Getting Back to Normal?

It almost feels like college again, rolling out of bed at 9:30am on a Sunday. Thing is - this wake up came just after the 5:45, the 3:20, and the 11:30 wake-ups before that. Sleeping in segments is a trick, and Mom has never been able to nap very well in the sun-up hours and is still having a hard time learning.
Kole is being a better sleeper, as we find something like a normal routine to get into with me returning to work tomorrow. With Kathy's mother less than 10 minutes away at all times, I feel a little better about leaving the house. Plus we have a good neighbor 3 houses down who is a stay-at-home mom. Kole has pulled off a feat twice in the past few days that I'm calling the Diaper Trifecta. Putting him down to change a diaper, putting a new one down - not even taped up and fastened yet before he dirties that one. He still hasn't managed what we can technically qualify as a smile, but after that trick he did go into his familiar pose of satisfaction, hands curled up at his chest, puppy-dog eyes big and wide.
Everyone is adjusting pretty well to this baby thing except our beloved mascot - Maggie. Our poor little dog hardly knows what to think of this crying beast. Her sleep, in all hours of the day, is being affected as well. And she doesn't get invited up to the couch nearly as much as she used to, especially when Kat is feeding. There's been a couple of days where she's just been sluggish, like she was sick and we've considered taking her to the vet. But, the next day she'll be better. Still, we see an obvious affect on her in some way. Know what a feat it will be once we get Kole and Maggie together for a photo. Right now Maggie doesn't want anything to do with him. She'll sniff him every now and then, but has not yet developed a protective instinct.
Last night Kathy's mom Joan came over for an hour-and-1/2 and watched Kole while Kat and I hit our favorite sushi place. Kathy came just shy of qualifying for the 2008 Howard Hughes Award for shut-ins. She finally got out of the house for the first time since returning from the hospital, let the sun splash on her face and wore something other than pajamas. It was good therapy. Things are officially going very well in the Fletcher house as we head into Kole's 3rd week.

Grandmas to the Rescue

Thank God for mothers - or in our case, the grandmothers. Kathy’s mother stayed over Monday night, my mother last night - holding down the graveyard shift so Kathy and I could get a decent night’s sleep. It’s easy to forget, but between June 17th and 18th, Kathy and I had about 40-42 hour day before getting what might best be described as “some” sleep. Kathy was knocked out on meds, I was at home nervous about her situation and tense about not being with my new son in his first few days. Two nights of shoddy sleep were followed by our first two nights at home with Kole and virtually no sleep. We knew coming into this that sleep deprivation was part of the gig. But, the 20-hour labor, lasting until sun-up the next morning was something we hadn’t factored in. So, yesterday morning we had enough sleep to be a little more refreshed and were able to spend the day doing laundry and other chores that were basically on hold since the previous Monday. I think we did 8 or 9 loads of laundry. We had repairmen over for the air conditioner and our hot tub. Last night we got the batteries charged a little more. Of course - Kole only cried when he was hungry, my mom gave him the bottle, he pooped, she changed it, he was back wiped out. My mom said SHE slept great. So, that’s encouraging as it’s back on our shoulders now. But, it’s nice to have our legs back underneath us after an intense 6 or 7 day stretch with little or no sleep.
Labor, as it turns out, was a major pain in the neck for Kathy. She has suddenly developed a major case of neck and upper back pain. Think of the pregnant mother in the labor-pushing position - craning her neck forward to push and push. Now picture Kathy doing that for nearly two hours. It was like three weeks of neck aerobics crammed into 2 hours, and now she’s starting to feel it. That’s what caused her some sleep trouble last night.
But, two Grandmas got a good overdose of Kole time, and we were able to get our batteries reasonably recharged and are now ready to get back on the graveyard shift ourselves. My mom brought over my favorite homemade lasagne and I think we are officially set.

