We Have A Full Night Sleeper!

Last night just after a feeding just befoer the 10:00 News, Karissa finally fell into her peaceful slumber right around 10:30. And then, there was a bit of a false alarm around 4:00am, when she was overdue for a feeding, as she began to cry a bit ... but then went right back to sleep until 5:30! It's a full night of sleep, right at about the 7-week mark!

It may not be a routine just yet, but at least we know she's capable of it. It probably helped that a couple of days ago she had a good sneeze - one of those big blowout sneezes, as gross stuff went everywhere. All kinds of oozy bright gold snot. But, it appears to have been just the clearing of pipes that she needed. She's been breathing without obstruction since and has been sleeping more soundly.

And I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Karissa - just like Kole - debunks the myth of the swaddle. She won't take it and doesn't like it. It took us a while to rule it out, thinking that surely this is what she wants, while something else is making her cry. But, desperate ideas soon became a pattern - just let her lay as she chooses to lay, on her tummy or back, and put a blanket loosely over her up to about mid-back, beneath her arms. Her normal sleeping pose on her back is with arms up in 'touchdown' position, or when not in her bassinet, she'll spread her arms out as wide as she can. Kole was the same way as a tiny infant, hating the swaddle. But where Karissa would just cry, Kole was very strong and would bust out of any blanket, no matter if the blanket was tightened with knots. The kid did not want to be restrained ... a trait that has definitely transfered over to his current state as a 2-year-old.

I won't call a baby's "need" to be swaddled a myth, but I know that it never applied in our house. The parenting books preach about "learning your baby's cry", which I think is an incredibly misleading expectation to heap on a new parent. A more appropriate sermon should be: Learn a checklist to go down to address your baby's cry. How long has it been since the last feeding? The last diaper? The obvious two. If it's neither of those, stop trying to finger through a mental index of cries from the past and what this one may match, just keep going down the checklist. Could she be too warm, which even the books acknowledge is a frequent foible, having a baby all dressed up then bundled up more with a blanket in a hot house. Etc., on down the checklist. Since Kole taught us that swaddling was a definite option that could be opted out, we added that to Karissa's checklist and - viola - without arms and legs tied down to her she calmed down and was soon asleep.

Halloween Night

It was another fairly fun Halloween. I don't think we put too much stock in the whole spirit of the holiday and it's dark origins, and the conflict of that being "celebrated" on the Sabbath. It's a kid dress-up holiday with candy involved. Simple enough. We did run into a house where someone said they "don't celebrate Halloween" and stiffed Kole of some candy. I understand where they're coming from, but at the same time ... really?

Kole was a fire fighter, a simple $20 purchase at a local party store that didn't involve makeup or any other special bells or whistles to make the costume complete. A cool helmet was part of the ensemble, but Kole would have nothing of it.

Karissa was a pumpkin - an outfit she received as a gift well before she was born, I believe. Luckily the weather was perfect on Halloween so we were able to get her out in the stroller and have her come along. Truth be told, she slept through it all. We tried hooking a little candy pail over her arm in an attempt to rake in more candy but it wouldn't hold.

In an overall update, Karissa is probably over 9 pounds now, eating pretty healthily. She still gets a little fussy at night, but we're not quite ready to call it full-blown colic. She still just takes a while to fall asleep short of midnight then does sleep fairly well thereafter - she's just not a sound sleeper. Well ... maybe she is a sound-sleeper and that's the problem, she's not a silent-sleeper. Throughout the night she'll make little grunts and squeals, and then give the occasional whimper. Nothing worthy of waking up the house - but enough to wake Kathy or I out of a sound sleep. It's something we never really encountered with Kole once he was over the hump with his brief spell with colic. When he was out - he was OUT.

That's still the case with Kole - but only once he gets to sleep. Getting him to sleep is more of a challenge. Even when he's so tired he's dragging around the house - once he gets alone in his room it's like he finds a stash of Red Bull and sugar, then the next thing we know he's doing gymnastics off of his bed. Soon enough, he'll find the plug to his monitor camera and pull it out. It's too bad he's such a busy-body and has to get into so much crap when he's alone in his room. It keeps us from putting any toys out in his room. He'd stay up all night if he had access to anything fun. As it is, he makes do with what he has - his drawers (which he's now standing on, renderring some very difficult to open and shut now), his clothes hamper and the window shutters. The shutters now have duct tape keeping it shut - not the

blades of the blinds themselves, but the outter frame that can swing completely open and shut. If given the chance, he'd open and slam that thing shut from 8:30 till 11:30.

Speaking of Kole, his fireman outfit got the ultimate soiling. On Friday while heading to the house of a dear friend I've known since the 5th grade, for a big kid event for Halloween. On the way - about a block shy of her house - Kole threw up all over himself in his car seat. Earlier he had a snack of grapes, goldfish crackers and cheese, and it was all deposited on his chest and lap. He's a strange kid when he pukes. It doesn't really phase him. I seem to remember kids getting freaked out and cry when they puke. Kole, who's really only blew his groceries three or four times in his life, remained fairly calm, and was not real bothered by it afterwards. Every kid cries after he pukes, doesn't he?? Not Kole. He rubbed his face (smearing the puke into his hair) and looked quite relieved by it all. Go figure.

By the time Halloween came around he seemed fairly unaffected by anything. Still, we need everyone to get healthy. Everyone! That will be a first in Karissa's life.

The Bills Are In

I did this for Kole too, but we finally have all the bills in from the birth of Karissa. It's actually easier just to skip all of Kathy's prenatal care and OB check-ups. We'll just call that squaring-away our deductible.
The first bill in was for Karissa - this was essentially her hospital bill for being cared for and housed for four days. Technically it was Wednesday through Saturday, but from hour to hour it probably added up to just over 36 hours. This cost was $6,671.97 ... and that is the total, not the balance due after insurance.
The next bill was for Kathy - essentially her OB/hospital bill for the C-section and after care in the hospital. Total cost was $10,590.60.
So, the total tab for walking into Arlington Memorial Hospital, having a baby via C-section, then walking out three days later with no complications to speak of and both mother and child relatively healthy - $17,262.57.
I have what I consider to be top-notch health coverage from my employer, entertainment bulldog Fox. I have United Healthcare and I pay top dollar for the PPO program. I won't say what my out-of-pocket tab is from all that, but if I added up every house bill I have - mortgage, electricity, gas, cable/internet/phone, City/water, etc. - the balance from all this baby activity and my out-of-pocket expense easily tops the sum of all those bills, and then some.
Oh ... then came the bill from Cook Children's Hospital for that 3-day nailbiter: $11,948.47, again before out-of-pocket. That's 30-gees in the span of about two weeks. Ouch.
I'll just say this - thank God for health insurance, and for a career that allows me access to it. And I don't mean that facetiously.

