Meltdowns

I hate thinking that this blog will be a forum for airing out every little mis-step that Kole makes or grinding an ax each time he starts wearing on his parents’ nerves. But then, it should also be a little more realistic of the parenting experience than to just sing his praises for every little accomplishment. That being said ... our little bundle of joy, our precious gift from God, is beginning to show the first signs of all-out toddler melt-downs. If something isn’t going his way, and especially if something is taken from him, there’s now about a 1-in-5 chance that result will be an ear-piercing scream and the most horrified face you’ve ever seen. Yesterday he got to playing with cups - like the souvenir cups you get at sports venue, I have tons of them - and he’s running around with one or two putting things in them. Really a couple of those are assigned to the bath tub for baths, and some others I actually still use. Well, he was playing with one that is still in current kitchen use. All I wanted to do was to trade out one of those cups with one of his bath tub cups. I grabbed his and offered another, doing so with a pleasant demeanor in the spirit of sharing. The cup was no more a quarter-inch out of his hand before he clinched both fists, face turned beat red, and began a snarling cry. Within 10 seconds his eyes were welled with tears. There was something sadly pathetic about it, and oddly amusing. Such instant hysteria. He wanted no part of the cup I was offering him. Kathy and I agreed upon the first tantrum we saw a few days earlier that maybe we introduce the prospect of having things taken and not given back - in preparation for things that will surely come with other kids. Stick with it, don’t hand him the object right back just to shut him up. He needs to learn - sometimes you don’t get everything you want. It’s a tough lesson so far. But it’s just so sporadic and random. Most times you can take something and he doesn’t care. But, we are now definitely seeing more tears from what can best be described as emotional trauma, not so much anything physical.

Day at the Fort Worth Zoo

Kole today made his first visit to the zoo, the Fort Wroth Zoo. He went with his buddies Sarah and Noah, both born within two days of himself. Kathy reports that Kole was not overly fascinated with anything - do in part to the fact that most animals were distant, and in a lazy haze, with all kinds of foliage and other waterfalls and natural features that were more suitable to Kole's eye. Finally there was one animal that finally did take Kole's fancy - a stalking jaguar, who paced side to side in his little habitat. The midget got a kick out of that, and some fish in the aquarium, but not much else. There is a little animal-petting park in the zoo, and Kole attempted to become friendly with a cow, then quickly lost interest. PHOTOS: Ellie and Noah, Kathy and Kole, Beverly and Sarah; Kole and Noah entertaining themselves in a play area with alligators - notice Kole's sippy cup. Kathy said if she tried to take it away so he could more easily manipulate toys and other zoo things he would immediately freak.

Haircut Before and After

Kole got a haircut today at 2:00. Pictured are what he looked like this morning after he woke up with fresh bed-head ... and just before going to bed, horsing around in his new little play tent.

15 Months

Here at 15-months, Kole's emotional development is coming right along - it's basically everything but the clear English language that describes it. In a few recent trends ...
*He loves any and all music. He has favorite commercial jingles, on top of his standing all-time favorite ABC song. Many times he will just hear singing and begin to babble-sing (see 'Kole sing along' video) along with it. His favorite DVD is a sing-along nursery rhyme DVD.
*He's become a big clapper. Even if there is audience clapping on a TV sitcom, he'll hear the applause and begin clapping along.
*Am I buried deep enough in this post? Okay, I can't make this a stand-alone headline post. But, we've finally assigned a First Word where he has shown some consistency in using the word towards the word's description. The word is "Da Da", and Ma Ma is a tad bitter. I will sneak this note into the 'Milestones' column on the left with as little fanfare as possible. Yesterday there were three occassions where I walked into the room and he saw me and said "Da Da". I feel too bad for Ma Ma to rejoice too loudly.
*He's already had two haircuts and is overdue for a third.
*He immediately identifies with a dog, either a picture in a book or on TV, and mocks a dog's pant. We read a book, he comes across a picture of a dog, he smiles and opens his mouth and does a heavy-breathing pant. This started right after he spent back-to-back weekends with his Grammy and Grandpa Gedy (with their golden retriever and two Australian shepards, and with PaPa and Gram (with heavy-breathing boxer Spud). Cracks us up every time.
*He could eat Chef Boyardee Ravioli at every meal sitting. Still, his favorite thing in the world is milk. If he sees us pouring it into his sippy-cup he'll sometimes throw a fit and cry because he wants it NOW.
*His most annoying thing, still, is biting.
*He now gently pets Maggie, and most times Maggie will sit still and nervously allow him to pet her for a bit.
*Though he doesn't have a wide verbal vocabulary, he knows words. He knows "milk", if you say "Want to read a story?" he'll run around and find a book, he knows his name when it's called and he knows "NO!" He's figuring some things out.

