Being in Judge Judy's studio audience

We're in Los Angeles, Kole is with PaPa and Gram (my dad and Kay), in our first big get-away together since Kole was born. It's Kathy's big 1-year get-out-of-the-house vacation gift for being cooped up as a stay-at-home mom for a year. I told her back in March to pick anywhere she wanted to go, to do anything she wanted. She mentioned some options - among them was an all-time "Bucket List" item of actually being in the studio audience of a Judge Judy taping. Well, I felt like my TV credentials were being challenged, so I got to it. Hey, regional sports cable television may be the alcoholic step-cousin to legitimate show biz, but it's close enough. Needless to say - I made it happen.
Seeing a TV show taping is just part of the LA experience for some people - sort of like going to Miami and hitting a beach. The late-night talk shows and game shows are popular. There are studio audiences for sitcoms. But it was quite the experience being among the 56 courtroom/studio spectators of the Judge Judy show. Kat and I sat in on Wednesday and were in the audience for 10 cases, roughly 5 shows - as they average about 2 cases per show. We showed up at the CBS Studios in north Hollywood at 9:00am, as we were told the first case would start at 9:30. We went through a metal detector and had our cell phones taken. We were considered "guests", as 95% of the audience are semi-regular IATSE members (a TV/screen performer union - which I am also a member, though it had nothing to do with this day). The union people are called on to fill seats. That's about it. They're paid a union day rate of $8/hour. After hearing the chatter between cases and by the bathrooms, most of these people are career wannabes of the acting business. If they're not in the audience of Judge Judy, then they're fill-ins or background performers of soap operas or sitcoms. Anything to get a little stage make up and be on set. These are also the people standing in line for every reality show that comes down the pike. We were among less than 10 non-union "guests" on this day.

This is treated like an authenic court experience. Nothing is really jazzed up for TV, and it would be easy to forget that it wasn't real court - except for the lack of a ceiling, instead replaced by hanging studio lights. There are 6 total cameras that are used - two behind Judge Judy's head that shoots the litigants, one behind the courtroom that is Judy's straight-on camera. Then to Judy's right, the audience's left, is another hard camera and one "jib" camera, which is a camera on a long arm that does big sweeping panning moves. Plus, there's a guy with a hand-held camera on the other side of the courtroom. A stage manager's only instructions to the audience is not to applaud decisions - Judy hates that. Next, keep alert at all times - stay engaged with Judy and the litigants. Too often audience people can be caught picking at their fingernails, staring off somewhere else, etc. - and anyone watching notices. The only real staged part of the entire process was just before the litigants enter the courtroom. The crowd is instructed to talk to neighbors, standing or sitting, do their own thing, then be ready to abruptly stand at attention when Byrd the baliff calls on everyone to rise as Judge Judy enters the court.

Kathy and I were on the front row, at the far end - furthest to Judy's left, or the far right of the audience seating. I was in the last chair of the front row. The plantiff's witnesses sat close enough in front of me to where I could smell their perfume. The 10 cases were pretty standard Judge Judy fare - girlfriend "loans" money to boyfriend, who considers the exchange a "gift" not a loan, and girlfriend wants money back ... lots of boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-spouse conflict. There was one son suing his father. The son's wife had a surgery and was having mental issues and their dog got neglected. The dad came and got the dog, which was sorely underweight with matted hair. When the wife was better, the dad didn't want to give the dog back and the son sued. They say so at the beginning of each show, but it can be easily dismissed because it is television, but - these are real people, not actors, with real situations and disputes. Off-camera, they get legitimately pissed off! The cases take much longer in reality - there is lots of editing done on the show. Judy takes her time to read contracts or other documents. At one point, in a case where a woman said she was sexually assaulted at work, Judy asked if she told anyone that these grabbing and fondling incidents had taken place. The girl said she told her mother. Judy asked for the mother's phone number. The girl gave them and Judy ran off stage to call the mother an authenticate the story (the mother wouldn't answer two different numbers, further complicating and authenticating this woman's story, especially when she was an admitted drug addict who had her son taken from her). This case easily took more than a half-hour. Only 15 minutes or less may end up on the show. Let there be no mistaking, there are plenty of screwed up people and conflicts going on in this country for this show to have to create one with actors. It is truly all very real.