Karissa's First Month

The load of two kids is not quite like it was with just one, and it's showing in my blog postings. It's harder and harder to find free time, especially when only Kole is sleeping more than 4 hours at a clip. Some here are considering four hours all told in a night a great night.

The big picture is - Karissa has grown a good bit in her first month, and is already in "1" diapers, out of Newborn. To recap, she was born weighing 6 lbs. 13 oz., but left the hospital at 6-3. A week later she was 6-11. When Kat took her into her routine doctor visit that became the Cook Children's hospital fiasco she was 7-6, then last Sunday when Kathy took her to the doctor last Sunday when we were concerned about her congestion she was 8-12. So, she's growing normally and mostly healthy - though we can't seem to get her breathing completely phlegm free. For the most part she sleeps well, but it's mostly during the day. She's got her day/night thing all screwed up and spends too much time awake at nights while snoozing through the daylight hours. She spends much more time with her eyes open and is noticably observant. When we hold her and just stare at her (and there is a lot of that), she will now dart her own eyes around, as if she's studying our faces and getting to know us. It's cool.

Kole now calls her "kwiss-ah" and is increasingly inquisitive. Still, he's a bit too rough and doesn't understand that he needs to be gentle. He pats her like a dog and sometimes will just squeeze her foot like she's a toy. When she cries Kole likes to mock the cry and scream at the top of his lungs then laugh at himself. That's getting old. For the most part, however, outside of some isolated incidents, he's being a good brother - though we're not real sure he's real aware of everything going on, and that she is permanent.

The next moment that all four of us in the house are completely healthy will be the first. I've had an annoying cough/congestion thing going on that I am sure I'm on the tail end of then crap keeps coming up. Kathy has had a bladder infection related to her C-section, then Kole came down with strep throat last week. Then there was the Karissa congestion thing after coming home from Cook Children's. So, we're adjusting to sharing each other's germs and breath.

Obviously, I've attached video of Karissa's first bath. She was much more agreeable than Kole - while Kole himself thought that it was time for everyone to have a bath, including him, so he was a bit of a turd while all the attention was heaped on his sister. Again, as we monitor his mood and behavior as it relates to Karissa, he hasn't really been overly jealous - openly competing for our attention while we're holding Karissa. He has, though, challenged his mother to what her capacities are at this point. In that respect, the "Terrible Twos" have come out full-force. One day he will defy every rule - mocking timeout punishments, and moments after being disciplined for throwing a toy, will wait for Kathy to relax and get back to feeding Karissa, then will take a toy, stare his mother in the eye, then chunk a toy across the room.

Yeah. It's on. Hardcore.

Then ... two days later, Kole will not let Kathy take a step without him lovingly shadow each step, hugging a leg or looking to be held and cuddled. Kole has become a loving hugger, even patting his Mama or Daddy on the back or shoulder while being hugged. He has his moments, and sadly for Kathy, I get much more of them because I'm out of the house more because of work or travel. Kole now knows the sound of the garage door opening, and will open the house door to the garage singing and dancing the praises of his Daddy. It's an awesome sight and feeling, I can't lie ... until I find out what a shit he's been to Kathy most of the day. So, onward we go with the Terrible Twos, and all its ups and downs.

Karissa continues to be awesome. We just need her to spend more of her cranky awake time while the sun is up, then do more of her 4-hour sessions of sawing logs when mom and dad choose to do so also. All told, when the report card is analyzed and broken apart, we got it pretty good around here and we're thanking the appropriate Authority for the blessings every day.

Back Home ... Again

With the approval of Froggie and Elmo, Karissa was back at home Sunday afternoon - napping after giving up hope on the Rangers and Cowboys.

The final analysis of her illness is this: urinary tract infection, as evident by the sight of Enterococcus Faecalis in her urine - a bacteria/germ that gets into the urinary tract via feces. Much like E. coli, but not E. coli. In the end, we could have had sensors in her diapers telling us exactly the moment she poops, we could change it within seconds, and she could still get it. Poop is going to be near the nether bits in the little greenhouse confines of a diaper one way or another.

One weird twist is that the doctor said there were such low traces of this bacteria, it was as low as many other germs often found and classified as "contaminants", introduced by the catheter. So, in reality, possibly, the germ they found could have come from the catheter - and her fever was just caused by some other virus that Kathy, Kole or I gave her.

That's all water under the bridge. Eventually they did find something and kept her to treat it. She was discharged today (at 10:00am on 10-10-10, oddly enough) and came home and that's that. She will have to go back in and have a test where she will again be catheterized, they will inject a dye into her bladder, then the process is essentially a flouroscopy of the dye - watching the muscles pee the fluid out, making sure that no fluids are going in reverse - back into the bladder. That would help explain some of why bacteria was allowed to get up her uretor - if that's what happened. Again, the germ they found very well could have been a contaminant of the instrument used to catheterize her the first time. Whatever. Prescribe my girl some drugs, tasty little fluids that get injected into her mouth, let her heal at home and leave her alone.

Now - Kole is as sick as a dog. He's been hacking like he just smoked a pack of Benson & Hedges Menthol 100s. He has a snotty nose and is too young and too much of a boy to care so he takes his hands, wrists and elbows and rubs the snot around his face from ear to ear. It's cute but ... he's sick and it shows. His eyes are tired and red and he'll likely see a doctor tomorrow if nothing improves from the over-the-counter medicine we're dousing him with.

It's been an interesting past few days, but again we find ourselves thankful for Joan putting everything she has on hold to help out and stay with Kole, as well as all the friends and family who kept Karissa and our little clan in their prayers. But, nothing can make me as thankful for the scene right now - all four of us under the roof we call home, snotty faces and all. We're a nuclear family once again, a little wobbled and dazed, but I got to have my moment in our comfiest chair with my wife and son on my lap with my baby snoozing inches away. All is right with the world again.

Update - Saturday night

Not that it's horribly bad news or that Karissa's condition has taken a turn for the worse, but Karissa will stay at Cook Children's Hospital yet another night.

The diagnosis is still UTI - urinary tract infection; however, it was not E. coli they found in her urine yesterday but Enterococcus Faecalis, which is just another germ/bacteria that can get into the body through the ureter and cause an infection.