Mama's smooch

In a round-the-clock attempt to turn our strapping young boy into a dependent, "cuddle bunny" mama's boy - Kathy finally got the boy to give her a smooch. It's open-mouth and messy, but now when Mama extends her neck and puckers her kisser, she finally gets what she wants, and normally follows it with a happy chant of "He loves me! He loves his Mama!" Then again, he is fairly elusive with his emotions. Most times if you put out your arms and ask for a hug, he'll stare at you for a second, turn and make a drunken stumble towards a toy and toss it aside. So, maybe it is somewhat of a milestone that here shy of 15-months that he not only needs affection, but openly seeks it.

Future Big 12 Athlete?

Our friends at the Big 12 Conference office gave Kole some generous gifts after birth - many of them he needed to grow into. One of them was this T2 t-shirt that finally fits. A future Big 12 athlete? We'll see. Only if he wants to. He'll have all the support in the world if that's the path he chooses, but mom and dad weren't exactly all-star athletes so he's gotta overcome some unathletic DNA and want it pretty bad.

Barstool jockey

He is not in Timeout, he is not stuck, he is not involuntarily lodged in this chair. This has become a place of preference. We recently brought back out our kitchen counter barstools, which we really took away when he began pulling himself up and crawling. Well (sniff, sniff) he's getting to be a bigger boy now and our only real concern with him and the barstools is him trying to climb on top of them - but that hasn't been a problem yet. He sees them as more of a convenient table-top where he can put items on the seat, right at his height. And ... yes, somehow crawl his way into the little iron ring at the bottom then sit there contently playing with one of his favorite toys. Aunt Eva gave him this little firetruck thing with a hammer for his birthday, and it all has sound effects and plays songs - he loves the thing.

Big Swim

For the first time, Kole ventured outside his little wading pool and into a big pool - over at the Grunewalds on Saturday. In need of some sort of floatation device for him, Kathy made a last-minute run to CVS for a fairly common innertube with a little footie fitting for toddlers. Well ... there was one last one on the shelf, and on clearance for $6. With limited choices, she bought it. It was both functional and a bargain - best of both worlds. There was one slight, comical condition to this floatie. It was bright pink with the word "PRINCESS" on the front of it. Well, ultimately, Kole will be taught that manhood is God-given and has to do with those little bits and pieces he plays with when we change his diaper. It should not be determined by his peers or society - some never ending chase for a bigger truck with bigger wheels, bigger animals shot with bigger guns, etc. However, for the time being, I thought it would be quite interesting to see Kole's floatie named "PRINCE88". After inspecting the floatie, it just seemed more appropriate. So, I grabbed a Sharpie, made some adjustments, and PRINCE88 it was.

Good Times at Grammy's

A little get-together at Grammy and Grandpa Gedy's on Saturday, the Wah-Hoo Ranch near Mineral Wells. Not that we need an excuse or an occasion, but we threw in the birthday celebrations of Kathy (8/3) and Aunt Kelley (8/8) for the heck of it.
PHOTOS: Reagan pushes Kathy and Kole in the tree swing; Biscuit wonders what in the world this little person is getting into his oates; Kole eats anything cousin Reagan puts in front of him. As we found out Sunday ... that included about 200 raisins, apparently. Looked like the kid was pooping dead bugs!

