. Grand Prairie residents get in absolutely free. So we had a few trips there and had a great time. They both use flotation devices, Kole isn't swimming by himself just yet, but he doesn't have much practice in the water either. Both, however, are experts at devouring pimento cheese sandwiches.

Also while at this park on a recent visit, we happened to come the day a man's body was found. He was a Mansfield man who was training for a triathlon, a father of a 1 and 4 year old, and drowned. It was very tragic, but I had only heard on the news the night before that the man was "missing" but didn't really follow the story closely. The next day I played hookie from work and we all went to the park to play and a lady from Channel 5, the NBC affiliate, wanted to talk to us about the body being found. I, frankly, didn't have much to say not knowing the guy, but made some generic comments about what a tragedy it was and can't imagine what the family must be going through, since I too have a 1 and 4 year old. A couple of my comments ended up on the news, as did several shots of the kids playing.

Here's the link to the whole story that aired on Channel 5.
http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Body-of-Grand-Prairie-Swimmer-Recovered-167032545.html
Another venture during the summer was a trip to the Aquarium at Grapevine Mills Mall.

Eventually, just after the July 4 holiday, Kathy and I took a trip on our own. My sister and nieces came in from Midland to stay at our house and watch the kids while Kat and I took to New York City. It was Kat's first time there, my fourth, but I've never had much touristy time. All my previous trips were working trips where I didn't see much in the city and only went between the hotel and Yankee Stadium. The two of us in July had the chance to see the Ground Zero Memorial and the Statue of Liberty, two of the big ones on our list.

We spent some quality time on subways and walking through busy Manhattan streets and had an airline ordeal getting back, but we got four solid days of alone time recharging our batteries. It was one of those busy vacations that seemed rushed from one site to the next, but we still had time to chill in Central Park for a few hours on the last day. We ate like royalty at some of the best restaurants in NYC. We had a great time.
Back at home, it was back to the business of watching the kids grow up and live together, battle together, love together, brush teeth together ...

... and no doubt bond together. Kole devotes most of his life to trailing his sister to take from her whichever toy she chooses to play with, for the simple fact that it is, or once was, his toy. We know it's part of childhood and siblinghood, but it doesn't help. Karissa spends much of her day crying over having a toy taken, or simply having her alone time hoarded, under the umbrella of sharing. Karissa then, likewise, finds quick interest in anything Kole is doing, and we teeter on that principle of Playing vs. Sharing. As much as an outright bully Kole can be to his sister, he is unquestionably her biggest protector. When we leave and we're about in public, he will rush to grab her hand and walk with her. If we're in a rush to get out the door at home for something, Kole will absolutely panic if Karissa is not in our cue heading for the door, racing around the house to make sure he walks her to her car door. Karissa still does not have much of a vocabulary, but understands a lot, and definitely knows what she wants, affirmed or negated with an enthusiastic "Yes" or "No". She spends most of her days just being cute as a peach.

Eventually, just last weekend, we took what was technically the first family vacation, the first of hopefully many to come. I guess we could have loaded up a station wagon, driven cross-country and played Slug Bug, I Spy and all sorts of highway games. But at ages 1 and 4, and in control of our own destiny, we set our sights a little more ... modestly. My friend Rob is the chef at the DFW Marriott South on the south side of the airport, maybe 15 minutes from the house. The kids got to pack a suitcase and go somewhere with a pool. It was, officially, a vacation. It was a chance to stay around home and do things like go to LegoLand at Grapevine Mills mall. On the way we actually stopped at Founder's Plaza on the north end of DFW Airport and watched the airplanes land and take off.

We had a couple of different outings at the pool at the hotel, we watched movies ("Garfield", "Monsters Inc.) and even had the ultimate away-from-home vacation experience of eating pizza off the floor!

This all went fairly well. We straddled Kole and Karissa as close as possible to the pizza box - bought from the Big Apple, a nearby place with real New York-style pizza. We had napkins but no plates, so we wanted them to use the box as a plate. After Kole's first bite, he promptly scooched his but cheeks back a couple of nudges and placed the pizza right on the floor. Now, I'm about 1/10th the germaphobe as my wife, but even I almost fainted. As a frequent traveler, I know that there may be no more germ-infested place on the planet than a hotel carpet. Even more so than a bathing spot for homeless under a bridge. That piece discarded, the rest of the dining experience was grand.

Start to finish, the summer was not nearly as hot as it was a year ago. We spent more time together. Karissa is a year older and doing, understanding and experiencing more. It was a great way to spend the summer together.

Kole Turns 4

It's insane to think that it was four years ago that we paced the halls of Arlington Memorial Hospital, for hours and hours.  And somewhere in the back of my mind I knew we wouldn't be parents that day. Something in my gut gnawed at me and something about the birthday June 17, 2008 didn't set. Maybe if it's written numerically - 06-17-08 - it makes more sense. I don't know. Whether OCD about even numbers or just plain psychic, I knew we were in for a long day, and our little Kole wouldn't come until after the strike of midnight.