So, I just got to the hospital, sent Kathy for a night of sleep in her own bed for the first time in three nights, and I'll do the nighttime shift here. Earlier today I worked the Texas Tech-Baylor game on our air. The game was at the Cotton Bowl and kicked off at 11 am. So, I was there this morning, got out around 4:00, got home and only got to spend no more than 15 minutes with Kole - who had been watched by Joan again for the day. Kole was sitting at the dinner table having a snack as Joan prepared his dinner and I leaned down to tell him goodbye. I knealt to his side and said cheerfully, "Okay boy - be good for Grandma!" And in an instant he had figured out that I was leaving again, began crying loudly and clutched onto my neck like he never wanted to let go. It absolutely tore my heart out. I gave him a second look to tell him he'll be fine and tears were streaming down his face. Not only has he been battling a cold and feeling like crap, but I really do feel sorry for him and wanted to just gobble him up and kiss his head for the next 10 minutes. This really has been a huge transition for him, and within the past four weeks he has begun school, then came the birth of Karissa and the revolving door of family watching him and keeping him for the night. All trusting family who loves him more than he knows, but especially over the past three weeks there have just been large chunks of time spent without Kathy and I together with him and I think he's finally figured out that he doesn't care for it too much. Then comes the guilt on our part that when we do spend time together with him, there is the fact that a) he's a 2-year-old, b) there's a whole new set of rules when Karissa is around, c) Mom and Dad are spending a little more time than normal getting on to him and disciplining him. At the same time, he's probably just starved for the attention that he is now noticing is whittling away a little bit at a time from one or the other of us.

Poor guy. He'll be okay, and get through this just fine. Unfortunately, it's Karissa who we're most concerned about now since she's in a hospital instead of being at home. One more good night of antibiotics and we should be able to get her out of here tomorrow.

Until then - I have the Rangers playoff game on, flipping over to the Colorado-Missouri football game, and obviously my laptop so I can keep in touch with everything else. Might be a little boring, but Kathy has done this the last two nights and it's time for me to get my turn.

Update - Friday Night

Results from Karissa's urine sample came in today and there was evidence of a urinary tract infection. There were signs of E. coli in her urine, which is the easiest sign of it.
If all other tests (the bacterial tests from the spinal tap, etc.) are negative in the morning, then she'll be released and be back home by mid-afternoon. We're told that this is very common - especially for girls - and indeed there was another little girl two doors down with a UTI. That girl was just 11 days old, where Karissa is 16 days.

She's been so good through all this. It's still painful to see her in her little arm cast which keeps her IV in place, but she's been alert much of the day and she is increasingly keeping her head up for several seconds, swivelling from side to side and examining her surroundings.
I arrived at the hospital this morning after dropping Kole off with my dad and Kay, then came up to relieve Kathy before 10:30 am. She was able to come home, shower and rest and gather some things, then was back up by 5:30 to take another night shift. I offered, but she said that if she were at home she probably wouldn't sleep anyways, wondering how things were going back at the hospital. So, I picked Kole back up and got home - he was wiped out! I barely got through the door and he was taking off his shoes and running to his bedroom door saying "Nap! Nap!" Holy Jeebus - he's never requested sleep! So, I had him in bed, re-told the harrowing story of the Little Pigs again ...

Quick Aside: Why do classic children's tales have to be re-written? In this book Kole has, and there's no telling who gave it to us, or which garage sale we bought it from, there's no more wolf-to-pig banter of "Little pigs little pigs - let me come in! ... (pig) Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin ... (wolf) then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!" Was that deemed racist or sexist or insensitive to Muslims or Eskimos or transvestites? It's a classic passage that kids like me save to memory.The story now - or at least in the book Kole has - the wolf walks up and says "Let me in or I'll blow your house to smithereens!" The pig has no quick-witted retort, and in the next paragraph the wolf blows the first two houses to smithereens. I can't for the life of me think of why those passages needed changing - and for some other reason, it's obviously still bothering me!

... so anyway, the boy was down and asleep after a good day with Paw Paw and Gram. I called Kathy and Karissa had been asleep basically since I left. Things are looking up, and as long as the tests are negative in the morning we'll have our little girl back home where she belongs.

You Just Never Know What May Come Next

Today Karissa went in for what was to be a regularly-scheduled doctor's visit with Dr. Hampton - her pediatrician. Kathy's mom joined her on the way up there and I went to work. It was all supposed to be fairly routine for an exam and a vaccine shot or two. She weighed in a 7 lbs, 6 oz.
Then Kathy called me at 10:37am to tell me that they checked Karissa's temperature (at Kathy's request) and discovered that she had a fever of 101.2, at which point the staff informed her that when a newborn that young (4 weeks or younger) has a temperature over 100.4, it crosses some magical threshold to where the baby needs to be brought to a children's hospital for further tests and observation. It was not a suggestion. Kathy knows Ft. Worth better than Dallas, so she picked Cook Children's Hospital in Cowtown. Boom. It happened that fast. It's a call I wasn't counting on taking - Kathy in a faint and quivery voice telling me that Karissa has been ordered to go to a hospital.

When a newborn is that young, the internal system isn't advanced enough and there is a potential for something bacterial in the bloodstream to reach the brain. So, this was merely to see if Karissa had anything bacterial or if it was just a simple virus that caused her fever to rise. I know I've been hacking and sneezing around the house lately from allergies; Kathy has had her own illnesses here and there related to the pregnancy and breastfeeding; and Kole after he wakes up in the morning or from a nap frequently coughs like a 2-pack-a-day smoker, and of course he will sometimes cough 10 inches from where Karissa is laying without covering his mouth. So, we're all suspect for giving her something.

Our little princess was given a spinal tap, had an IV in one arm and had blood taken from the other. She was a little trooper, calming soon after the pierce of the needle. Being a children's hospital they know a fair amount of tricks - and for a baby Karissa's age and size the trick is to dip a pacifier into a sugary liquid, then as the needles make their entrance the baby is feverishly sucking away. Karissa was doing so and survived the poking well enough. They immediately gave her Tylenol and an antibiotic and her temperature was back normal in no time. Basically, from the spinal and blood work, they'll be tested for bacteria. I don't know the exact chemistry of it all, but I guess from what they tell us samples need to sit in a petri dish for 24-48 hours to culture and see what bacteria, if any, is evident.

Kole and I went up this afternoon, and as much as I want to play down the urgency of Karissa being hospitalized - and how indeed it is precautionary - nothing could have prepared me for the site of my little 2-week old angel with a bandaged right arm where her IV was placed, plus with other wires coming from her - though those were simply adhered to her skin to keep her heart rate. All this not even 12 hours after I sat on the sofa feeding her a bottle at 7:15 this morning.