Kole sing along

Yet another of the many favorite hand-me-downs Kole enjoys from cousins Riley and Reagan is a magnetic sing-along ABC box. It has a song for each letter, and has a function that will sing the ABC song. Kole quickly figured out how to play the ABC song, and it has become his #1 favorite song. That's been going on for a couple of weeks now (also noted here on "Milestones" Friday, July 17). Recently he added a new twist of singing along with the song. Obviously, it's not quite verbatim just yet. In fact, he doesn't really know firm words or sentence structure. But, in his own little mind of babble, he is singing along. If you listen closely enough, he even pauses when the song's lyrics pause, and he resumes with the lyrics resume. Attached is an example.

Toddler Compromise

While many 13- month olds are just learning to walk, Kole has advanced to running, crawling on furniture like a monkey and working a compromise with a kitchen cabinet.
I installed the little cabinet lock things on all our lower cabinets ... except for one. To the left of our dishwasher is a little half-cabinet, good enough to throw a few cutting boards, a stand-up cheese grater and other miscellaneous kitchen devices. It was the only cabinet without a lock on it. We thought Kole would never figure it out. It's taken a while, but recently he did figure it out. The option was to go out and get a new package of cabinet lock-things to put it on one more cabinet to keep him away from some cutting boards, or else. Well, while staying recently at his Grandma Thomas' house, he found a quick and sudden fascination with her Tupperware cabinet, which she let him roam and explore and most just pull stuff out. Grandma didn't mind and this little featuer occupied and fascinated his time. So, back at home, we figured we'd reach a compromise with a cabinet - especially when he started throwing a rare freak-out tantrum when pulled away from the cabinet. He's a young monkey who needs to explore. It's in his DNA like running to a Greyhound. So, we found new homes for our practical kitchen items, then filled the cabinet with our crappiest Tupperware. If we find ourselves in the living room watching TV and don't notice Kole around but hear a nearby scuffle and racket, we now know where he is.

Attached is a photo of where you'll more-than-likely find Kole these days at the house. I'll also attach a photo of him with his very last can of baby formula. It's become a bit of a drum-toy, as he's now moved on to whole milk. By the way, we may have phased out bottles entirely and moved exclusively to sippy-cups or parent-assisted open-cup drinking.

13 Months

Our little baby is slowly becoming a little boy. The other day with him sitting in his car seat I caught the shimmer of peach fuzz growing on his arms and legs.
He walks everywhere, if not trotting or attempting to run. He still has issues with balance and steps. He takes his sweet time walking over steps, and even the slope of our driveway makes him stumble and sway.
His favorite toy is still the little car his PaPa gave him for his birthday, but his favorite thing to do now is to crawl in from the side opposite the actual door. So, he likes slithering in the car like it was a Dukes of Hazzard car.
He still loves seeing his own image - whether it's in a mirror, or the reflection of a stainless steel trash can. Or, does anybody else remember looking at themselves in the stainless steel guard of a bathtub? And it was just distorted enough to curve your face like some kind of Fun-House mirror? Well, that has become another highlight of taking a bath for Kole. He stares at himself and screams as loud as he can scream. Happy-scream, but still a scream.
Now that he's as physically active as he's ever been, we now hit a season where triple-digits are outside, and playground equipment can sometimes give 2nd-degree burns to even adult hands. So, we've found a couple of nearby 'indoor playgrounds'. Once you go in you can't help but think "Why didn't we think of this?" Someone buys a strip-mall store, makes it a big playground with all kinds of toys, bounce-houses, etc. I'll attach some photos from a recent Kole visit.
Kole's diet is moving away from formula and mushy cereals and towards some solid staples - grilled cheese and macaroni and cheese. He's pretty good about eating most vegetables. Kathy buys canned chicken like you would make a chicken salad with, and he gobbles that up. Everything still with his hands. We're working on using utensils, but he still wants to eat with his hands and play with a spoon. Somewhere along the way, we purchased our last can of baby formula. At $18 a can, it will not be a purchase that will be missed. But, it's another reminder that our little midget is closer to boy than baby, and more of that stuff is putting a lump in our throat. He's now moved on to whole milk and he will absolutely slurp down every last drop if you put it in front of him. Give him more and he'll suck that bottle dry. He's a milk guzzling machine! Speaking of bottles, we're now trying to tansition to more sippy-cups and open cups, and even sucking from straws.
We think Maggie may have gained about 5 pounds since she became the beneficiary of Kole's mealtime droppings. Sometimes accidental, sometimes Kole picks up something he doesn't like and deliberately drops it on the floor for Maggie to gobble up.
We still haven't had a definative word spoken with direct association to a person or object. Along with "Mama" and "DaDa", the other key contenders for First Word look to be "ball", "Maggie" (some variation - "GeeGee" or something) , or perhaps an outside variation. This accounts for how some babies often make up their own word for one object - "boo boo" for a car, "tee" for a bottle, etc. We're just looking for some some consistent word directed at a person or object. Until that point comes, we get daily doses by the earful of babble and giggles, and it's not like we're in any rush to start shaping and fine-tuning grammar.
At restaurants or a store or wherever, we consistently get comments about Kole and how tall he is. At the indoor playground the other day, he had an inch on a kid who was 18 months old. Everyone agrees that he's one of the cutest kids they've seen. He's at a fun age and life is very, very good for the little guy. Photos: Kole swinging in our local 'indoor playground', The agony of a tumble and bump on the head, The bounce-back reaction less than 2 minutes later.