Finding the Formula to Sleep Relief

Yesterday we made the decision to experiment with the top-of-the-line breast pump thankfully loaned to us by Brent & Courtney. The doctors and books say not to start pumping for 3-4 weeks, so the baby will take to the boob better. If he starts getting the bottle, he may like that nipple better (not having to suck and work as hard to get something out) than the boob. But, we felt like we've been dealt a different set of cards, with Kathy's recovery and all. We simply needed some sleep and the only way to achieve it was to have something on stand-by in bottle for someone else to feed him. We got Kathy rigged up and started pumping away. I wouldn't want my picture taken if I were a woman, but since I'm not, I can't resist saying - It's too bad I couldn't take a picture. She was quite a sight. Well, after nearly a half-hour of pumping, each boob gave about 1 ounce of milk. We then began scratching our heads. Is this all Kole is getting in the same amount of time? Is that why he gets so hungry so often? Is he not getting enough nourishment? For his next feeding, he was on the boob until he was satisfied - or to the point that he always has been. We then took a bottle of formula that we had left over from the hospital. He drained that sucker in no time!
So, we've quickly re-evaluated the feeding situation. We will breastfeed when possible, then follow that with a little formula until he's satisfied. But last night, Kathy's mother Joan was over and offered to stay and do the graveyard shift of feedings if we wanted to catch up on sleep. It didn't take us long to take the offer - even as my mother has offered to do the same thing tonight. So we staked Joan to the guest room, set her up with bottles and formula, and we put a new bassinet in the room. Not brand new - Joan had actually brought over the bassinet that Kathy herself slept in as an infant. Very cool vintage-looking old wooden bassinet with this frilly, lacy thing that hangs over it. Plus, it has wheels and easily rolls around the house. I bet Kathy that Kole would pick last night to give her no trouble whatsoever and sleep well through the night.
Well - of course that's what happened. Joan said he cried only when he was hungry, then went straight to sleep afterwards. She did not swaddle him, as she says she still doesn't know how to do it too good. She put socks on his feet and wrapped his legs in a blanket then left the rest of the blanket loose around his upper body. She said Kole wiped out with his arms up to his sides, like an infant version of doing 'Touchdown'. Joan said she herself didn't sleep too well, a result of just watching him and worrying about anything and everything else.
As for Kathy and I?? Kat took an Ambien, while I took my deep-sleep approach of lying down horizontally with a pillow under my head. I've never needed help sleeping. I pass out when the airplane begins to taxi from the jet bridge when my seat is still fully upright. Last night I remember putting on Letterman like we always do. Normally we get as far as the "Top 10 List" and then turn the volume down and pull the covers up just before the first guest comes out. Last night I was out the instant my head hit the pillow. I was playing Augusta National with a naked Eva Longoria driving my golf cart before Dave introduced Paul Shaffer. Kat slept solid until about 5:30 while I stayed comatose until around 8:00.

The "Perfect" Baby?? (Poll Result)

Kole had a regular little checkup at the hospital, for jaundice and to check his weight. He weighed in at 7 pounds, 8 ounces, which is what he weighed at discharge on Friday. That's 8% below his birth weight and considered normal. They don't get concerned until it gets to 10%. For the jaundice test, the Lactacianist has this little electric contraption that looks like one of those laser thermometers that reads temperature off heat from the forehead. But, this thing somehow checks for jaundice. She does three readings and takes the average, and as she's doing this she says every kid is at least a 1, but 2-3 is still normal. They don't get concerned until a baby is about a 5. About this time, the people with the baby with the next appointment walk up a little early - their little girl looks like it's been left in a tanning bed too long. I'm thinking to myself - Geez, is that baby a 2, 4, 6, or 8? But, the doctor does Kole's reading ... 0 ... 0 ... 0. Three zeros. She actually had an open-mouth look of surprise. She said - That just doesn't happen anymore, I can't remember the last time we had a baby here come in at zero!
She then did three more test with the same 0-10 scale, with a lower number being better. Kole scored a big Zero, Zero, Zero. The doctor was almost beside herself - "This is just a perfect baby! We don't get too many like this!" I watched her as she said this, as she's probably learned just to say all the right things to new parents. But, she had arched eyebrows and shook her head side to side as she wrote his scores down and seemed as sincere as a doctor can. No baby-voice or exaggerated enthusiasm, just matter-of-fact monotone. Knowing that it will be a while before anyone tries telling us the kid is ugly or not up to snuff about one thing or another, knowing everyone will say all the right things for quite some time, it is at least comforting to know that he is in good health and he's at least starting out a little better than the average kid out there. I stare upwards and do a lot of thanking lately, and this will top my next list of thanks.
So, that' s all the prodding that will be done by doctors to Kole for a little while. Tomorrow we'll schedule his first office visit with his pediatrician, Dr. Kenneth Carlson in Arlington. Until then, Kathy's milk has arrived, and Kole should be happily feeding like a madman. He's quite a sight when he's sucking away, little cheeks going everywhere, while his eyes get wide as he stares at his mama. Even when it's 3:00 in the morning, I'd rather watch him do that then to try to roll over and sneak in a few Zs.