I held her and tried to keep myself together since Joan was in the room, but did find myself ducking behind the bassinet as a shield to have a quick moment with my girl and a quick and stern chat with God and to let my eyes drain a bit. After about 10 minutes everything didn't seem so bad, especially after getting the update from the nurse that Karissa was doing as well as she could and was essentially healthy - but was just spending the night while waiting for tests.

Kathy gets Mom of the Week honors for basically catching this on her own. She was at Dr. Hampton's for the regularly scheduled appointment and had to suggest to the nurse that they take Karissa's temperature. She told them that she felt hot - maybe just from being over-clothed, or something, but she definitely felt hot to her. The nurse didn't say "No", but said something that tried to explain away why she may have felt hot. Kathy wasn't fist-pounding persistent but did follow by saying something else before the nurse finally appeased Kathy by taking the baby's temperature. When they discovered Karissa's fever, surprising even themselves, they credited Kathy's "mother's intuition".

At Least One Kid Is Doing Well

Today we brought Karissa in for a 1-week check-up with her pediatrician, Dr. Hampton. Luckily, her weight has shot back up to 6 lbs, 11 oz; and where that's down from her birth weight of 6-13, it's up from her Saturday hospital discharge weight of 6-03. I've mentioned how Karissa did not take to breastfeeding very well, and we are now giving her a combination of Kathy's pumped breast milk and formula. That has helped her weight rebound and officially clear her of concerns in the mind of Dr. Hampton.

Same for her jaundice. Karissa has pretty much been camped out in a Papasan seat on our coffee table with indirect sunlight from a window splashed on her throughout the day. Yesterday we spent a little over a half-hour outside (Karissa under an umbrella) for a better dose of indirect sun. The doctor called her jaundice a "non-factor" with a quick eyeball test and never inspected further with a magnifying instrument.
Karissa did measure 20 inches, which is an increase of an inch in six days. That makes the fact that she's put on 8 ounces even better.

The doctor (as they are taught to do, I presume) complimented Kathy and I and sung our praises for the baby's health and weight recovery. It was nice of him, but we're not handing ourselves parenting gold medals just yet.

Which brings us to our other child ...

OH YEAH - THERE'S ANOTHER KID
Poor Kole has been a trooper adjusting to this new life. He's been happy and cooperative around Karissa. There's been no instances of hitting her or being rough around here like we thought. However, today was school day for him and some interesting red flags were raised again that may signify that his needs may have taken a backseat in the past couple of weeks.

As the day started - I had graveyard-shift feeding duties, while Kathy slumbered in Ambien-land. I hit feedings at 11:10 last night, then 3:00am then again at 6:00am, right as Kathy was awakening and ready to take over. I caught bits and pieces of maybe three hours of combined sleep, but right after Kathy took over I went into a coma until Kathy woke me up at 8:40, reminding me that Kole had to be at school at 9:00. I barely remember the car ride over - and took Kole to his class while guzzling coffee like a marathon runner takes Gatorade at the finish line. I came home and that's when we went to the doctor's office.

Upon picking Kole up I realized that he wasn't exactly ready for his GQ Kids cover-shoot. His toes were hanging off his sandles and his pants would not stay up around his waist.

Two things caught up with us: some obvious housekeeping items we've been putting off while attention to Karissa's needs have taken forefront; plus - the morning temperature was in the 60s as the Fall approaches, as it was one of the coolest we've seen since maybe April. So we had Kole in jeans that were probably purchased several months ago but never worn because we've been in shorts weather so long and the waist bands hadn't been adjusted accordingly; and the shoes (sandals) we've been pushing until we could go out and buy him some cooler-weather (closed toe) shoes. The combination of unexpectedly-early cool weather and the whole Karissa affairs of the past 2-3 weeks conspired to create one big pathetic and hilarious beyond belief ordeal this morning. On top of all that, the kid has had a recent growth spurt - and that's not an excuse. His frigging toes were not hanging off his shoes two weeks ago! Still ... I mean, it didn't kill him so we're allowed to laugh, aren't we? Kathy up from her Ambien-haze getting him ready, then me like a zombie on less than 4 hours of sleep dragging him up to school - and neither of us noticing was icing on the cake.


I will not be short-changed for making up excuses, and it's the best laugh these sleep-deprived, slap-happy parents have had in a few days.

Then and Now

I could overwhelm this blog space, already, with comparisons of then and now. Kole sitting in his swing two years ago on the day we brought him home ... Karissa in the same swing yesterday.
Yadda ... yadda ... yadda.
Could go on and on, but here's one more hospital shot that was purposely staged a bit to capture something similar to the magic moment I got with Kat and Kole two years ago.

The Light at Home

I could have/should have made this update yesterday, but we had our hands full. I’ll see if I can back-track and give you the day as it unfolded on Saturday.

Kathy didn’t sleep again the night before, as her sister Dawnell stayed the night with her in the hospital helping out. Narcotics for pain usually knocks out most people. But, for Kathy is does the opposite. It’s like a ‘5-Hour Energy’ shot. So, her options are to stay on her meds to feel better – and have it absolutely deprive her of sleep; or cut back on meds in order to sleep and feel worse. It’s a punch in the face or a kick in the crotch. And on Friday night (into Saturday morning), Kathy was determined to stick with the diligent program of breastfeeding Karissa at every opportunity throughout the night. Karissa simply isn’t latching on good, despite the best efforts and seemingly round-the-clock assistance from hospital lactation specialists. By the time I showed up on Saturday morning, Kathy had had a rough night. Karissa, as it turned out, was down to 6 lbs. 3 oz. – 10 ounces below her birth weight, but which was still not more than 10% of her original birth weight so we were still on schedule to be discharged. Kathy was actually cleared to leave early on in the day, but Karissa was going to be a close call with her weight and also since she was showing some jaundice.

By Noon, everyone had the clear to leave, then it took another two or three painful hours in order to get all the paperwork done for us to leave. Kay (my stepmother, Kole’s ‘Gram’) was with Kole back at the house, making it a complete full-circle of Grandma duty for the week. There were several key players that made this entire feature film possible. But where Kathy and Karissa had their names on the marquee as the stars of the film, the three grandmas were the directors and producers with the most important behind-the-scene roles, as well as Aunt Kelley and Aunt Dawnell. All sacrificed their time, effort and personal bank accounts to make sure that Kathy, Kole and myself were cared for – during and after the whole birth process. It’s love that is shown with actions, not words, and we are forever grateful.