4th of July

Went to Joe Pool Lake for the 4th of July. Pa Pa and Gram had their RV at a campsite, the Grunewalds were present, Donna, Kay's sister Eleanor. We brought Kole's little pool, so most of the time was spent in it - since the temperature was anywhere from 100 to 102 degrees throughout the day. Kole spent the entire day either splashing in the water, trying to climb in or out of the pool, or trying to free himself of Riley's grasp. The combination of heat and activity brought forth a level of physical exhaustion that is easy to qualify at this point as the most in his life. This was verified when he came home, ate and drank everything in sight Kathy put around him then was PASSED OUT in bed by 7:45pm. The previous night he was wound up till past 9pm. So after his 7:45 sleep time, he stayed crashed until just past 9:15am this morning!! Thirteen-plus hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep!! The kid was WORN OUT! I took a picture of him in his crib at 8:30 (about an hour past his normal wake up time) and the flash and camera noise didn't phase him.
Exactly one year after taking his first bath (there's an entry here if you care to dig far enough back) he had another eventful day in the water. No fireworks this year. Not even for mom. The convenience of the Joe Pool Lake campsite (Cedar Hill State Park) was that it was 7 miles from our driveway, so Kathy took him home to go to bed instead of trying to set up his Pack-n-Play crib in 102 degree heat (the RV had constant in-and-out traffic, preparing dinner, etc.) and expecting him to get any sort of sleep - only to be transfered to the house shortly afterwards anyways. We stuck around to watch the City of GP fireworks show at the lake - one of its lamest in years. Long day, lots of fun.
Photos: Patriotic Kole; Reagan, Kole and Riley in the pool; hour #13 of solid sleep the next morning.

Case closed

Kole's newest trick, and probably fascination, is closing things. Doors, drawers, cabinets ... if it's open, he wants to get a hand on it and close it. When he disappears now, when it gets a little too quiet, we're sure to hear the slam of a door - normally to his own room. He just likes to go in and shut the door.
He's also learned the art of opening and shutting the door on his little buggy car that his PaPa got him for his birthday. He quickly warmed up to it, liking to be pushed around in it. But, it normally began with Kathy or I dragging or leading him to the car. Now - he loves just going up to it, opening the door, getting in and shutting the car door behind him. He sits for a minute, gets out, wanders off to grab a toy, comes back and does it all over again. Last night while we watched a movie, Kole put on his own theater - getting in and out of his little car all night, squealing with happiness.
Attached is a little example of his new dexterous activity.