Actually none of this is technically a legal court. Many of the litigants are flown in from all over the country. Judy lives in Florida and this all takes place in California. So there are no real state laws followed. What happens is that both litigants sign an agreement to settle their dispute in Judge Judy's court, signing a very legal contract that names Judge Judy as an arbitrator to their dispute. So, legally, you are seeing Judy arbitrate a dispute with her legal background; not an actual court proceeding following any state law. Again, all very real with a real result. Part of the arbitration contract states that the litigants agree not dispute her decision in actual court back in their home state. But, if Judy says you owe the other party money - you've signed an arbitration contract that is legally binding, so pay it!

Too many interesting stories to tell about all the cases, but it was really a fascinating day. The shows we were a part of are supposedly going to first air in September.

Father's Day

It was a great Father's Day, for the simple fact of being a father and being able to share it with my father for the first time. All the Fletcher bulls got together today and had a great time.

The Happy Walk

It's time to start being cautious of what little habits and things we do that the little midget may pick up. I know I have a small habit, almost a nervous tick, to drum on my thighs or legs when I'm sitting or walking around. Anyone who knows my dad knows precisely what I'm talking about. What can I say, I'm genetically prone to involuntary drumming. Well, I guess it didn't take the boy long to pick this up either. I don't know if it's exactly drumming, but it's become known around here as The Happy Walk.

1 Year

Has it really been a year? Everyone says time flies, and it has in its own way, but the last 12 months seems as distant as any other 12-month stretch in my life. So many days held their own individual uniqueness, their own identity as a major episode. There are few days that just generically blend in with a bunch of others. 365 days, and there are so many of them that had their own distinctive characteristics, like various acts in a long play.
We will measure him later today and see what the official 1-year damage is. But, stats aside, the growth you can do with your eyes. His walking is evolving into a form of running - sort of like an old man's gallop after drinking too much bourbon. He not only stands, but now reaches to the countertops and attempts a crude form of a chin-up in an attempt to grab anything on the counter or high tabletop. But, most hours of the day you'll see him walk around the house - with one of the quirkiest, happiest dispositions you've ever seen in a 1-year-old. He does this thing now where he sways his arms and slaps them on his sides as he walks. It's like he's on the most pleasant stroll of an oceanfront boardwalk, and he gets happy arms just flapping all around him. I have to get this on video if you can't see it in person. Kole now not only can open the lid to the trashcan, but can reach in and grab its contents ... (sigh) ... and yes, put them in his mouth. So, to go along with his hobo run, he's now practicing eating garbage, just in case his parenting goes south and he has to go homeless.
A year ago we were wondering if he was going to be a cholic baby. He had more than his fair share of crying - and there's no bigger snapshot of his early infanthood than the first night we had him home and he literally cried all night long. He finally went to sleep when I put him on top of my bare chest. Now, we plop him in his crib at around 8:30 each night, he sits up and watches this little "TV" (actually a little monitor with a bunch of flashing lights and animals), and he quietly entertains himself with that until he's ready to flop over and just fall asleep.
There's no way of picking my favorite moment of the past year. It was cool when we were alone in the house and I had the camera rolling when he pulled himself up on my leg, I stepped away, then he took his first unassisted steps. Everything more recent seems more memorable and stands out in its own way because his personality is more evolved and he's so much more engaged in everything, so it's almost unfair to separate those from his more quiet infant days. But, I can probably group together one favorite moment, and that is the morning. When he wakes up and has that goofy just-woke-up gaze, bed-hair and bed-head, then it's like it all comes together and makes sense in his mind ... Hey, you're that guy again! And there's that good looking lady again. This day's already off to a GREAT start! Then the smiles and laughs begin. Each day ends with its own level of concern, prayer, the weight of the world on our shoulders ... but each day begins with the most pleasant reminder of what Job #1 is for the day.
There have been some diaper rashes, some runny noses and sneezes, but he has remained very healthy the last year. Every day is a prayer answered.