We actually arrived home by about 4:00 in the afternoon, and immediately had to hit the ground running. Since Karissa isn’t latching onto Kathy’s fun-feeder, she’s pumping her milk so we can give that to her with a bottle. As of now, more than 50% of what Karissa’s eating is breast milk and formula is just supplementing where Kathy can’t keep up. Pumping also helps Kathy, as her jumblies are becoming more and more engorged and she’s actually producing quite a bit – an ounce or more for every 30 minutes of pumping. Karissa’s only taking about two ounces, or maybe a little more, per feeding.

Kole has taken to Karissa very well since we’ve brought her home. Where at the hospital it was a different story, he has been very receptive to her around here. He smiles and talks to her and gently places his hands on or around her. When she cries he gets a little freaked out, but eventually he starts mocking her cry and giggling.

And I almost hate writing this (big knock-on-wood) but last night Karissa was as good as she could have been. After a 10:30pm feeding, she awoke and cried for feedings around 1:30am and 4:00am and pretty much went right back to sleep afterwards. I did both of those graveyard-shift feedings, as Kathy took Ambien and tried to get some sleep. On both of my feeding shifts Karissa pooped her diaper – and peed on her onesie, needing changes on both. So, as that goes, both feedings took a little more time and effort than I hoped, but as I said – both times she rewarded us by going right back into a peaceful slumber.

Thankfully, my mother ran into a garage sale around our neighborhood while watching Kole on Wednesday/Thursday where a woman was selling baby clothes – including some Preemie onesies. Karissa actually fits into those best right now. The outfit we picked out for her to come home in swallowed her up. She is an itsy-bitsy little girl, but she is beautiful beyond belief, she is healthy, and she is now eating well and has spent most of today in her Papasan sitting on our coffee table with all the blinds open – getting some indirect sunlight, which will help her jaundice situation.

We covered all our bases as best as we could before hand – one of the benefits of having one newborn baby experience under our belts. We knew a little more of what to expect, then again – the grandmothers and aunts really picked up the slack on all the rest.

We are in great shape and are finally at the light at the end of that long tunnel that we started on back in January. As it turns out, that light was gorgeous sunshine and an 83-degree day with the fresh smell of rain on the grass from the day before. We are in a great place right now. The love of our families bonded together to make this as good of an experience as possible, and now Kathy and I can more easily focus on each other, Karissa, Kole, and the great days ahead.

Karissa Reese Fletcher

The alarm buzzed at 6:20am, but I had already been awake at least an hour. Kathy slept fairly well. She took an Ambien last night to help her sleep. The nerves and anxiety going back to the previous night were still like a thick haze in the house. The nervousness chiefly centered around the surgery, not so much the baby. We've been through this before, and it couldn't be any harder. I guess we were shell-shocked by the first birth experience with Kole ... the 22-hours of labor, the birth at 2:46am, the list goes on. By the difficulty of Kole's birth, this experience had to be easier, and it was.

After the whole house was awake, Kole and I had breakfast at 7:40 and I couldn't help but feel guilty. Kathy was fasting for the surgery and hadn't eaten since a bowl of cereal at 9:30 last night. I avoided coffee to keep from the aroma being too torturous on Kathy.

We were out the door by 9:00 and over to Kelley's where Kole was going to spend the day. He cried a little as we were leaving, which was not something Kathy needed to see. Eventually we got on our way towards Texas Health Arlington Memorial Hospital

I REALLY HATE HOSPITALS

We came in around 9:30 and I've never been a fan of any hospital. The walls are hard, it smells like antiseptic, it's a place where people come to be ill and die and most of the workers are as happy as postal workers. We were taken to triage where two nurses were so catty towards each other about where to put us that it was tangibly uncomfortable for us. Finally a friendly face peeked her head in and said "Are you our C-section?" Kathy gave an affirmative and we were taken to the surgery recovery room as a holding area. Kathy got in her gown and settled into a stretcher. Briefly she wondered if she might hyperventilate. Before long she was put on an IV and a baby monitor to her belly. The anesthesiologist came to visit and lay out his gameplan by 10:45 and this process was officially flying by. Kathy's mom Joan and my mom came before we went to the operating room, so it was good to have support beforehand. Just shy of noon I was brought my surgical blues - gown, shoe covers, hair net and the breath-cover thing. Shortly after noon we were ready to be wheeled around the corner to OR2 and it was time to have a baby. I had to pee like a racehorse and quickly relieved myself.

THE SOUNDS OF SURGERY

We hit the doors of the operating room and I felt my face go flush. Immediately, I had to pee again. And it's not like if I was made to I would. I mean - I suddenly had to pee just as urgently as I did three minutes ago back in the recovery room. I quickly realized that I did not want to chance leaving and decided that if I peed on myself I'd be covered by the gown and it may not be immediately noticeable. This is what's going through my mind as Kathy is being wheeled into the sterile room that is the actual operating room. I hate hospitals.
C-section, no matter how many moms talk about how quick and convenient they are, is still surgery. Doctors and assistants are scrubbing up to their elbows. The place is sterile down to the clamps that allows the doctor to manipulate the lights - fresh cracked out of a sterile package. First Kathy was sat straddled on the side of the bed while the anesthesiologist did his thing numbing her, then it took another 15 minutes prepping different elements of the surgery to come. I was finally allowed in at 12:20, sitting in a stool beside Kathy's left side by her head, right in front of a blue sheet that went across Kathy's body just below her shoulders. I was not told Do not look over that sheet, but I was informed that it would probably not be a good idea and it was mostly discouraged. Good enough. Don't tell me I can't, just that I shouldn't. Fine.

What entailed next was surgery - plain and simple. Doctors mumbling things to one another underneath their breath. Lots of numbers - requested by Dr. Robert Krombach, ObGyn, at the controls at Kathy's belly, then barked out by an assistant or the anesthesiologist behind Kathy's head and to my right. I only could see Kathy's face with an oxygen mask on, and could only smell my own breath within my little facemask. And unfortunately, from nerves or whatever, my breath smelled like the hind quarters of a warthog. That left only the sense of hearing to interpret what was going on. The sounds of the doctors communicating in code to one another. The sounds of scissors snipping. Geez, I can't get that sound out of my head. Like a barber shop, the sound of scissor blades smacking - over and over again. When the surgery instruments were put back on their tray it sounded like an auto mechanic throwing a wrench into a toolbox - thick, heavy metal clanging loudly. And then there was the suction. Imagine being at the dentist and having that suction tube around - hearing it hiss lightly in the background until it finally runs into liquid then gurgles and chokes loudly on it. Now imagine that sound being twice as loud, and the tube being twice as large. I finally took notice of the tube to Kathy's right, pumping thick red fluid just after I heard the suction tube gargle. Gross. I hate hospitals! Then I noticed a little Christmas-tree-like apparatus that they kept stuffing bloody towels into - carefully, and only one or two towels per pouch. As it turns out, they have to have a count of towels when they're done, and it better be the same number of towels they started with. If not, the mommy will have to be cut back open. Real Discovery Health Channel horror-story stuff, but not very common. Actually things were going as well as they could for us, and the doctors kept remind us of it. I was doing my part encouraging Kathy and reminded her that God was in the room with us and everything was going to be alright.