Being in Judge Judy's studio audience

We're in Los Angeles, Kole is with PaPa and Gram (my dad and Kay), in our first big get-away together since Kole was born. It's Kathy's big 1-year get-out-of-the-house vacation gift for being cooped up as a stay-at-home mom for a year. I told her back in March to pick anywhere she wanted to go, to do anything she wanted. She mentioned some options - among them was an all-time "Bucket List" item of actually being in the studio audience of a Judge Judy taping. Well, I felt like my TV credentials were being challenged, so I got to it. Hey, regional sports cable television may be the alcoholic step-cousin to legitimate show biz, but it's close enough. Needless to say - I made it happen.
Seeing a TV show taping is just part of the LA experience for some people - sort of like going to Miami and hitting a beach. The late-night talk shows and game shows are popular. There are studio audiences for sitcoms. But it was quite the experience being among the 56 courtroom/studio spectators of the Judge Judy show. Kat and I sat in on Wednesday and were in the audience for 10 cases, roughly 5 shows - as they average about 2 cases per show. We showed up at the CBS Studios in north Hollywood at 9:00am, as we were told the first case would start at 9:30. We went through a metal detector and had our cell phones taken. We were considered "guests", as 95% of the audience are semi-regular IATSE members (a TV/screen performer union - which I am also a member, though it had nothing to do with this day). The union people are called on to fill seats. That's about it. They're paid a union day rate of $8/hour. After hearing the chatter between cases and by the bathrooms, most of these people are career wannabes of the acting business. If they're not in the audience of Judge Judy, then they're fill-ins or background performers of soap operas or sitcoms. Anything to get a little stage make up and be on set. These are also the people standing in line for every reality show that comes down the pike. We were among less than 10 non-union "guests" on this day.

This is treated like an authenic court experience. Nothing is really jazzed up for TV, and it would be easy to forget that it wasn't real court - except for the lack of a ceiling, instead replaced by hanging studio lights. There are 6 total cameras that are used - two behind Judge Judy's head that shoots the litigants, one behind the courtroom that is Judy's straight-on camera. Then to Judy's right, the audience's left, is another hard camera and one "jib" camera, which is a camera on a long arm that does big sweeping panning moves. Plus, there's a guy with a hand-held camera on the other side of the courtroom. A stage manager's only instructions to the audience is not to applaud decisions - Judy hates that. Next, keep alert at all times - stay engaged with Judy and the litigants. Too often audience people can be caught picking at their fingernails, staring off somewhere else, etc. - and anyone watching notices. The only real staged part of the entire process was just before the litigants enter the courtroom. The crowd is instructed to talk to neighbors, standing or sitting, do their own thing, then be ready to abruptly stand at attention when Byrd the baliff calls on everyone to rise as Judge Judy enters the court.

Kathy and I were on the front row, at the far end - furthest to Judy's left, or the far right of the audience seating. I was in the last chair of the front row. The plantiff's witnesses sat close enough in front of me to where I could smell their perfume. The 10 cases were pretty standard Judge Judy fare - girlfriend "loans" money to boyfriend, who considers the exchange a "gift" not a loan, and girlfriend wants money back ... lots of boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-spouse conflict. There was one son suing his father. The son's wife had a surgery and was having mental issues and their dog got neglected. The dad came and got the dog, which was sorely underweight with matted hair. When the wife was better, the dad didn't want to give the dog back and the son sued. They say so at the beginning of each show, but it can be easily dismissed because it is television, but - these are real people, not actors, with real situations and disputes. Off-camera, they get legitimately pissed off! The cases take much longer in reality - there is lots of editing done on the show. Judy takes her time to read contracts or other documents. At one point, in a case where a woman said she was sexually assaulted at work, Judy asked if she told anyone that these grabbing and fondling incidents had taken place. The girl said she told her mother. Judy asked for the mother's phone number. The girl gave them and Judy ran off stage to call the mother an authenticate the story (the mother wouldn't answer two different numbers, further complicating and authenticating this woman's story, especially when she was an admitted drug addict who had her son taken from her). This case easily took more than a half-hour. Only 15 minutes or less may end up on the show. Let there be no mistaking, there are plenty of screwed up people and conflicts going on in this country for this show to have to create one with actors. It is truly all very real.