The Formal Birthday Bash

By our count, 25 were on hand at our house on Saturday - Kole, Kathy and myself included. Good turnout for the official 1st birthday party for the midget. He got lots of great toys and clothes and put on a pretty decent show with the cake.

The photos I'm attaching are taken roughly 38 years apart from one another. Father and son enjoying 1st birthday cake.

Splashing Water Was Never So Funny

Exactly how much fun did Kole have swimming in his pool the other day with buddies Noah and Sarah? Observe.

Cupcakes and Swimming 1st Birthday Bash

Kole is still a few days, officially, from his first birthday. But last weekend he got together with Noah and Sarah - whose parents we became friends with while attending birthing-related classes last year offered by Arlington Memorial Hospital. Noah was born on June 15, Sarah on June 16 then Kole on the 18th.

Big Getaway

At the request and coordination of Grammy and Grandpa Gedy, we had a family get together at a vacation house near Palo Pinto, TX. Kelley, Riley and Reagan were there, as well as Gedy's daughter Shanna, son Ben and his girlfriend Sydney, then our trio. Stayed Friday and Saturday nights and included a day excursion to Possum Kingdom Lake. If Kole could document his thoughts here, I'm sure he'd say that it was very memorable - lots of breezes in his face and hair, and a gentle rocking that had him either asleep or near-sleep most of the trip. Could have attached 20 pictures, but will settle on some favorites.

First Haircut

Kole's got a big first birthday coming up, so it's time to get properly groomed. Kathy's stylist, Beverly, (not to be confused with my stylist ... myself) did the honors at her shop in south Grand Prairie. Photos are Before ... During ... and After.

The Overall Staus into May

Kole will go into the month of May as a walker. He doesn't do it often right now, and doesn't go very far just yet. But, he does seem to enjoy standing by himself quite a bit. Some other status points:
*Wears 18-24 month clothes
*Size 4 diapers (nappies, for the Brits)
*He eats "2nd-foods" meats and vegetables, normally has two bowls of oatmeal cereal with a fruit mixed in, and still chasing it down with about 20 oz. of formula a day
*He snacks on little cruncy Cheeto-looking things, little fast-disolving crunchy snacks that he normally has when he sits down a the table with us at dinner - which is normally just off his meal schedule.
*He has four visable teeth (central Incisors), with two more coming in on top (Lateral Incisors)
*His bed time is 8pm, and he's normally awake by 7am. His naps usually fall around 10am and 3pm. Lately, his first naps rarely go beyond an hour, and his 2nd naps have frequently gone beyond 2 hours.
*The mattress of his crib has four notches, so to speak, for four different heights to be set at. There's about a foot difference between the highest and lowest setting. Obviously, we started on the highest. But as his reach to the top of the crib rails became easier, the mattress got lower. We are now on the lowest setting, and the next step after this is to get rid of the crib all together and move on to the big-boy bed.
*He never once took to a pacifier. The times when we tried it when he was just a few weeks and months old, he spit it out like it was a bad joke that there was nothing in the nipple.
*He crawls with lightning speed and frequently opens drawers and cabinets. We have safety latches on most of them, but there's still plenty of room for itty-bitty fingers to get smashed. We usually see some tears once a day from this. Or, he'll pull himself up underneath the table, and he's beginning to learn that wood doesn't have a lot of give. More tears. It's a slow learning process.
*He loves playing more physical now. If I lay on the floor, he'll try to crawl over me. When I grab his legs and hold him upside-down and flip him over on the floor, it gets a big giggle, and this hasn't got old yet.
*He likes throwing objects, admiring how far away it's been thrown, crawl after it, inspect and nibble on it, then throw it again. Repeat. He especially likes throwing things on the kitchen tile, where balls and objects have a little more slide on the floor.
*He's a genuinely happy, happy boy. He gets irritable when he's sleepy and hungry, and who doesn't, but otherwise he's a little ball of laughs who is growing very, very quickly.

One small step for the little man ...