SHE LIVES

There was no big countdown to anything. It's not traditional labor. There's no pushing, no orders from the doctors to do anything. Krombach only gave encouragement to Kathy and "not much longer" updates. Otherwise it was medical CB-radio yackity-yack in a sterile room full of people in blue gowns wearing masks. Then without warning, almost out of nowhere, amid all the surgical machinery and chatter between people who held important degrees, there was a slight - yet unmistakable - brief, beautiful squeal.

Viola. We had a little girl.

After the quick squeak, Kathy says my eyes were like saucers. I immediately jumped up and saw Krombach hold her up - bloodied and tiny, as she began shrieking. Karissa Reese Fletcher had just made her grand entrance into the world.
My first reaction, mentally - Wow, she's a lot smaller than Kole was!
We thought she'd be smaller, but she just looked so itsy-bitsy. A nurse took her from Krombach and said something like "Who's got the strawberry blonde hair?" Neither of us do, but Kathy has dishwater blonde hair. I had a moment with Kathy then quickly went over to inspect Karissa. It's the spot I hated being in - be with Kathy, or the little girl, but not both at the same time. I went back and forth, but had some quick moments with Karissa, holding her hand while the nurse wiped her down - just like I did with Kole. All the while, Kathy was being stitched back up. I caught a quick glance and didn't care for what I saw. Surgery is a gruesome ordeal. Karissa was weighed and measured (6 pounds, 13.1 oz, 19 inches at 12:32pm). Eventually we were able to hold Karissa up by Kathy's head and the anesthesiologist (Dr. Meller, by the way) snapped a couple of pictures for us. Since Kathy was strapped down I did most of the holding of Karissa for the time we were in the OR. When it was finally time to be wheeled out she was put in Kathy's arms - trembling fiercely from the drugs she was given.

We rolled back to the recovery room about 25 minutes after Karissa's first squeal. Kathy's hands were trembling, but all the grandparents were there and love was in the room.

If I had to lean on a Bible verse to sum up the day, and I've given this much thought beforehand, I'll go with James chapter 1. The entire chapter is just 27 verses, a quick and highly recommended read, and is a perfect motivational speech for daily life given by James, the good book's ultimate straight-shooter. In verses 17 and 18 he says: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."

Amen, brother.

Today's just a day to sit in awe and wonderment at the process of a life being created. Without being rude or confrontational, I wonder how a parent, a person who's been through this process, can still be Atheist or agnostic. That somehow this was not the creation of a powerful God, but simply some tradition of procreation passed down from apes and fish and - down on the basement tip of that Evolution inverted pyramid - single cells, which appeared in a scientifically-explainable fashion after swirls of 10,000-degree galactic gasses coincidentally formed the earth.

I don't buy it and don't need to. Today was the conclusion of one of God's great miracles - life itself. He gave us a really good one, and this has been one heck of a great day.

The Birds of a Hurricane

As the stories go in coastal towns, the calm in the eye of a hurricane is anything but. The wind is absent and there is an eerie cone of pleasant sunshine within the inner walls of the violent storm. But what happens in that space of time before the other side of the storm hits is a chance for locals to assess damage, reinforce boarded windows and battened hatches, possibly even dash for higher ground. Belying the sense of calm in the air, there is a frantic race against time.

And then there's the birds. By the thousands upon thousands, birds are chased inwardly to the hub of the spinning storm-wheel, flocking almost apocalyptically. They don't nest and the only thing to really feed off of is the sense of desperation from the people trying to brace for safety with one eye on the sky.

There is an equally eerie calm in the center of a hurricane that is the birth of a child. In the initial bands of the storm are the endless purchases and transformation of the home and body of the mother. That's a storm, trust me. On the other side of the eye is the birth and first breaths of a new life. That's a storm that can be strong and nasty, before eventually moving quickly on and giving way to sunny skies.

Right now Kathy, Kole and myself sit in the eye of the storm, enjoying the sun and reasonable calm.

And then there's the birds. The thoughts, dreams and concerns of what's coming. Birds of different sizes and colors, but birds that can't go unnoticed. That's what flies around in flocks when there is nothing more to put up in the baby's room, stock up on at Costco, Thank You note to write, bow to tie, 'i' to dot or 't' to cross.

The air is still in here but there are many, many birds.

The First Clue

People have wondered about the name of our next child, but really I gave it away here - on the second post I ever made on this blog, even before Kole was born.

Kole Goes To School

I'm way behind on this, but Kole has actually had his second week of "school". Really it's just a mothers-day-out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at The Woods United Methodist Church in Grand Prairie, where Kelley is a teacher. We figured we needed the benefits of both - Kathy getting some free time at least twice a week, especially after the baby comes, and Kole needs more socialization with other kids his age along with some regular, basic learning from 9am to 2pm.

He's a sponge for words, which obviously has its goods and bads. He's an absolute parrot and will repeat anything he hears. But, along the way, he'll retain a lot. Just yesterday we were out on the back deck where I have a little serrano pepper plant growing. One nice serrano has gotten big and pretty noticeable and turned red. Kole started touching it and I called it "pepper". He repeated the word a few times in his own dialect: "pe-puh". He then ran around the yard, playing the way he does, then about 10 minutes later returned to the deck and touched the pepper again ... "pe-puh". That's become the norm around here.

So, back at school, he's surly learning a lot. It's hard to get a full grasp of everything he's learning, but he's coming back saying things we don't quite understand but figure it will all click in soon. Kole's class is known as the Frogs, as all the classes are broken up to the age groups and there is a Turtle class, Ducks, etc. I should probably clarify - Kelley is not his teacher, she teaches the next youngest kids in the room nextdoor. But, we met Kole's teachers (two of them) at the Open House, and both appear to be very nice, nurturing gals. Each room has a two-way glass window so you can see in. Yesterday I went to pick him up and was 10 minutes early, so I got a chance to watch him play and interact with the other kids. It's actually pretty fascinating. He does very well with other kids, but still has his lone-wolf tendacies. All the kids will be engaged in something and he'll just wander off and stare at a picture on the wall. When a teacher was cleaning up, he gladly jumped in and put toys in baskets, etc. It's good to be a fly on the wall and watch him in a fairly strange environment and be a helpful good boy and not be a whiney little sh**, even if it was just for 10 minutes.