As for the little Poll questions - all day Friday, his first full day home, Kole went through 5 diapers. He may now be starting the time where he goes through 10-plus a day, but just 5 in the 24-hour span that was June 20.

The trick: Paralysis by Swaddling

Much better last night. Much better. Saturday morning the first person I ran into was our neighbor Angela, who upon hearing of our nightmare night of screams, her first reaction was - don’t underestimate a good swaddle! She’s our age, has a 4 and 6 year old and is a stay-at-home mom. When she said that it made sense. But - we knew about swaddling. We’d read all the books, heard all the advice, and I remember Riley and Reagan being rolled up like burritos, and every other kid I’ve watched grow up. But, it did sink in - Kole’s arms and legs were flailing around everywhere that night. We even used one of those specially-made swaddling blankets, called Swaddlers, with the little pocket cut out for the feet and even velcro straps for wrapping. After one night’s use - those have been retired to the set of towels we keep in the laundry room for spills on the carpet or if Maggie pukes. Absolutely worthless! Maybe Kole’s just too big for that Swaddler blanket, but his feet came out within 2 minutes, and his hands were free after another 2 minutes. Later yesterday I talked to Kathy (Kevin’s Anna-Kathy) who again reiterated good swaddling. So all of yesterday I practiced my swaddle roll on Kole. Plus, we kept him awake constantly from 2:00 onward - except when we had dinner then we swaddled him and put him in his swing and he napped while we ate with Joan. That dang swing is a lifesaver, and yesterday I was at Costco and bought a huge brick of D-Cell batteries which the swing takes.
When it came bed time, he had his last feeding around 10:45. I burped him and walked around with him until he was drowsy. His swaddle was so tight I probably could have stood him up vertically. I put him down in his crib and he stayed asleep until he was hungry again. Between 11:00p and 4:00a he cried four times - three times he was fed, the other time I just walked him out until he fell asleep again. After his feeding at 4:00, he crashed and stayed crashed. Kathy and I woke up ourselves around 9:00 and he was still dozy.
I know success will come in small steps, but that was a big one last night. At least we now know that we can indeed manage to sneak in some sleep during the night, even if they are quick cat-naps between cries. There’s nothing worse than having a screaming 3-day-old and wondering what in the world it needs and having no way of getting him to stop.

Kole has an appointment at the hospital at 2:00 - some regular check-up stuff for jaundice and to make sure he’s gaining weight and getting proper nutrition.

Rough Night

On Wednesday and Thursday nights, Kathy got doped up pretty good with pain meds and Kole slept in the nursery. Last night, at home, we had our grand initiation into parenthood. After a feeding, we tried to bed down around 11:00 last night, but Kole would have nothing of it. He fussed and cried, then fussed and cried some more. We held him till he would quiet, then when we went to lay him down he'd kick right up again. We changed a diaper, did more walking. All the same. He'd close his eyes then crank back up screaming. When 2:00am passed, we had our "What in the world do we do now?" look at each other, but by that time it was time to try to feed him again. He did that then cried some more. Finally, just after 4:00am, I just put him on my chest as I lay down in bed. He finally fell asleep while laying on me, then I made a successful transfer to his little crib - this time putting him tummy-down, which is how he was lying on my chest. It seemed to do the trick, as he slept solid until 7:45 then gave us a wake-up call. Kathy fed him, then he went right back to sleep, where he's been sawing logs in his little swing ever since - the little turd!

Incidentally - by statistics, Kole's 8-02 birth weight is in the 75th percentile of newborns in the U.S., meaning only 25% of babies weigh more. His length of 21 inches is in the 90th percentile, meaning only 10% of babies born are longer.

I took this pic off the "Most Recent Photo" but still wanted it up somewhere. It's my favorite, taken on the 18th around noon maybe.