Two parts to this video. First is Kole trying to chew the lens off the camera. Pretty funny. Then comes the main event - achieved about 7:30pm tonight, April 30th.

Cognitive Learning

If you're rusty on your English, cognitive learning is the rawest form of taking information - seeing something, reading it, smelling it, whatever, processing the information and responding with an action for a desired result. Observation A = Action B = Desired Result C. It's what makes dogs and chimps seem human. Responding to voice commands and such. Basic human learning - see something, repeat it. For babies it's different because at some point you just see the twinkle in their eye that ... they get it. They're not a helpless infant that only knows how to breathe, eat, do bathroom stuff, stare aimlessly and mindlessly manipulate simple toys. Then, you see the mind evolve and know it's ready to take the next step. You do something to a toy, it makes a noise when you do something to it, and then you get the contemplative stare of: How did that happen? Did I do that?
Kole up to now has been doing some basic mockery - waving and clapping hands. He has toys, like donut-looking things on a stand, and he has figured out that he can pull off the donuts. The basic monkey stuff. But in the last week or two we've seen the product of what I think is cognitive reasoning. He has a baseball toy where if you move the tee the ball sits on it plays music. Before he would swat the tee because he knew it would move. Now we believe he puposely moves the tee to make it play the music. Then came last night. Riley & Reagan (or Kelley, actually) gave Kole a little play set that includes a little car with a ramp. It's barely a foot tall and the car goes down this slide in about 1 second. Nothing elaborate. But Kole loves watching it. Put the car on this top little landing, push it, the car goes down the slide - and sometimes you can make something else fall down when the car goes through it. Kole can watch this over and over until he gets the urge to grab the car then taste it, throw it away then go find Maggie. But last night something clicked in his brain. There had been Observation A for a while, and now he was ready to make an Action B for a Desired Result C. As Kathy was cleaning up after dinner and I was playing on the floor with him (I do more than my share around the house, I promise, but if I don't get home until after 5:00 I have very little time with him until his 8:00 bed time. So - I was getting my daddy time in!) I was playing with the little car thing. After letting the car down the ramp, Kole did something that is essentially simple, but was neat to watch. He grabbed the car and attempted to place it back at the top of the slide. I barked at Kathy and made her watch, and she had the same wide-eyed look of amazement that I did. I took a picutre! It was like .... He gets it! He wants to do it again! So over and over we went. Letting the car down the slide, then letting Kole ungracefully slap the car back up top. After a few minutes, it became throwing the car. Then we would put the car up top and see if he could gently push it, which he responded by either grabbing it back or tackling the whole race track. Then it was time to go casually crawl away, grab some donuts and slap them together and give a gleeful screetch. A brief moment, but we think a real milestone of cognitive learning. Maybe it's one of those things that only another parent can relate to, and I hate thinking about stooping to parental snobbery in relation to the non-parents out there, but this was very exciting for us to see.