Actually none of this is technically a legal court. Many of the litigants are flown in from all over the country. Judy lives in Florida and this all takes place in California. So there are no real state laws followed. What happens is that both litigants sign an agreement to settle their dispute in Judge Judy's court, signing a very legal contract that names Judge Judy as an arbitrator to their dispute. So, legally, you are seeing Judy arbitrate a dispute with her legal background; not an actual court proceeding following any state law. Again, all very real with a real result. Part of the arbitration contract states that the litigants agree not dispute her decision in actual court back in their home state. But, if Judy says you owe the other party money - you've signed an arbitration contract that is legally binding, so pay it!

Too many interesting stories to tell about all the cases, but it was really a fascinating day. The shows we were a part of are supposedly going to first air in September.

Father's Day

It was a great Father's Day, for the simple fact of being a father and being able to share it with my father for the first time. All the Fletcher bulls got together today and had a great time.

The Happy Walk

It's time to start being cautious of what little habits and things we do that the little midget may pick up. I know I have a small habit, almost a nervous tick, to drum on my thighs or legs when I'm sitting or walking around. Anyone who knows my dad knows precisely what I'm talking about. What can I say, I'm genetically prone to involuntary drumming. Well, I guess it didn't take the boy long to pick this up either. I don't know if it's exactly drumming, but it's become known around here as The Happy Walk.

1 Year

Has it really been a year? Everyone says time flies, and it has in its own way, but the last 12 months seems as distant as any other 12-month stretch in my life. So many days held their own individual uniqueness, their own identity as a major episode. There are few days that just generically blend in with a bunch of others. 365 days, and there are so many of them that had their own distinctive characteristics, like various acts in a long play.
We will measure him later today and see what the official 1-year damage is. But, stats aside, the growth you can do with your eyes. His walking is evolving into a form of running - sort of like an old man's gallop after drinking too much bourbon. He not only stands, but now reaches to the countertops and attempts a crude form of a chin-up in an attempt to grab anything on the counter or high tabletop. But, most hours of the day you'll see him walk around the house - with one of the quirkiest, happiest dispositions you've ever seen in a 1-year-old. He does this thing now where he sways his arms and slaps them on his sides as he walks. It's like he's on the most pleasant stroll of an oceanfront boardwalk, and he gets happy arms just flapping all around him. I have to get this on video if you can't see it in person. Kole now not only can open the lid to the trashcan, but can reach in and grab its contents ... (sigh) ... and yes, put them in his mouth. So, to go along with his hobo run, he's now practicing eating garbage, just in case his parenting goes south and he has to go homeless.
A year ago we were wondering if he was going to be a cholic baby. He had more than his fair share of crying - and there's no bigger snapshot of his early infanthood than the first night we had him home and he literally cried all night long. He finally went to sleep when I put him on top of my bare chest. Now, we plop him in his crib at around 8:30 each night, he sits up and watches this little "TV" (actually a little monitor with a bunch of flashing lights and animals), and he quietly entertains himself with that until he's ready to flop over and just fall asleep.
There's no way of picking my favorite moment of the past year. It was cool when we were alone in the house and I had the camera rolling when he pulled himself up on my leg, I stepped away, then he took his first unassisted steps. Everything more recent seems more memorable and stands out in its own way because his personality is more evolved and he's so much more engaged in everything, so it's almost unfair to separate those from his more quiet infant days. But, I can probably group together one favorite moment, and that is the morning. When he wakes up and has that goofy just-woke-up gaze, bed-hair and bed-head, then it's like it all comes together and makes sense in his mind ... Hey, you're that guy again! And there's that good looking lady again. This day's already off to a GREAT start! Then the smiles and laughs begin. Each day ends with its own level of concern, prayer, the weight of the world on our shoulders ... but each day begins with the most pleasant reminder of what Job #1 is for the day.
There have been some diaper rashes, some runny noses and sneezes, but he has remained very healthy the last year. Every day is a prayer answered.

The Formal Birthday Bash

By our count, 25 were on hand at our house on Saturday - Kole, Kathy and myself included. Good turnout for the official 1st birthday party for the midget. He got lots of great toys and clothes and put on a pretty decent show with the cake.

The photos I'm attaching are taken roughly 38 years apart from one another. Father and son enjoying 1st birthday cake.

Splashing Water Was Never So Funny

Exactly how much fun did Kole have swimming in his pool the other day with buddies Noah and Sarah? Observe.