We're home

Kathy's complications are still serious enough for her to second-guess whether or not to come home today around noon - but, by 5:00 or so we decided to ditch the joint. About 7:00 I made my white-knuckle drive home. We dropped off Kathy's prescription on the way home, then after dropping everyone off I went back to get her meds. Kathy fed Kole while I was gone, and by the time I got back I burped him and he started going nuts. Crying and crying and crying - which has actually not been characteristic. Unless he's hungry, he's been very chilled out and content. But he went on and on, we changed a diaper, put a new onesie on him, still crying and crying. Finally I just tried putting him in his little swing. Still squirmy and crying, I turned on the sound - sounds of rushing water, or sounds of the womb, or something like that. Instant silence. Content as can be, silently rubbing his face.
What a wild last few days. Looking forward to finding some sort of sense of normalcy around the house.

Also This Day on June 18

Astrological sign: Gemini - considered a "masculine" sign of the Zodiac
1812 - US declares war on Great Britian. Someone forgets to tag a catchy name to this and it becomes known simply as the War of 1812.
1873 - Suffragist Susan B. Anthony defiantly stands in line to vote in the presidential election. She is apprehended by police and fined $100. Men show their superiority by re-electing Ulysses S. Grant to a second term.
1942 - Sir Paul McCartney born in Liverpool, England. Not just a Beatle - he actually goes on to enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the most successful composer and musician in the history of the world, having sold over 100 million singles.
1942 - Roger Ebert is born outside Chicago, watches Fonzie on 'Happy Days' and decides to steal the thumbs-up move to rank movies.
1983 - Sally K. Ride blasts off aboard the space shuttle Challenger, becoming the first American woman in space.
1974 - Singer Alanis Morissette is born in Canada

Open House

At this point, as long as Kathy's health continues to improve, we're planning on having an 'Open House' for anyone and everyone who wants to check out the baby.
I'd rather not post our address on the internet, so if you want to come and aren't sure of our address or directions just call or email me.
Kathy is nursing Kole herself, so she may need to disappear now and then to feed him, but otherwise the doors will be open all day Saturday.

His color is getting normal - not as red and purple as when he first came out, and his cone head is going down. He's getting cuter by the minute, which I thought was entirely impossible yesterday.

Post-script to the Timeline

One detail that was not left out of the Timeline was breakfast for Kathy. All the pregnancy book make big highlighted chapters about - Be sure to eat everything you can before you go to the hospital! Since you won't/can't eat anything once you're there and get admitted. We left the house in a bit of a rush that morning, fully expecting (in Kathy's mind) to be sent home and told that the "cramps" were false labor or something. She got ready like she normally would in the morning. People are already commenting to me about how perfect her makeup was, etc. Well, she thought the hospital visit would be maybe and hour or two, we'd be sent off, then maybe have lunch around there and then go to her regularly-scheduled doctor's appointment - directly across the street from Arlington Memorial.
So, as we are told that we will be admitted, we looked at each other with wide eyes. Mine said - "we're having the baby today!" ... hers said "Oh shit - I'm starving!".
Fine dining for the mother in labor is a combination of two selections - crushed ice or popsicles. During one of our many long walks around the hospital to see if the baby would drop more and Kathy would dilate more, I bought an orange Fanta and asked Kathy if she wanted a sip. She took one then asked if that was allowed. I said - Oh, don't be nuts - it's liquid! We then asked a passing nurse if she could have it, who said - Oh, absolutely not! No carbonated drinks of any kind!
With that, I submit to you that Kathy was on a 24-hour fast when she went through this incredible 22-hour journey of labor. This is a woman who normally can't go 4 hours without eating before feeling light-headed. Her diet in the weeks before labor was rich with protein, vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables, and lots and lots of brownies and brownie fudge sundaes. But at 2:30am, after 22 hours of labor with all the nourishment from 3 popsicles over the previous 30-hours-plus, she found the strength to keep pushing and deliver.
Yes, babies and the birth process are a miracle; but I think that Kathy's effort this past Tuesday and Wednesday reached miraculous proportions.