First Easter

Kole's first Easter began with a quaint sleep-in. Good thunderstorms in the early morning hours meant snoozing well past 7am. Eventually, as is his routine, he quickly sprouts up to the side of his crib, bouncing like he's on a trampoline and starts happy-squealing. Which, today, prompted mom and dad to observe today's awakening of junior with ... he has risen!
He's just getting over little cold, and we thought we may not take him to church so he won't get other kids sick. As it turned out, he was ready for a nap as it was time to leave for church. So, Kathy went and I stayed behind to keep an eye on him. I was pretty ready for him to get back to church and repent some pretty heinous sins - including desecrating the Bible. Since he's been able to pull himself up, nothing has been safe on top of the coffee table. Remote controls, drinks, magazines ... and yes, even Kathy's Bible. He'll gleefully grab it and sling it to the floor, then crawl carelessly over it back and forth. So, we've been telling him he's committing a major sin. He usually responds with a giggle and a squeal.
Anyway, he takes all of a 30-minute nap while Kathy's away, she comes back and we headed to Shanna's (Gedy's daughter) new place. It's literally 1.5 miles from our house, on the other side of Polo Rd. Grammy and Grandpa Gedy, Kelley with Riley & Reagan (Kelly Don on the road to Georgia), Ben and Sydney, Ava, Gedy's dad Andy, Bruce & Kathy and their 6-month-old Bruce Jr. were all there, along with Shanna's roommate Etta. Big dinner in a big dining room, and a great time had by all.
Then came the big Easter egg hunt. Riley and Reagan pretty much did most of the egg hunting, but we did manage to throw an egg two feet from Kole. After lots of prompting and pointing, as he gazed around everywhere in la-la land, he finally reached out and got his first Easter egg.
Between being passed around and hugged and kissed and loved on by everyone in the house, to Riley playing with him unmercifully, crawling everywhere, pulling himself up to explore new territory, we came home and he was as exhausted as he's ever been in his life - and that's not an exaggeration. Just short of 10 months, he was POOPED from the day, as it would soon be obvious. He napped for more than two hours and would not wake up from casual noise outside his door. If it were a cartoon, you could have lifted his eyelids to find X's on his eyeballs. By 7:30, we woke him just so we could give him his last feeding before bed. Normally, we'll fill a bottle with 7 oz. of formula. Most nights he takes 5 oz, sometimes 6 oz, and a couple of times a week maybe he'll knock out all 7. Tonight - after taking all 7 oz, he was whiny and pitching a fit, so we made him 3 more ounces and he sucked those down. His bed time is normally 9:00, but we figured he was ready to crash again. So, we put him to bed at 8:00, and by 8:15 he was back with X's underneath his eyelids.
Great Easter Sunday - lots of great memories and some good pics.
PHOTOS: Aunt Shanna opens the doors to her home for Easter and Kole responds by immediately seizing control of the TV remote (I keep telling people it's genetic); Kole and Mom after a successful Easter egg hunt; Kole tracking down an egg, approximately 60 seconds after it was placed 2 feet from him. It was filled with chocolate treats which Mom and Dad confiscated.

Spring in Full Swing

Until Kole can walk, he's pretty limited to his physical activity. Especially at a park, where most of the play equipment is on rough rocks. However, we took him to the park to day to swing in a swing and slide down a slide (in Mom's lap). The swing set has one bucket-seat swing for real little guys like him - but even with that we needed to stuff a towel between his back and the swing (a good tip from our neighbor Macko, who also has a 9-month old), or in front of him, to keep Kole from rattling around the bucket seat like a rock. The result was priceless. Kole assumed his open-mouth, tongue-out pose - like a dog hanging his head out the car window on a ride - which is his international sign of sheer joy.
This was at Park Hill Park across the street from us on Robinson Rd.

Balancing Act

Between crawling and walking is aligning all the proper rods and cones of the vestibular. Kole is a quick and willing student. What he's doing in the video he frequently does on his own, without mom or dad's intervention.

Some Slimming/Making a Stand at 9 Months

At Kole's 9-month doctor's appointment, he weighed 21 pounds even - a slight decrease from the 8-month mark. The doctor says this is normal, as he's now crawling and pulling himself up, active and mobile, losing his baby fat. He's almost squarely at the 50-percentile split of the bell-curve for weight of 9-month-olds in the US. He's slightly above average.
On the other hand, at 31-and-1/4 inches long, he's still above the 95th-percentile of US babies at 9 months - meaning less than 5% of babies are longer than he is. He's a string bean - but healthy as a horse. We've been told to start decreasing his bottled formula and increase his cereal, jarred fruits and vegetables, and other jarred meats for added protein.
The top two teeth are coming. One is very noticeable, while the other is still hidden a bit.

The other major development at 9 months has been in concert with his ability to pull himself upright. Lately, he has become adventurous enough to be standing at the coffee table, know that mom and dad are watching ... then slowly, purposely, let go of the table. We've counted up to 3-Mississippi as the longest stand, but he obviously has great curiosity for standing on his own, and trusts his ability to fall backwards on his butt. Sunday night when I came home from Iowa, he was standing between the coffee table and couch, and began the routine of letting go of the table, and giving a 1-Mississippi count or less before grabbing the couch. He's learning balance and obviously has a great adventurous nature to want to keep getting up and trying it again. It's incredible to watch him and just see the wheels turning inside his head, figuring out this whole business of standing upright.
Photo: Not too many mirrors in the house at ground-level for Kole to check himself out in. But there is a handy reflection in the stainless steel of the kitchen trash can, where he frequently finds a familiar friend.