And then he came. At 2:46am. Funny. There's still something about the middle of the night he enjoys. Cruising the house looking for a cat he had apparently dreamed about, coming to the bedroom in a fit of tears, or just flat-out wanting his Mommy.

Kathy and I will remember Kole's third year in different ways for different reasons. First and foremost, his language skills came in a rush and suddenly he began explaining himself and his thoughts with complete verb-noun agreement. No longer will he just verbalize a need for a drink or food, he can wonder aloud why we haven't seen our wild rabbits that live in our backyard underneath our shed; or suggest where I firetruck might be going - not just yap at amazement in just seeing a firetruck.

It's cool watching and hearing his mind work, being curious and being expressive. We're learning things about him that are cool to witness:  he has a great memory; he's creative; he really has a loving heart and he always wants to know what's up with his Momma. Good Lord, that Momma's boy.

 Favorite phrase: "Whatcha doin?"

The curiosity that never stops. Whether you're whipping something up in the kitchen, doing a home repair, or in the bathroom answering nature's call, the boy will appear and look for affirmation of what's going on. Once the favorite phrase comes, I repsond with my favorite response: "What does it look like I'm doing?"

He's either exactly right or mostly right.

Of course with better speech and more comprehension of speech, the more he is wading into more deep and tempting waters. More recently, if Kathy or I ask Kole something - like to let Maggie inside when he's right beside the back door, there has been an occasional comeback like, "No - YOU let Maggie in!"

On his birthday he had his little stool out he stands on to help in the kitchen. We were making cupcakes and Kole will stand and watch and maybe give the batter a few stirs and help where he can. After cupcakes, we moved on to preparing dinner, but Kole was still on his stool jacking around with stuff on the countertops. I told him to get off his stool and to get off the counter. He shot back - "YOU don't tell me what to do!"

There was a stern exchange given about who gives and takes orders in the house. It was almost more excusable because I could tell the tone of voice he was in. It was more parental mocking than sheer vengance. If I hadn't detected that tone in his voice it'd be a different story. But, I also recognize that a large part of him right now is part parrot and what he says is mostly derived from what he hears.

His birthday was spent at home with Karissa. It was not Kathy's day to work, but Grammy came over after visiting Doris in the hospital. Kathy went out and ran some errands. Not having the best verbal ability, Kole still expresses emotions physically. Not sure what emotion was going through his head, but he crapped his pants with Grammy in the house. Not sure what's going through his mind, but we thought he was done with that area of his life and we were down to figuring out how to pee at night and not in bed. That was a disappointing twist to the day. We let him pick his favorite thing to eat - whatever he wanted and from anywhere. He picked orange chicken, the Chinese dish that he prefers in its form from Costco, which sells a frozen version. Easy enough, and he and Karissa loved it. Mom and dad opted for something else, since we just did orange chicken recently. But, tha'ts fine. Next came cupcakes that we made. Aunt Kelley and Regan called from Midland to say and sing Happy Birthday, just before we opened their gifts which we happened to get in the mail earlier in the day. The final act of the day was to let Kole watch whatever movie he wanted and he, of course, picked Elf. So, we got a great mid-summer viewing of the Christmas classic.

I need to get a video on here, where I interviewed Kole this morning while he had breakfast. Our home desktop computer is down (another reason for low blog output) and I need to figure out how to get video here, but it was a good depiction of who Kole is and where his mind is. As the recording ends, I tell him 'Happy birthday', and then his PMS kicks in. He begins crying, saying that "today is my birthday". I strangely affirm that, yes, today is his birthday so I'm telling him Happy Birthday. The cry turns in to a wail for his Momma, saying he needs a hug.

It's moment I'm proud to have on video.

Kole is mostly happy, and frequently curious. That makes me happy. He may or may not be a straight-A student, but I hope to bring him up as a boy that is curious about all things. Being mostly a B-student through grade school myself, I really didn't start shining academically until I reached college. Then, and only then, I started allowing my curiosity lead the way to my learning - instead of treating school as a job. For most of my life, learning was no different from a house chore like taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn. In college, my natural curiosity of how the world worked, and why it worked, came out. That's when I wanted to learn. Better than making A's, I was learning. What I see in Kole now is curiosity, and I'm glad.

You'll hear people say that a good teacher makes learning fun. Rubbish. A good teacher makes learning interesting. I'm trying to lead the charge in making learning interesting for Kole, so he may yearn for more when I turn my back, or when a bad teacher comes along. I think he's well on his way, and that weighs heavy on our minds as he has one more year of mental growth before heading off to Kindergarten.

He hugs like he could squeeze the air out of you, and he sometimes offers up "I love you" before we have a chance to say it first, making us believe that he actually is expressing the feeling, not just parroting the words. He says more, he feels more, and it's becoming more and more obvious that he may be more boy than baby, which is a difficult thing to see and admit to.