The Timeline

Tuesday, June 17
4:30am - Kathy wakes up with "cramps" and moves to the living room to read a book to see if she can get drowsy again.
5:30am - Giving up on sleep, Kathy showers and dresses while her "cramps" intensify and come with increasing regularity. She has her regularly-scheduled appointment with her Ob, Dr. Atkins later in the day.
6:45am - I make the executive decision that I will not go to work, and need to get her to the hospital to Triage, and make them tell us that these "cramps" are not contractions and send us home if they're not.
7:15, 7:18, 7:24, 7:28, 7:32, 7:39 - The times more "cramps" begin during our drive to the hospital, which I quickly reserve to memory to tell the nurses inside.
8:30am - Kathy's "cramps" are deemed contractions, she is dilated 0.5cm and is hooked up to monitors for observation.
9:50am - On orders, we begin walking the halls to see if Kathy will dilate more.
11:00am - Kathy is dilated just over a 1, and we are told to continue walking as this approach is apparently working.
1:30pm - Kathy dilates between 2 and 3 and we are officially admitted, while nurse has some "bloody show" during exam. We are assigned room 2331.
4:45pm - After doing more and more walking with her mother Joan, Kathy now dilates at 4. Four centimeters in 8 hours doesn't impress the doctor and we are given options for inducing, having her water broken, as well as getting an epidural.
6:45pm - As the anesthesiologist readies the epidural, Kathy's water magically breaks on its own. Epidural is administered.
9:00pm - Kathy dilates between a 5 and 6. Contractions are getting harder and closer together.
9:45pm - Rangers defeat the Atlanta Braves, 7-5. Hey - it was a long day that was going to get longer. Yes, the TV was on, and yes these are my notes.
10:30pm - Doctor begins an IV drip of patocin to increase contractions.
11:45pm - for the first time, we meet Dr. Mary Finke, the ObGyn on call at Arlington Memorial Hospital this night. She checks Kathy, who is now dilating between 7 and 8. The delivery table is brought into the room.
Midnight - I double-bag the coffee maker on the delivery floor and get a Double Gulp sized styrafoam cup filled with java. It's my third cup of coffee - something that will soon catch up to me.
Wednesday, June 18
12:15am - Kathy is dilated at 9.5cm
1:00am - Kathy is at a full 10cm dilation and we begin to push. On the in-house telephone, I call the family waiting room and leave my receiver off the hook - keeping the line open so I can deliver a crude form of Play-by-Play of the delivery. My mother is on the other end of the line and describing what she hears to others.
2:00am - Dr. Finke determines that if we can push the baby a few more centimeters down the birth canal, she can reach in and salad-tong his head and pull him out.
2:30am - Dr. Finke's goal is adequately reached, as Kathy is near exhaustion pushing and pushing and pushing with every contraction. Three more nurses arrive, blue sterile sheets are thrown everywhere and Kathy's legs are thrown up in stirrups. Dr. Finke takes a seat in her stool, masked with sterile gowns and gloves. Six eager faces surround the bed and urge Kathy to push.
2:46am - without any pretense, without a head pop-out first, without any real sign of anything, Dr. Finke reaches in and pulls out Kole Kenneth Fletcher. Being up by Kathy's head and with the baby coming out from behind blue sheets from raised legs - I didn't get a clear view of his actual delivery, but the world stopped on its axis when the doctor held him up.
The next 15 minutes was a swirl of emotions, and I can still replay the movie in my head over and over again. Every little kick and wiggle as the nurse cleaned him off. Every cry and jostle as she inked his feet and put them on the birth certificate. His calmness as he contently examined his face and mouth - not the screaming, screeching wails that we've seen on every TV baby-delivery show over the last 9 months. Watching him get wrapped up in a blanket and getting to hold him for a good two minutes before the friends and grandparents came sprinting in like Paparazzi. I took the time to remind him that he has at least 38 back-logged hours of Timeout, handed down by his mother for crimes while in the womb.


More later, eventually. I am seriously dog-whipped. What a day!