A Major Sprout at 9 months

Nine months old today. Unbelievable. That's ... almost a year.
The developments from 8 months have been remarkable. He is gaining more coordination from a sit-to-crawl position and vice-versa. The newest trick, as the video shows, is his ability to pull himself up. He's mostly doing it in his crib - where he has presented a new challenge when he's grumpy and not wanting to sleep. He'll now stand in his crib and pout. Sometimes, it's funny to watch him try to stand upright right in the middle of the floor. He'll have nothing to grab or support his weight, but he'll lift his butt in the air, straighten out his legs, do a push-up with his arms ... then try to figure out the next step, then quickly give up.

Jumperoo till you can't stand no more

I posted a photo on this a while ago, but it can't hold a candle to the whole effect of seeing the video. The Jumperoo has been one of Kole's favorite little play things - not so much for the junk on it that he diddles and grabs and plays with, but the kid just loves jumping. He can go an hour solid jumping, then rocking and swaying, back to jumping ... repeat. Well, soon enough, nap time will come around. Luckily for us, God bless him, instead of crying or throwing some other whiney fit, he'll simply just doze of in mid-jump or mid-sway.

Redecorating for the rug-rat

If you don't have a mental image of the house before, you'll have to do your best on my descriptions. I can't find a good wide "before" shot of our living room ... "before" Kole started crawling. I can tell you that our sofa/love-seat combo also had a matching single reclining chair, which sat along side an end table between the love seat and our big counter-top of the kitchen, essentially in the bullseye of the living room. Right up under the counter-top on the living room side were two barstools. Also back in our adjoining dining room against the burgandy wall was a dining table and four chairs.
Well ... Junior needs some romping room, and the bottom rung of the barstools were too easy for him to grab onto. It doesn't take much jostling for them to become top-heavy and wobbly. So, out went those. Out went the recliner (into our bedroom, as a nice addition), and the end table was repositioned in the back of the dining nook - where the dining table was swapped out with the pub table and chairs, which had been in our little breakfast nook off our kitchen.
The end result was a ton of space created for crawling, and soon enough for wrestling and rough-housing. Another staple of Kole's infancy was cleared away ... his, um ... (sniff) ... swing. Little romper is too big for the swing, and once that was moved out, the spot seemed an ideal place for his Jumperoo - which he's also not far from outgrowing.
It's very quick to be sentimental about the swing, and the Papasan, which were calming, soothing friends to Kole when he was at his grumpiest. As we're taking it away, Kathy and I event played the little music box - with repetitive notes that have become imprinted into our brains. Kind of a solemn moment of ... 'Remember how this song would cut through the crying and create instant calm?'. They were once simply objects in a box, inherited at one baby shower or another. They soon became trusy friends.
But, the changes are coming. As you see the pictures, I'm sure you'll notice the little glass bar thing and wine rack with little wine and margarita glasses dangling from them. Something needs to be done there, we know. The house is a work in progress. Next up - safety stops on kitchen drawers and cabinets.

Crawling Just Under the Wire at 8 Month Mark

As you'll see, it didn't take long for the munchkin to start scooting around the floor. Excuse the bib, but he's very slobbery from teething again and he can soak an outfit in less than a half-hour without one.
Different measurement today. Instead of weighing myself without him, then with him, then doing the subtraction to get his weight, today I just sat him on our scale. Our scale measures up to every two-tenths (.0, .2, .4, .6, .8) He weighed 21.4 on our scale, which seems like only a small gain from last month, but this is all rough estimate anyway. We converted the two-tenths weight to ounces, then added a few for loose feet hanging off the scale and came up with 21 lbs, 10 ounces. With the measuring tape on the floor with him laying down he measured 31 inches.