Karissa's Sprinkle

This past Sunday we had a Sprinkle for little Karissa here at the house. Grammy (Peggy), Aunt Kelley and Donna were the gracious hosts. The idea of a Sprinkle is to be a lighter version of a full-blown Shower, common for baby's that come after the first. But, the haul of gifts was about as large as the original take with Kole - less the major items like car seats, etc.
Karissa now has a ton of clothes - sized all the way out to when she's beyond 1-year old. It's a reminder of how blessed we are to have so many kind, caring and giving family and friends who love us.
Also in attendance were Grandma (Joan), PawPaw (Gary Don) & Grams (Kay), my Aunt Eva, Aunt Doris, stepsisters Shanna and Alison, family friends Ava and Donna, neighbor friends Amie and Mako, Kathy's friends Debbie, Carolanne, Sharon and later Samantha.
The hostesses made one of Kathy's recent cravings - strawberry cake, and other goodies. It was a good gathering, a very generous one, and by the day Kathy seemingly did nothing but open gifts and was gassed as if she had just run around the block, barely able to get off the couch after everyone had left.
The fatigue has definitely set in, and now - entering the 38th week - she's at the point of being breathless while walking around the kitchen to make Kole and herself breakfast. She's a trooper.
One more week!

Season Underway: CHECK!

This summer has been one intense checklist. It was a list that began around late January when the reality sat in that we were having another baby. Mentally, I began a checklist of things that needed to be done. It's the man-of-the-house end of the deal, since I can carry the tot in my belly. So, I got the business end of things, and with my first show of the fall season in the can today, I can check off the last item and now kick my heels up and wait for the magic.
The Checklist:
*Designate a room for the baby. This became our former office, my 'man-cave', and a plan was devised to clear it out, move things to the attic, garage, or garbage. Unfortunately we're running out of room in our attic and garage which led to the next item. Check!
*Build an outdoor storage shed. This was accomplished by late July, allowing the mower and various yard implements to be stored there, clearing lots of space out of our garage. Our Christmas stuff was also moved to the storage shed, creating more room in the attic.
*Clear the Man Cave. Two entertainment centers - both sold in a garage sale. A TV - stored in the new backyard shed. And the computer and desk were moved to our master bedroom. Those were the big items. The biggest pain of it all was the closet - which in itself was a spare storage space, mostly for my crap. Things were boxed and moved to the attic, thrown away, or moved to our 4th bedroom closet. Check!
*Paint the Bedroom. We had paint swabs going for a good month or so before we finally painted. On July 30, it took me about 6 hours to do my magic and go over the Ralph Lauren "Cilantro" with a Behr "Porcelain Skin". Check!
*Get Away, Just Me and Kat. Mission accomplished thanks to my mom and Kat's mom taking turns watching Kole here at the house while we went to Vegas for a weekend. We gambled, we ate bad, we laid out by the pool in 110 degree heat (not a sarcastic reference to the temp) and drank cold beverages. It was exactly what the doctor ordered (again not sarcastic - Kat's OB demanded we go). Check!
*Health Check-up. With Kathy in doctors' hands at least once a month, I decided to get myself checked out. By the grace of God, I'm really sick about once every 15 years. I may get an annual cold or flu-like something, but I can count my doctor's visits over the last decade on one hand. So, after a dentist check-up and clean bill of health on my teeth, I then went in for a physical, just last week. Blood pressure was a tad high (120/90) , but otherwise, though I know I don't appear to be the picture of glowing health, I'm as healthy as a bull. Check!
*Car Check-Up. My car has over 140,000 miles on it and it's tough to sink money into outside of routine oil changes and tune-ups. But, since I don't see a new car in the plans anytime soon, I went ahead and changed the brakes and rotors - something that needed to be done two years ago. I also had a thermostat in the housing changed out finally, which has been the source of a "Service Engine" red light on my dash for most of 2010. All that is done. I need new tires soon, but that will have to wait. I'll get Kathy's car tuned up this weekend. Check!
*Dental Check-Up. I started with a new dentist nearby and got a clean bill - no cavities, no problems, I got good chompers. Check!
*Lower Some Bills. Looking to save a few bucks here and there, I quickly determined that we didn't need AT&T U-Verse's top-tier cable package, which literally included every single channel offered on cable TV. We paid a top-tier price, but cable TV is a tax write-off for me because of work. Still, it was quickly determined that we hardly ever watched HBO and Cinemax. By getting rid of that alone, we went to U-Verse's 2nd-best tier, which they happened to be running a special. I was given the special rate for one year. The result was a savings of over $80 a month! Since we got rid of my Man Cave, I turned in another cable box, which meant another $8 a month. Then I got what amounted to a $10/month credit for 6 months because AT&T came for a service call and did not come "between 8am and noon" like they promised, but at 2:30. I was held captive in my own home. After adding it all up, our savings is more than $1000 over the course of a year. On CABLE TV!
*Decorate the Room. Done. The crib and changing table were easy, borrowed from Kole. We bought a cool dresser we got from CraigsList. The clothes were a little tougher deal, as mentioned in a previous post. Kathy got a cool pattern and theme (ladybugs, dragonflies and flowers), we got stuff on the walls, as well as a couple of shelves. Check!
*Get My First Football Show in the Can. Pardon the shop-talk. When a taped TV show is done, on tape, and complete, it's in the can. That happened today. We shot a day early accommodate the schedule of one of our analysts. The show will still air on Wednesdays. I now begin my 15th season as a reporter or producer of Big 12 Showcase on Fox Sports. Football season's sponsors pay the bills for the entire year. So, it's been weighing on my mind for a good bit of the summer, getting the first show knocked out. It's now football season. In my mind, in January, it was going to be football season when the baby got here. Well, college football season is here. Check. It's baby time!

I don't push my sponsors down my friends and family's throats, but they are worth mentioning. If you have the option to support one of these fine companies who so generously supports the show I pour my heart and soul into it would be greatly appreciated.
SportClips Haircuts (I can't support them myself, so now that's where I take Kole! This is SportClips' fifth season as a Showcase sponsor!)
STIHL Outdoor Power Tools (just in case you need a new weedeater or blower. I do have a STIHL weedeater now)
On The Border (OTB just signed on for another full season - 52-weeks! That's now two straight years as a year-round sponsor. I wish they had better salsa, but I'm so appreciative to have them.)
McDonalds (besides maybe Budweiser and Nike, one of the Granddaddies of all sports-TV advertising. Our sales girl Kristen reeled them in on a jumbo deal that involves a lot of college football programming on Fox, worth a total of nearly a half-million bucks, but Showcase got a piece of the deal!)