Real Quick

The birth date will always read June 18, but it was Tuesday, June 17 that will always be remembered as one mother of a day. Kathy woke up at 4:30am with "cramps", and three hours later we were at the hospital triage - basically waiting for someone to tell us it was false labor and to go home. But, Kathy was admitted around 1:30pm when she was dilated just over a 3. Water broke around 6:45, same time as the epidural. Then the midnight cowboy slowly made his descent. My mother, my dad & Kay, and Kathy's friends Sharon and Debbie were the true troopers - waiting it out until the bitter end from a family waiting room. Kathy's mother Joan was with us in the delivery room. For the crew in the waiting room, I called the in-house telephone from our room then left the receiver sitting out so they could at least hear what was going on - while I delivered what would best be described as very crude play-by-play of the delivery over the phone line.
Kole Kenneth Fletcher was yanked out with tongs by Dr. Mary Finke at 2:46am on the early fringes of Wednesday, June 18. He gave some healthy screams upon coming out, but by the time the nurse was wiping him down in his little heater, he was as calm as a koala, fidgeting with his hands and quietly discovering his face and tongue.
Kathy was snipped a little to get him out, so she was stitched up and is recovering. After all the excitement died down around 3:30am, they took Kole to the nursery while Kathy cleaned up and continued her recovery portion. With adrenaline and nerves still pumping, the best we could do was just lay down and re-live the past few hours. Sleep wasn't an option. We passed 4:30, making this an official 24-hour venture, then got moved to the recovery room about 6:00. I somehow knocked out for about 10 minutes in a recliner chair, then thought I'd try to make it home. Now I'm here, with essentially no sleep since 4:30 yesterday morning, and I'm wondering why in the hell I'm not back at the hospital. My brain is toast. Here's some pics.

Name Game

I've been asked about the name Kole Kenneth, and questions are sure to follow, so I thought I'd get that story out and straight.
First - it's not like Kathy and I had to have a K-name, but they started out as our first options and we just went from there.
Frankly, Kole is just a name that I've always liked and has stood out among K-names. In the Fletcher family, Kolton, Kade and Kallen have already been taken, while the top-100 names are littered with names like Caleb/Kaleb, Cameron/Kameron, Conner/Konner, Carter/Karter ... then there are the more traditional names like Kyle, Kevin, Kenneth, etc. And for the record - No, Keith Jr. was never an option.
I don't know - Kole was just a cool name, especially with the K-spelling, that fell through all the cracks and a lot of people aren't naming their kid right now, and I'm confident he won't be one of 10 Koles in a single classroom.
The only Cole/Kole I've heard used in popular culture recently was in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus, which was a great movie where Richard Dreyfuss received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. In the movie, based on a true story, Dreyfuss' character has a son and names him Cole. I thought it was really cool - and was relieved when Kathy thought it was cool too.
By the time we were on our honeymoon in Maui, we had one of those half-hearted conversations, probably brought on by too many Mai Tais, and discussed our kids names. We left Maui with the knowledge that a boy would be Kole and a girl would be Karissa ... when, or if, a day came when we actually decided to have a child.
Kenneth as a middle name was rather easy - and I had no problem with it being the first name. Kenneth is the name of Kathy's father, who passed just before we met, in late December of 2003. If we did use it as the first name, and Kole as the middle, then he would be Kenneth Kole ... which, if you haven't gone shoe shopping in a while, let's just say that it would be like naming a kid Ralph Lauren or Vidal Sassoon.
So ... Kole Kenneth it is.

Nothing to report

Each day that passes with no labor pains, no broken water, no diddly squat ... we keep looking ahead and finding some sort of purpose to an upcoming date, like some kind of deadline that will have some kind of special meaning.
After we passed Mother's Day, we looked ahead to May 27th - the day Kathy predicted she would give birth early on in the preganancy. When that passed, June 1st became the next logical date - a June baby. When that passed, we thought we were destined to just hit our Due Date of June 10. When that came and went, we couldn't help but to eye Friday the 13th of June. Were we superstitious enough to be bothered by that day? Frankly, I kind of was, but Kathy gives no credence to Friday the 13th, walking under ladders or black cats or any other superstition that comes down the pike.
So next ... Sunday, June 15th. Father's Day. We're way past Due. What a perfect and meaningful day to become a father for the first time. It could be the most perfect poetic pot of gold at the end of this long, long rainbow.
Nope. Nothing. The kid still sits in the belly - kicking and squirming.
We had a "Baby Pool" to suffice the gambling urge of those attending Kole's first baby shower back on April 20. The latest day picked was June 14. So, we've officially passed by everyone's expectations.
So still we wait ... and wait ... and wait ...