First Baseball Game

Last night was a pretty not-so-hot night, so we ventured up Beltline Road to QuickTrip Park to see our local minor league baseball outfit - the Grand Prairie AirHogs, as they battled the Shreveport-Bosier Captains. Kole had never been to a game before. Technically, I guess his first live sporting event was horse racing. Earlier in the summer we went to Lone Star Park on a day where they had a big kids part with a petting zoo and pony rides. But we figured this would be a good night out. Not so much because Kole is a big baseball fan, or because dad wants him to be, but because the park is very kid-friendly with a big playground area. Plus, the seating really only extends from just beyond first base to just beyond third base. Along the left and right field lines, the seating is really a grassy berm. So we got seats close to the grassy area and let Kole do his thing - running up and down the hill, rolling around. Basically he was doing whatever he saw a big kid do first. If kids were running to the top of the hill then rolling downwards like a barrell, Kole would do his best at the same. But, his rolling down the hill consisted of stopping, laying down, putting his feet up in the air until gravity gave him a good flop over to his belly side, then he'd jump up smiling ear to ear and run the rest of the way down. Kathy got a funnel cake and nachos - just to make sure the little baby was taken care of and didn't go hungry. It was actually a pretty good time.

Baseball wise, the game was largely ignored. The only name I recalled was Thomas Incaviglia, son of former Rangers great Pete Incaviglia. Trailing 3-1 in the 3rd inning, the AirHogs' Greg Porter hit a massive 3-run homerun, clearing the center-field batter's eye. Two batters later Michael Holliman golfed a 2-run homerun just inside the right field foul pole, knocking Captains starter Cody Kelley from the game and putting the AirHogs up 6-3. And that was all we needed to see. It was 8:30 at that point, meaning it took an hour and a half to play three innings, and meant it was Kole's bedtime. Good thing we left, because as it turned out the game didn't end until after 10:30. It wasn't exactly a pitcher's dual, and the Captains eventually won with a 9th-inning homerun, 12-10.

Four weeks until the baby is due ... we needed to get out, and to do something where Kole got to run around and have a great time was a bonus. Good night out at the ballpark!

We're Ready

Tomorrow, Kathy will hit her 35th week with our new little girl. And we now consider ourselves at the finish line of the Great Dash of Summer 2010 to transform my man cave into a princess den. These pictures don't really do the paint justice. If you were to be blindfolded and brought straight to a wall with it five inches from your face it would probably just look white, or maybe some sort of off-white. And in two of these pictures the camera flash sort of blows out the picture and makes it look uniform. But, in the picture that has the window in the center of the frame, dresser on the left and crib on the right, you can tell a little better the difference between the paint and the true white of the door and shutter. Against a white it's more of a very soft earth-tone, maybe even a slight peachy-pink tone to it. Ladybugs, dragonflies and flowers are what's sprinkled around a little of everything.
The crib is Kole's, which was also his cousins' Riley and Reagan's. So is the changing table. The dresser was a CraigsList purchase. The bassinet, which also is seen in the second picture with the window in the middle, was also used by Kole and originally was Kathy's as a newborn. If we pulled up the white lacy thing you could see how it does truly look like something from the 1970s, but really does not show a lot of age. It is wood and wicker and is on rollers - it's greatest attribute. It freely rolls around from room to room, which quickly allowed us to to develop a routine with Kole when he was a newborn infant. The only way for one of us to get overnight sleep was after a feeding to roll it into a the bedroom of one, then to go to sleep in another room. That person would hopefully be asleep, only to be awaken by the baby later on when the other was hopfully asleep. We'll see how agreeable this one is, and hopefully free of cholic.
But, everything is in place now. We have about four or five weeks to go. But if anything should happen in the meantime, we are ready.

Memories For Sale

One final act of preparing for our little girl is to make some final transactions between Kole and his little sister, at least retroactively. This past weekend that included taking down all the Space Saver bags out of the attic with Kole's stuff in it and extracting the gender-neutral colored onesies, outfits, blankets, socks, bibs, teething toys, etc. ... anything and everything that we think would be best suited for our little princess that doesn't scream little boy.
The end result was bags full of stuff that we are now prepared to part with - via garage sale or donation. In its own way, it was a touching reminder of how much little Kole has grown so much in such a short amount of time. I mean it seems like he was just in these clothes, and now they're ready to be discarded.
As a photographic example: Exhibit A is a picture of all the bags that were retrieved from the attic.
Exhibit B is a photo of Kole from yesteryear. Moreover, it's a photo from March of 2009. The little guy was 9 months old and was as ticklish as can be. Sitting in Kathy's lap, I had a camera in one hand and was poking a finger in his ribs or on his neck with the other - snapping off shots the whole time. This shot was one of those shots that made a good run. The tongue, the cheeks, poor Maggie in the background. It got framed and got some good display time around the house for some time. It even became a screen saver on our computer for a good run, as I recall. The shot is iconic in its own way in our little world.
Exhibit C is a tight shot of that blue and orange "romper" from the previous photo, lifeless in its space saver bag. It's like a small piece of a memorable highlight in Kole's brief life is about to be discarded like another dirty diaper. It's strangely touching. It's not the sight of the laugh, which the photo will always preserve. Nor is it the sound of his hoarse, lispy giggle, which is still on the playlist of my brain TiVo and I access and play quite frequently. But, the little romper was part of the moment. And here now was that romper, along with a bunch of other rompers and onesies and blankets and moments and memories, ready to be priced at $2 and happily sold for $1 and never to be seen or heard from again.
I can throw my own clothes away and have the whole process just as soon give me jock itch than a tear in the eye. This coming from a pack rat who still has hung on to a high school letter jacket, Dallas Mavericks ball boy uniforms and other sentimental artifacts. I still haven't found a fondness for any piece of clothing worth hanging on to in my adult life. Then again, I don't have a particular fondness for clothing more than 10 years old anyways. Sort of like Mama Cass seeing a wardrobe full of Size 4s.
But this was Kole's stuff, and it's like he was just born last month, and this stuff was all part of the process. He only has so many memories to keep in his young life, and here's a big bag full of them.
I reckon this is all just part of the parental path of turning pages, time moving painfully forward, and letting fluid moments from the past set and fossilize in video, photos and memories.
It's definitely the biggest symbolic and metaphoric parting of ways with his infancy and toddlerhood to date, but I guess that's hard to cry over too much when really the task at hand is to get that kid to make poopies in a miniature shitter before his sister comes along. If he doesn't soon it will probably cushion the blow of cutting the first deal of Tres para cinco dolares.